Freditorial - 4/17/13

Hey there, friends and readers. Ah, who am I kidding? No self-respecting friend of mine would be caught dead reading this stuff. Anywho, dear old Fred is back and he's palpitating and salivating to start ruminating and cogitating on some Cincinnating baseball.

Jackie Robinson Day was earlier this week. I remember sitting in my parent's basement with my old friend Schmeckie Horseheckler listening to the ballgame on the old Radiola. We would set up my Pa's card table and play like we were grown-ups. We would make up some butter and mayonaisse sandwiches and sneak buttermilk out of the fridge to play like were having a poker game party like our fathers. We would even smoke cornsilks like they were cigarettes!

Anyway, I will always remember the radio broadcaster describing ol' Jackie running. He said he "ran like an Oldsmobile." I never did quite get why he said that until much later in life when I realized that the local Oldsmobile dealer was the sponsor of the broadcast! Can you imagine that?

Old Schmeckie grew up to become a successful optometrist, even owned his own office and everything. He passed away a few years ago on account of an acute corn diagnosis.

I'm glad baseball finally smarted up and decided to honor Jackie. He was a major cadillac for change, not only in baseball, but in all of America. Baseball needed to change. America needed to change.

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I heard talk recently that the National League could start using the designated hitter. My question is: why does baseball need to change? Baseball has been played - quite successfully, I might add - for 150 years without an all-time pinch-hitter. They say that the new Interleague Play schedule is forcing so many NL teams to use a DH at different times now, so they'll eventually just pick it up permanently. I say nuts to that! If perpetual Interleague Play is causing the NL to get a DH, then why not just eliminate the Interleague Play? That's my solution.

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The Reds are fighting the injury bug something fierce right now. They lost Ryan Ludwick on the first day of the season, they lost Shawn Marshall after only one appearance, and now they've lost their ace starter Johnny Cueto. I was at the ballpark the other day and I asked Bernie Stowe what he was putting in the water that had the players so snake bit, but he just looked at me like he didn't know me. That Bernie is always such a kidder! He's a real class-act and an asset to the team.

Joey Votto hit his first home run of the season the other day and Jay Bruce has yet to hit his. What's the deal, fellas? I'm afraid this team has no power without Ryan Ludwick and opposing pitchers are able to attack Joey and Jay because they don't have his protection. I don't know how they can score runs without him. If Joey and Jay can't start driving in runs, it's going to be a long summer waiting for the big, burly right-handed masher to come back.