10 Reds Things to Talk About Other Than Aroldis Chapman

10. Anthroldis Flapcan

A paleofuturistic steam-punk character from the wildly unsuccessful sci-fi novella The Chrono Gambit Legend Restored. This has to do with the Reds because this whole spring has been a little bit weird but more boring.

9.The payroll

It's around $100 Million. That seems like a lot. Will it make the team more or less likely to cut a player if they turn into Wilson Valdez?

8. The starting rotation

Can we assume Cueto's going to repeat his Cy-worthy season and everyone will stay healthy? I doubt it. Maybe look into adding depth or even quality. But who?

8. Arold-- Dahl story. Yea, that's the ticket. Rold Dahl, you know? Is that not how you spell it?

No, that browser tab wasn't FanGraphs, it was a literary blog. You should check out one of the stories comin' outta this guy. They vary in length and are British.

6. Cuban fireballing lefties

No one specific, just a topic in which you might be interested. I dunno, did you try them in the starting rotation? Them being whoever.

5. Mark Prior & Armando Galarraga

Even one major league appearance by either will be a nice story. But hopefully because it also means the division has been wrapped up in mid-August.

4. Ryan Ludwick

He's been pronounced a bust a few dozen times so far in his career. So don't even start with all that.

3. Opening Day

This is only not #1 because I like to preserve my emotional energy until the day gets a little closer.

2. Mike Leake

Little known fact: he was a first-round pick who skipped the minors and was a Rookie of the Year candidate for a good chunk of 2010.

1. Walt Jocketty and Dusty Baker

Are they still cool?