"All in the game yo, All in the game." – Omar Little

Teleplay by David Simon

FADE IN:

EXT. INFIELD/WEST BALTIMORE – NIGHT

Ghetto baseball infield. Boarded-up rowhomes, yellow police tape, emergency vehicles, UNIFORMED COPS, TRAINING STAFF signifying from the periphery. CLOSE ON BODY of a middle aged white male, clutching his groin and head, supine at 2nd base. POV is ground level, tracking from 1st base to a rivulet of blood, to second base, to the face of the victim, eyes locked in sudden comprehension. Then onward to hot dog wrappers, empty beer cups, and, near the victim’s feet, a crumpled $40 million contract. And all the while we are listening to a DETECTIVE (McNulty) questioning a THIRD BASEMAN (MACHADO).

MCNULTY (o.c)

So your boy’s name is what?

MACHADO (o.c.)

B-Rob

MCNULTY (o.c.)

You called this guy B-Rob?

MACHADO (o.c.)

Yeah.

CAMERA finally finishes its low-angle scan of the terrain to reveal HOMICIDE DET. JIMMY MCNULTY, white, mid-thirties, Irish, notepad in hand, questioning MANNY MACHADO, black, early twenties. They are sitting, MCNULTY casually and MACHADO nervously, on the steps of the dugout.

MCNULTY (cont.)

He like the name?

MACHADO

What?

MCNULTY (cont.)

This kid, whose mama went to the trouble to christen him… (checks notepad) … Brian Michael Roberts, he comes out on the field one day, maybe 23, 24 years old, and some asshole sportscaster calls him B-Rob. So he’s B-Rob forever. Doesn’t seem fair.

MACHADO

Life be that way, I guess

MCNULTY

So, who hurt B-Rob?

MACHADO

I’m saying every Spring we in Sarasota. We play ball, you know? All the boys from ‘round the way. We play ‘til late.

MCNULTY

Baseball team, right. I heard you are one of the best young infielders in the American League.

MACHADO

And like every time, B-Rob, he would get a big contract, you know. Play a few games when the season started. Then he would hit his fool head on a base or strain hisself stealin’ second, you see what I’m saying?

MCNULTY

Lemme understand this. Every year, you and your boys play baseball. And every year, your pal B-Rob gets paid millions and gets hurt in April. I got to ask you. If every time, B-Rob would grab the money and run away – why did you give him the second base job? Why trade Andino to Seattle?

WITNESS looks at MCNULTY like he’s an idiot.

MACHADO

Got to.

(pause)

This America, man.

FADE TO:

MAIN TITLES

EXT. OUTFIELD/WEST BALTIMORE

Two unmarked police cars pull up alongside one another in opposite directions. The drivers, DET MCNULTY and DET WILLIAM "BUNK" MORELAND, strike up a conversation. DET LESTER FREAMON sits in the passenger seat of DET MORELAND’s vehicle

BUNK

So who is this motherfucker in rightfield this year? Marky Mark?

MCNULTY

Markakis. Greek, I think.

BUNK

Them Greeks sure have some weird ass names.

MCNULTY

Hey, don’t knock the Greeks. They have a career 118 OPS+. They also invented civilization.

BUNK

Yeah, and ass-fucking too.

MCNULTY

But what the fuck is Pac-Man Jones doing in center?

BUNK

Not Pac-Man. Adam. Ain’t nothing like Pac-Man.

MCNULTY

So who is he?

BUNK

Just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick, who hit 32 HR and led the team in OPS last year.

FREAMON

You give him too much credit.

BUNK

Okay then. He ain’t that humble. And he’s overrated defensively.

MCNULTY

I just don't understand why they re-signed McLouth. He's an empty suit. Why do they give a fuck about helping his career? He'll probably hit .190

BUNK

That'll teach 'em to give a fuck when it ain't their turn to give a fuck.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT OUTSIDE CAMDEN YARDS – DAY

DETECTIVES HERC and CARVER sit in their unmarked cruiser, staking out the location of a suspected drug dealer in the Camden Yards parking lot. They pass the hours in idle conversation.

HERC

Anybody I want?

CARVER

Anybody.

HERC

I want more than one. I want the Olsen Twins.

CARVER

You got ‘em. Slaves. All they live for is to get you off. But so now who are you gonna do for ‘em. One guy, one act, one time.

HERC

Right, and the minute I name a guy, you’re gonna be like, "I knew you were a cocksucker from the first time I laid eyes on you. Jim Johnson? Huh, that’s your fantasy? You closet case motherfucker."

CARVER

Jim Johnson?

HERC

Fuck you. It’s a setup. And I would never go for a relief pitcher, 51 saves or not. Not enough WAR.

CARVER

Both Olsen Twins. Ashley, Kate…..

HERC

Mary-Kate. And yeah, I admire her body of work.

CARVER

They’re yours. All you gotta do is name a guy.

HERC

I’m not catching. I’m pitching.

CARVER

No problem.

HERC

How ‘bout I just give Chris Davis a handjob? He’s a designated hitter, so it’s not like he’s a real man, even with 33 HR.

CARVER

Man, you don’t even get Weezy Jefferson for a hand job.

HERC

Okay. I’ve thought this through. I’ve decided. Matt Wieters.

CARVER

Matt Wieters? Lemme guess. It’s not about sex. It’s about giving a guy a break. You feel bad for him because he has to catch shitty starters like Jake Arrieta and Tommy Hunter. He looks sad on his baseball card.

HERC

Actually, no. I just think he’s really cute. And he is the best catcher in baseball, if you get what I’m sayin.

GUS TRIANDOS

I always knew you were a cocksucker, Herc.

CUT TO:

INT. COURTROOM/CIRCUIT COURTHOUSE - DAY

OMAR LITTLE sits at the witness stand in Courtroom of JUDGE DANIEL PHELAN, being questioned by ATTORNEY MAURICE LEVY about the Orioles bullpen.

LEVY

And what is your occupation?

OMAR

I rip and run.

LEVY

You…?

OMAR

I robs drug dealers! [Jury laughs]. Kinda like how the Orioles bullpen robs American League hitters.

LEVY

Mr. Little, how does a man rob drug dealers for eight or nine years and live to tell about it? And how the hell did the Orioles top five relievers all finish with an ERA+ of 160 or better?

OMAR

One day at a time, I s’pose.

LEVY

They are amoral, are they not? Relievers feed off the violence and despair of bad starting pitching. They steal from those who themselves are stealing the lifeblood from our fans. They are parasites who leach off….

OMAR

Just like you, man.

LEVY

Excuse me? What?

OMAR

I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase, and they got the baseball. It’s all in the game though, right? It’s all in the game.

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT

STRINGER BELL leads a meeting of fellow GANGSTERS, including WEE BAY and SHAMROCK, in a nondescript conference room of a Best Western Hotel on the outskirts of Baltimore. They discuss the Orioles hopes for the coming season.

WEE BAY

Shit, man, them muthafuckas got the same roster as last year. Dey won 93, but dey scored the same muthafuckin number of runs they allowed.

STRINGER

That's good. That's like a forty degree day. Ain't nobody got nuttin to say about a forty degree day. Fifty? Bring a smile to your face. Sixty? Shit, folks are damn near barbecuing that mothafucka. Go down to twenty? Folks get they bitch on. Get they blood complainin... but forty? Nobody give a FUCK about forty. Nobody remember forty, and the Orioles is giving us a forty degree day. What the fuck?! [to SHAMROCK] What you doin'?

SHAMROCK

Robert's Rules says we got to have minutes of the meeting. These the minutes.

STRINGER

Fool, is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?

SHAMROCK

Sorry, String. [pause] String?

STRINGER

What you need, fool?

SHAMROCK

Why this show full of British muthafuckas pretendin' to be West Baltimore? Ain't there no American actors can do ghetto?

FADE TO BLACK