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The Red Report: Johnny Cueto

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The nine scariest in the English language are "I'm Johnny Cueto, and you are on deck."

Johnny Beisbol
Johnny Beisbol
Cyrus Q. Schourek

Ed. Note: We're bringing back this feature this year, to keep an up-to-date look at the current Reds players. These will be in-depth profiles of the players we expect to make the Reds roster in 2013.

Johnny Cueto

#47 / Pitcher / Cincinnati Reds





Feb 15, 1986

Fast Facts:

  • Johnny Brent (?) (Ortiz) Cueto was born on February 15, 1986 in San Pedro de Macoris, Dominican Republic. He is one of 76 major league players born in San Pedro de Macoris. The story goes that back in the day, the British plantation owners in western Hispaniola wanted to compete against each other to form the best cricket teams. When Americans came in in the 19th century, the new plantation owners brought in baseball instead. What I'm trying to say is, Johnny's family has been playing baseball since before my family and probably yours could spell it.
  • From what I can gather online, and it's not much, Johnny is married. I think he has a car with New York plates. He probably spends the winter back in the DR. He has made news in the past by going out with one of Tony La Russa's girlfriends.
  • Seriously, is there anything else out there about Johnny in English? As far as I can tell, he lives, sleeps, and breathes baseball.
  • Fay's recent article on Johnny Cueto, Opening Day Starter is a great read. Baker has some great quotes about how Cueto is the best fielder and the best bunter on the staff. Of course, when Johnny was younger and skinnier he would also be used to pinch-run. Baker says that even though Cueto can't hit worth a lick (lifetime .089/.119/.093) he can foul off a few pitches and infuriate a pitcher.
  • My favorite stat from that article is that Cueto had the bases loaded 20 times last year. Batters were 0-17 with two walks and a sac fly.
  • My second-favorite stat is that Cueto apparently runs like a sexually frustrated high school cross-country athlete. Which is not a stat.

Organizational History:

Signed: As an Amateur Free Agent on March 16, 2004 as an 18-year-old.

Cueto threw 43 innings in low-Rookie in 2005 before getting a six-inning cup of A+ coffee. In 2006, he started off in Dayton - where he threw a rain-shortened no-hitter - and ended up back in Sarasota, throwing 138 innings on the year. In 2007, he had 14 starts in Sarasota, 10 in AA Chattanooga (RIP), and 4 in AAA, finishing the season with 170 Ks, and 34 walks as a 21-year-old. He hasn't been back (save for a brief rehab assignment since).

In his five MLB years, Cueto has lowered his BB/9 each year and has had 30+ starts in every year but 2011 (24). He only went over 120 pitches once last year, the time when the entire bullpen was doing a dog's vomit bukkake (which looked worse than it sounds). That start he threw 122 pitches.

Contract Status:

MLB Service Time: 5 years precisely.

Contract Status: Signed a four-year contract for $27M in the runup to the 2011 season. He's good for $7.4M this year, $10M in 2014, and has a $10M club option for 2015, with a $800,000 buyout.

Career Stats:


Ratings via TheBaseballCube:

Control: 64

K-Rating: 66

Efficiency: 66

vs. Power: 42

These are literally just numbers. They say that Cueto is good at throw ball hard.