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Yer dern Skippy! Reds reportedly sign Schumaker to two-year, $5M deal

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Oh, boy.

Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

The Reds are nearing completion on a two-year deal with former Cardinals and Dodgers utility man, Skip Schumaker, according to Kenny Rosenthal. Looks like it's all pending a physical and such, but, well, there it is, I suppose.

I gotta be honest. There is a lot to hate about this deal. Money numbers aren't available yet, but this is yet another two-year deal for a crappy replacement-level player. Off the top of my head, I count Willy Taveras, Mike Lincoln, Miguel Cairo (that one actually worked pretty well), Jack Hannahan, Ryan Ludwick, and now Skipper. That's a lot of guaranteed years for a lot of roster filler.

To his credit, Skipper Doodle has a career OBP of .344. But he hasn't topped that number since 2009, which was coincidentally the last time he was at all useful. Since then, he has been worth a grand total of -0.3 bWAR. That gets you a multi-year deal and the collective derision of literally hundreds of internet-bound bloggerati-types like me.

Dude really makes his bones by being defensively versatile. He plays second base and all three outfield positions, but none of them well or even average. So there's that, too.

My Sum-of-All-Fears-24-Jack-Ryan-Jack Bauer Doomsday worst-case scenario take on this is that Skippy is probably going to play a good bit of 2B next year after they trade Brandon Phillips. I mean, Skippy is a fairly decent if not really useful bench player, but if he is starting it is a big, big problem.

So to sum it up, it's too many years for a replacement player who would be halfway decent in a Jack Hannahan kinda role but will probably be asked to do much more.

I am not impressed.