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Coaching Casting Couch: Who's The Lucky Lad?

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In this oft-updated article, we'll look at coaching candidates and their pros and cons., I guess

This is an occasionally-updated list of coaching candidates to take over for the dearly (to ME at least)-departed Dusty and enact a new reign of terror and bloodshed on the NL Central or at least the Cubs and Brewers.

List goes from most-to-least likely in a subjective basis. Pros and cons are there. Once we find sources that point to/away from one guy or another, we'll link them. Hopefully. Honestly, I'm making this up as I go along and I hope you enjoy the ride.

The way I see it, there's basically two continuums of interest here and one of no interest. I don't think the whole "will he have a modern outlook" is worth going over, because I don't think there's anyone really in the antimodern camp. It's just a strawman. So whatever.

Our two questions: Is it better to have someone from within the organization or from outside of it? Is it better to have someone shake things up or keep the ship steady? I have my opinions (inside the org/ruffle feathers) but I think that these are the toggles worth discussing.

1) Bryan Price

Pros: has been running one of the best pitching staffs for the past couple years after putting up great staffs (staves?) wherever he's gone. Has a lot of trust from the guys (Arroyo has already come out in favor) and he seems to be very clever. Rocks a good moustache. Fay likes him, saying "Price has worked wonders with the pitching staff. But there’s more to it than that. Price is a very smart guy. He’s a Cal grad (and a conservative – Castellini will like that). Price will embrace the use of new information much more than Baker did." Important to note that Castellini is rocking the Gray-esque mid-90s hat in that article's photograph. If you're a fan of continuity, this is continuity.

Cons: There is really no way to tell how he'll deal with the non-pitchers. All clubhouses have a pretty sharp divide between the pitchers and position players, and Price will have to impress 13 new people, even though he's been around. Also, pitching coaches have not had recent success as managers.

2) Jose Oquendo

Pros: Is a former-Cardinal who Jocketty knows. When Walt was asked about him, responded "Oquendo, I can't say right now. I can't comment on him because he's under contract." Is very well-respected around baseball and intimately familiar with the Reds and the division.

Cons: Is a former-Cardinal. May be a Manchurian candidate who will bat Heisey-Cozart one-two. Which, actually, might happen anyways. I'm not prepared to like him. This isn't related at all but I found it interesting: the Reds only have Aroldis Chapman and Johnny Cueto from a Spanish-speaking country on contract for next year (that said, the arb-eligible Simon will likely resign).

3) Dave Martinez

Pros: Comes from the Joe Maddon coaching tree, which desperately needs pruning. Named two of his children "Dalton" and "Jagger" and holy shit seriously dudes I just really want to hang out with a kid named "Jagger Martinez". Was a Red in 1992. Supposed to be a very sharp guy who is consistently "next in line" for a managerial job. Can grow a super-legit beard. Has been cutting his teeth in the AL East, which is honestly probably the only division more contentious than the NL Central (I can't imagine the admittedly-tight AL West giving a shit about each other).

Cons: Probably has watched 4 Reds games since his playing career ended. Would probably refer to his third-baseman as "Tom Frazier" through May. Is unfamiliar with the NL in general. May have to be carefully taught who to hate.

4) Barry Larkin

Pros: Is Barry Larkin. Probably won't get injured managing. Has stuck around baseball for a while and would be pretty much instantly respected by every single Red. Probably the only guy besides Dusty Baker who can control BP's ego. Would defer instantly to Price, I'd imagine, essentially making him a co-coach.

Cons: I'm really not emotionally prepared to dislike Barry Larkin at the drop of a bunt. He left the organization not under the best terms, and I'd expect to see him come back in some capacity before leaping into a position like "manager."

5) Ken Griffey

Pros: Has deal with Bob Steve, Cool Papa Billy, Lutz, Winker, and a bunch of other prospects as the Blaze's manager. The Blaze have probably been the most consistently-cromulent team of all the Reds' minor league affiliates. Probably wants to get the hell out of Bakersfield.

Cons: Is already 63, which I did not realize. Would come with a lot of baggage with all of his familiarity. I'm using him to also include Delino DeShields; both are probably due for a promotion, but maybe should be in the MLB dugout before becoming managers.

6) David Bell

Pros: Young guy with energy. Moeller grad. Is the only Bell to have yet to wear a Reds uniform, and surely there's some sort of prophecy there. Currently in the Reds system.

Cons: If you're going to hire Bell, why don't you hire Larkin? Is currently 3b coach for the Cubs, so he would have to be fumigated before use.

7) Jim Riggleman

Pros: Has been in the organization for a couple of years now and will be familiar with the up-and-coming Reds we're going to have to be relying on soon enough. Has experience managing.

Cons: Has basically been a bad manager wheree'er he's been. Left the Nats midseason, which gave some a raw taste (personally, I'm in favor of it). Is basically the caretaker type that shiftless orgs like the Padres or White Sox use, not ones at the peak of their window - to mix some metaphors - like the Reds.

8) Ozzie Guillen

Pros: Would make me unsustainably happy. Would make P-Doc unsustainably sad. Has a World Series ring, which is more than I can say for everyone else on this list besides Barry Larkin. Cincinnati has a relatively small Latin@ population to antagonize.

Cons: Not actually a very good manager. May convince Aroldis Chapman to repatriate to Cuba.

9) Tony Larussa

Not actually a candidate, I just wanted to requote this from tl;dr:

“I’m not going manage again and the last time I saw Walt, he told me, ‘I’ve had more than enough of you.’”

-Tony Larussa