Light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were . . .
Today, the Houston Astros end their last trip to Great American Ballpark as members of the NL Central Division. While the Astros remain a shell of their former selves (and a truly awful team), our series against them will be missed. While the only interesting thing about the 2012 Astros, aside from their futility, is Jose Altuve, even he will be soon forgotten about as quickly as it takes Jonathan Broxton to swallow him whole without unhinging his jaw.
From Babs, we go Blitzkrieg Bopping, as today's lineup features the Red Ramones of Joey (Votto), Didi (Gregorious) and Johnny (Cueto). Johnny will attempt to Beat on the Brats in an effort to win his 18th game and propel himself back into Cy Young discussion. Meanwhile, Joey Questioningly wonders if anyone will pitch to him ever again. And, of course, Didi will bat second today in a lineup that may have been constructed with Carbona, Not Glue.
The Astros will counter the musical onslaught with journeyman right hander Edgar Gonzalez. While Gonzalez doesn't have a stellar track record, his first start for the Astros resulted in 5.1 innings of one-run baseball. In all likelihood, he'll need to at least match that performance this afternoon since Jose Altuve is day-to-day for Houston. In all honesty, if you're relying on Edgar Gonzalez to pitch like vintage Greg Maddux, you're probably going to have a season resembling the 2012 Astros. I would write more about the lineup of the Houston Astros, but frankly, at this point in the season, nobody can name five Astros position players without looking it up.
It'll be sad to see the Astros leave Central Division. The team will certainly miss the 14 extra wins a season they provide us. John Fay will miss the food the Astros serve in their Houston press box. Homer Bailey will probably miss pitching in Houston given his career stats. Reds fans will miss having a divisional opponent whose fans do not seem to travel at all to Cincinnati to watch them. Houston will miss the opportunity of not having to find someone worthwhile as a designated hitter. I don't care about that though, because they're not the Reds. Go Reds, they're my favorite team!