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Red It, Watched It, And Wept - Week of 9/23/12

The Community Cup for the most incredible game of King's ever.   (Photo by John Grieshop/Getty Images)
The Community Cup for the most incredible game of King's ever. (Photo by John Grieshop/Getty Images)
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Covering what other writers are too scared too preoccupied with actual news to cover.

Monday: Mocktoberfest

We have some weird customs in this town. We start our baseball season by walking five blocks in a neighborhood in need of serious redevelopment. We suffer from Cubs-like delusions of grandeur when it comes to our football team. I won't even get into our culinary oddities including, but not limited to putting chili sauce on spaghetti and spaghetti sauce on our pizza. Another tradition in the Queen City is Oktoberfest, which celebrates our city's German heritage and our complete inability to operate a solid German restaurant in the metroarea. To (over-)compensate for this, not only do we import cream puffs from Columbus, but we also annually ask a C-List celebrity to lead everyone in a chicken dance. Fortunately, it was announced today that Cincinnatians will not have to suffer through Vince Neil or Weird Al this year, but rather former Reds great Tom Browning. This upgrades the annual chicken dance from "national embarrassment" to "something to be avoided."

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Tuesday: Have WOOOOOS, Will Travel.

Red Reporter, the official champion of the "WOOOOOOs" being emitted from Great American Ballpark, will keep you up to date on all the stories associated with this fantastic phenomenon. One thing we discovered this week is that the WOOOOOOs travel well. So well, in fact, that they can be heard from Reds fans attending games at Wrigley Field in Chicago. Granted, there are fewer Cubs fans at Wrigley this time of year than supporters at Jimmy McMillan rallies, but the mere knowledge that this sound will render postseason television insufferable for the rest of the baseball community makes us smile.

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Wednesday: Battle Back, Baker!

We here at RIWIAW sincerely hope that Dusty Baker is resting well in Chicago in preparation for a full recovery. In that vein, we also want to congratulate Baker on his 3,000 games as a major league manager. For a nice summary on his feat, please take a look at Charlie Scrabble's piece in Wednesday's Reposter. If you want to get into an argument with some #FARRDUSTY mouthbreathers on why he should win Manager of the Year, check out this article too.

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Thursday - Comment of the Week


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Friday: Will Speculate 4 Pageclicks

Paul Daugherty has been an frequent source of material for us here at RIWIAW. So much so that we would feel bad and inconsistent if we fail to point out all fantastic uses of hackery by the P-Doc. Today, Daugherty tried to stir the pot by taking a quote statement offhand commend from a "Prominent Club Official" to raise speculation that Ryan Ludwick may not be back for the 2013 season. PROVOCATIVE. Did Daugherty tried to follow up with either party on this? Nope, because that doesn't get page clicks. If he did, he probably would have discovered that Ludwick said the following earlier this week:

"I've told numerous people I like it here. I'm definitely going to do everything in my ability on my side to stay here. I know it's a business and budgets become factors in an organization. I'm really hoping everything works out."


We may be going out on a limb here, but perhaps this idle speculation is the reason why Daugherty cannot get anyone in the Reds system to return his phone calls.

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Saturday - My BROTHER, the Car.

Clinching a division championship is an accomplishment that many baseball teams and fans enjoy celebrating. One would then assume that the Cincinnati Reds clinching their third division championship since 1995 would necessitate coverage from the team's flagship television station. Well, if one would assume this, they would be wrong. While Fox Sports Ohio tried (and that's ALL that matters when you charge for a service in a capitalist economy!) to air a show, they were unsuccessful due to transmission issues:

So, what did they do in the alternative? Did they show clips of the 2012 season? Nope. Did they record an audio only feed? No. Did they do a remote of Jim Day hanging out at a McDonald's Playland? Not at all! Instead of airing a postgame show, Fox Sports Ohio decided to air a program devoted to restoring classic automobiles. In related news, Waycross Community Media's Dial-A-Psychic finished above last place in the Cincinnati viewing area Saturday night for the first time in a decade.

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Sunday: Chapmania Diagnosis

We here at RIWIAW are company men, women, and freaky deakies. That's why we enjoy distributing a firm tip of the cap when Baseball Nation provides pieces such as interesting breakdowns of Cuban Missile Aroldis Chapman. Where else can you get information about Chapman's somewhat bizarre pitching performances and news about hotdogs on eBay? Seriously, if there's another blog that covers these items and/or road beef, we want to submit a resume.