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Two legit to quit

Jeff Hanisch-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire

The Reds equaled their 2010 win total and "clinched a post-season berth" yesterday - the latter of which is certainly a positive but does not really feel like anything. We're still counting down here and kicking it pre-'94 pennant race style.

Here are a few other axiomatic proofs that this has been a charmed year:

  • The Reds lose Joey Votto, then promptly go on a winning tear.
  • The Reds run out their weakest (perceived) lineup in a long time, win game in non-fluke fashion.

The Reds' win yesterday had something to do with Johnny Cueto and playing the Cubs. But also it had to do with this pump-up speech delivered by Miguel Cairo:


Bring it in here guys.

Let me be blunt: no one really wants us out there on that field today. Well, with the exception of Todd and Ryan. And Chris a little bit. Where are they?

Not in yet?

Wait, I thought we were all staying at the Marriott? OK, well that's probably good. They're going to need the extra sleep.

But the rest of you. Listen up. Some FanGraphs writer - you've heard of FanGraphs? - he said this was a terrible lineup. Said it was the worst. And Red Reporter - I'm as big a fan as the next guy - made fun of it and generally thought very little of it.

I'm here to tell you that I've heard it all before. Pretty much every season. I've been in the league for about 27 years, played for every team - most of 'em twice. I actually remember when Jamie Moyer was in his late-30s. I was around when Barry Bonds invented steroid pills. I remember when it was just one league, before they started this whole National and American League gobbledy-gook. Hell, I remember most of your births.


I don't think --


Leave it.


So I've seen some shit.

Some of you might not see a clear path to the majors - either you're blocked or you got a ceiling so low, it's another floor. Does that make sense? Doesn't matter. You might feel like also-rans, third-stringers, quad-A 40-man fringers.

Some of the minor-league stadiums you played in might be in much better repair than this stadium. Many of the teams you played were much better. But this is The Show. Check the label on your jersey. Just do NOT rip the tags off, 'cuz they'll take it out of your stipend.

The point is: Did I quit when the Devil Rays were terrible and released me and my career hit the skids?


Devil Rays?


Hell no. I went back to play for the Cubs for a second time. This is where baseball careers get back on track. Chicago! Provided you do not stay long.

Where was I? I'm still here, MF-ers. I'll be here forever probably.

This could be the greatest day game of our lives. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Cairo, we might get in trouble." It's a baseball. You hit it and then you let this insane wind go to work. You're also all pretty good at defense.

Somebody's gotta get this magic number down to 2. And we're just the guys to do it!