The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game
You see, I was brought up to think that things were pretty straight-forward, y'know? I mean, that things were simple? Well, when I saw that lady out there throwing that baseball tonight for the Reds, I just wondered if it was some sort of special occasion or something. Turns out her friend, who went out of his way to throw the baseball with the wrong hand and bat backwards, I don't know why he did that, happened to hit the ball hard a few times, and one time he hit it so far that he didn't even stop running. I guess those fans should've helped him out and told him where he should have gone. He probably would have liked that quite a lot. I hope there was somebody on his team there to catch him, or else he might still be going. You never know what might happen once you start running. Sometimes you just do not sto-op.
The supergrover Memorial Honorary Star of the Game
Well I have never seen that kind of performance before. I had heard through the grapevine that tonight was supposed to be some sort of 90s night, but I sure did not see any elderly people in here. Some things are just like a box of chocolates I guess, and you just never know what you're gonna get. I am pretty sure that there was one person who thought they were twenty-one, twenty-four, and thirty-five tonight. I just don't know what to say about that. Stupid is as stupid does, I guess. I think my Mama would have had a few things to say to that Gay Jesus, too. I just do not know.
- I don't know about you, but it sure looked to me like these folks just did not know what they were doing for a while. I knew right there from the start that I was going to pull for those men in the gray uniforms, since from my seat it looked like my Jenny was throwing the baseball for them. She is so-o special. Sometimes I think about her throwing those rocks at her old house. I guess that's where she learned to throw like that. Well she did just a great job throwing that baseball so that team in the white couldn't hit it.
- Just when it looked both of those teams were not going to win, suddenly things just started to happen. That one guy, Jenny's friend I told you about who just would not stop running? Well, when they tried to throw the ball to him he just swung that tree like he was mad at it. It sounded just like that time when something just jumped up and bit me. After that, the gray team just seemed to be smiling and telling Jenny what a good job she had done.
- I was so proud of what Jenny had done, and I tried to get from my seat down to see her. By the time I got down to the field she was gone, though. She's like the wind, y'know. She just kinda ups and leaves when you're least expecting. I miss her. Turns out they put some guy in to replace her who just happens to have the re-cord for throwing that ball faster than anyone ever, y'know? He throws it with the wrong hand, too. But that gray team, they sure like him, because he threw for a bit and then they all ran on the field to celebrate. It was like they thought they had scored a touchdown or something. I bet Lieutenant Dan would have just told them to get down and shut up. They sure were happy though.
- So it sounds like 90s night was a success. I bet my mama would be proud.
- After those players left the field, I tried to run back to our family pro-perty, but I just could not seem to find it. I got to this one crossroads, and I just could not figure out which way I was sup-posed to go-o.
- I do hope I manage to find my way back to our house quick-ly. My mama is cooking din-ner tomorrow, and since it's Thursday I know it's going to be grilled catfish with mashed potatoes and lots and lots of pepper.
- I love the 90s.