Umm, Here's Some Links and Stuff

So I just got hooked up with this, errr, umm, this thing here. I'm gonna try to get it to work before Butt-Head comes in and screws it all up. Let's see here...yeah, therewego. This thing's pretty awesome. I can like talk to chicks and stuff, watch stuff like this over and over, and even find out some news and stuff. Here's that:

• So like, the Reds are awesome and the Cards suck, but not last night. Dammit, Brian Jordan, stop hitting 3-run home runs. So much for that 4 game winning streak.
• It looks like Jose Rijo is set to have Tommy John surgery today. Well that sucks. He is Rijolio! He needs duct tape for his elbow!
• Looks like old/new pickup Mariano Duncan is good again. Y'know, I kinda thought that guy was old and bad, but he's gone 2 for 4 in each game he's started since the trade. Not bad at all.
• Umm, so it looks like the Dusty likes Daryl Strawberry. Like, I dunno if that's such a good idea. That guy kinda sounds a lot like Butt-Head. Yeah, yeah, probably should just sign Todd for RF. Yeah.
• It kinda looks like Paul O'Neill can't hit baseballs any more. Hehehehe...balls. I always kinda thought that guy was a fart-knocker anyway.
• Carl Everett has been honking wangers at Shea. Hehehe...wangers. Kinda sounds like the Mets are trying to play better, like Montreal. That sounds about right. New York should do everything it can to be more like Montreal. That's what Bill Pulsipher would want.
• They're going to leave Salmon out? That smells kinda fishy. Well, maybe not. Sounds like that new guy Jim Edmonds can carry the load for the California Angels.
• There's also like something going on with the Balkans or something. I always thought Perfect Strangers was dumb though. I can never understand what that guy's saying.
• Oh look, the Cubs are gonna miss the playoffs...again. I can barely read and like don't even know my last name, but I know that's not surprising.