clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Farmers Only: Missed Opportunities, Mashing Knockwursts, and Moombahton

Looks like these blokes got tummy aches while wading in the ocean. Bloody Australians.
 (Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images)
Looks like these blokes got tummy aches while wading in the ocean. Bloody Australians. . (Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images)
Getty Images
  • Lousyville dropped another one, losing for the sixth time in seven games to Charlotte, 6-2. Henry "September?" Rodriguez slapped two singles, but managed not to be involved in either Bat run, as the team mustered a mere three other hits. Bill Bray is apparently already pitching again, and he tossed a scoreless inning, striking out 1 and allowing a hit. I know it's outlandishly unlikely he rebounds this year, but imagine if somehow he got all healthy and was that phenomenal lefty specialist we once had? He'd be the flamethrower welded onto the mega zombie-fighting comic-book-gun that is the current bullpen. Up next: Someone faces Charlotte at 7:15.
  • Pensacola emerged from combat an 8-5 victor against Mobile. Kaiser Donald Lutz landjäger'd the schiße out of BayBear pitchers, going 4-5 with 2 umlauts. Tucker Barnhart chimed in with 3 hits of his own, and Billy Hamilton was caught stealing in his only attempt. :-( Chad Rogers earned the win with 6 admirable innings, and Curtis Partch got smoked. Up next: Tony "The Swami" Cingrani (5-3, 1.94) takes the hill at 8:05.
  • Bakersfield squandered a bases-loaded, 2-out top of the ninth, as Moose Mattair, Kurtis Muller, and Juan Duran got no help from their teammates in a 4-3 walkoff loss to San Jose. The aforementioned three combined for eight of the nine Blaze hits. Tim Crabbe tossed 6 innings of 3-run ball, and Pat Doyle gave up a walkoff gobstopper to the first batter in the ninth. Up next: Sweaty Walczak (3-3, 5.38) faces San Jose at 10.
  • Dayton was off. Jacob "The Rock" Johnson [né Jingleheimer] takes the hill with his plus-sized ERA against Lake County at 7.
  • Billings gave two thumbs up to Drew "Ebert and" Cisco, who scattered two hits over 5 pristine innings in a 3-0 Mustang win over the Idaho Falls Chukars (wait...really?!?). Three 2012 draftees (Dan Langfield, Sean Lucas, and Matt Wiley) locked it down from the pen, while Brandon Dailey and Jon Matthews each tripled. Up next: Sal "Ray" Romano (3-4, 5.01) takes the hill against the Pigeons Chukars. Pppppffffffaaaaaahahahaha their mascot is the Cee-Lo of birds. [deep breaths]...[3 more minutes of guffaws]...sorry about that.
  • The AZL Reds' comeback attempt also fell short with the bases loaded, as they lost to the mini-Indians, 7-6. Wilfrel Estivez slapped 3 singles for 3 RBI, and Adam Matthews and buddies Tanner Rahier & Avain Rachal all doubled. Pedro Diaz started and was creamed in his 3 innings, giving up 5 runs on 6 hits. Up next: Little Giants at 10pm.
  • I promised you some Moombahton so here are a few different examples (<-- possibly NSFW album cover here) to get you started. Some of them take patience, but once they get going the beats are ridiculous. Just wait til the horns start goin' off. Give 'em all a try, and let me know what you think. I'm still, like, trying to navigate the genre, man.
  • BONUS: I don't know who any of these guys are, but check out some of the names of guys on the Dominican Summer League Reds...Franderlin Romero? Ronald Bueno? Yonatan Suero? Aristides Aquino? I want these guys to pan out purely for the endless fun we humble Farmers Only crew could have with nicknames for these guys. Franderlin Romero has a 0.91 WHIP in 60.2 IP, by the way. TEAM FRANDERLIN!