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Farmers Only: The Knockwurst Returneth

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  • Louisville beat Indian-no-place 7-5 thanks in part to the first twanged chunker in AAA for Henry Rodriguez, whose healed wrist injury does not seem to have sapped his power much. H-Rod went 3-5 on the night, and is a cool 3-6 since being promoted. Sgt. Stache went 3-4 and Kris Negron had two hits and stizole a bizase. J.J. Hoover picked up the win with 2.1 scoreless, and Dojo got the save despite a brief moment of humanity, giving up a harmless ninth inning run. Up next: Tim Gustafson (3-2, 5.28) looks to stop sucking against Toledo at 7:05.
  • Pensacola got 6-hit by Birmingham, losing 6-2. JC Sulburan was hittable but decent in his 6 innings, clogging the bases (get it? He's Dutch) with 3 walks to go along with 6 hits and 3 runs. He struck out 5. Wirfin Obispo coughed up 3 runs in his 2.1 stupid innings. Yordanys Perez snorkled his fourth fluger (I don't think I'm doing this right...) en route to a 2-4 evening, and no other Wahoo had more than one single. Yawn. Up next: Tim Crabbe "and Goyle" (3-5, 4.66) opposes Birmingham at 8.
  • Bakersfield lost to Stockton in a wacky 9th inning, 6-5. The Blaze were up 3-2 coming into the ninth, but Brooks "Four Eyes" Pinckard blew the game. Nerd. Kaiser Knockwurst got back to his honkin' ways, hitting his 14th of the year as part of a 2-5 night. Billy Hamilton makes me repeat myself far too often, but he stole 2 more bags (103 on the year) while going 3-5 with a double, though he did commit his 25th error of the year. Whatevs, he'll burn up the CF grass soon enough. Theo "Huxta-" Bowe continued to enjoy the desert air, going 2-3 with 3 pork ribbies, though he was caught stealing twice. Tanner Robles chucked 6 scoreless, but Justice French's Mustard, who is apparently a reliever now, gave up an unearned run in relief. Up next: Someone will take on San Jose at 7:30 my time.
  • Dayton whupped up on Notre Dame South Bend, winning 11-2. HAHAHAHA just kidding, they got destroyed, 11-2. Did you really think this Dragons team could drop an 11 spot? C'mon. Wes "Mother of Dragons" Mugarian gave up 5 runs in a shade under 5 innings, and El'Hajj Muhammad took a pilgrimmage to Blecha in his 2/3s of an inning, giving up a two-run wanger. Here's something you don't hear every day: Yorman Rodriguez was the lone offensive bright spot, going 3-4 with a double. He's quietly OPSing .757 since the demotion to Dayton, which I'm fine with. Work them kinks out, toolshed. Up next: Stalin Gerson (3-6, 4.78) takes the mound against top prospect Archie Bradley and South Bend at 7:05.
  • Billings beat Helena 7-2, making the most of their 7 hits and 8 walks. Robert Maddox hit his sixth homer of the young season, while new draftees Jeff Gelalich and Seth Mejias-Brean are still looking for their first pro hits. Red Hot Jesse Winker went just 1-5, but made that hit count, as it was a bases-clearing double in the sixth. Starter Ismael Guillon struck out 6 in his 4 scoreless innings, and Carlos Ramos took advantage of the stupidness of the pitcher win stat, getting the W despite giving up 2 runs in 2.2 innings. Up next: Sal "Used Car Salesman" Romano (1-1, 4.09) faces Helena at 7:05 KMiB time.
  • The AZL Reds lost to the AZL Royals, 4-2. The lil Reds only managed 2 hits, none off of starter Aroni Nina. Their two hits came from Jonathan Reynoso and Ty Washington, while Avain Rachal walked twice. Up next: The AZL A's host the Good Guys of Goodyear at 10pm eastern.