Red Reposter - Still trying to find a way to fit "Rolen on the River" and "Old Man River" references into this title

Blog Red Machine attempts to make the case that Scott Rolen should be benched
He's hit poorly so far this season, slashing just .178/.238/.315 in 80 PAs. That's a pretty small sample size though, so much should not be made of it. He didn't fare much better in an injury-beleaguered 2011 season, slashing .242/.279/.397 in 269 PAs. Was 2011 due to injuries and this season due to a slow start, or is there something far more pernicious going on here?

BRM is ready to call it and let Todd Frazier take over at the hot corner. I think the situation is much more complicated than that, though. On numbers alone, I might agree. Rolen has been well below average for a good calendar year now, and Frazier is a logical and seemingly-capable successor. But these are still Scott Rolen's Reds, and as the team leader his value goes a bit beyond his contributions in the box score.

So I guess the question is just how long we can stomach a painfully inept Rolen in the lineup before something is to be done. It's still early in the season, but I think Billy Beane's old adage about the season being split into three distinct two-month sections is appropriate here. If at the end of May Rolen is still hitting below the Mendoza Line, then perhaps we start thinking about a more generous portion of the playing time going to Frazier.

That is, if he's still with the big league team.

Miguel Cairo is on a rehab assignment in Dayton for a few days
and he plans on being a role model to all the young dudes. "When you come back here, you want to make sure the kids watch you work," Cairo said. "I just want to make sure I’m a model for them." Still not sure who he will bump when he comes back, but it will be good to have the Giza Geezer healthy again.

andromache is befuddled by Drew Stubbs
He's clearly struggling so far this season, but there is not obvious reason as to why. His strikeouts are down, but so are his is flyballs and line drives. His BABIP is subsequently down as well. He's not walking at all, either. He's also seeing fewer fastballs, which could be something.

I'm just spitballing here myself, but is it possible that Brook Jacoby and Dusty Baker have drastically changed Stubbs' swing? A few years back, when he was still in the minors, the Reds' brass adjusted his swing in an attempt to cut down his strikeouts. It succeeded, but it also drastically cut down his power, too. Maybe he is consciously being more aggressive at the plate, which, coupled with pitchers throwing him more breaking balls, is swirling into a hurricane of nogoodness?

Homer Bailey is going to be in the Hall of Fame!
"I found out when I was in the training room and the Hall of Fame came in with some baseballs to sign," Bailey said. "It’s pretty neat. I guess there’s worse ways to be in Cooperstown." He and Ryan Dempster celebrated birthdays yesterday, which marked the first time in baseball history that opposing starting pitchers blew out the candles on game day. According to Red Reporter's Math Department, the chances of such an occurrence happening are between 0.27% and 0.00000016%.

The Reds are in Pittsburgh this weekend for a three-game set with the Pirates
Johnny Cueto takes the bump for the Redlegs tonight with the first pitch scheduled for 7:05 PM EDT. "He's going to give you everything he's got every time he goes out there," said right fielder Jay Bruce after Cueto's last start. "It feels good to go out to the game, and watching this guy, you feel like you're going to win. You feel like if you give him the ball, he'll keep you in the game the entire time." Aces.

J.J. Hoover has pitched four big league innings so far, and has yet to give up a run
I like this kid. He says he's still trying to get over the enormity of the occasion, pitching in the big leagues and all, but you wouldn't know it to watch him. His stuff is legit. I don't miss Juan Francisco.

Bobby Abreu has signed up with the Dodgers
I had kinda hoped that maybe possibly the Reds could sign him to be a left-handed bat off the bench, as Willie Harris certainly hasn't impressed in that role so far this season. But whatevs. Bobby gets to stay in LaLaLand and it likely doesn't make much of a difference.