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Farmers Only: Now with Less Bermanisms! Don't Get Used to It...

  • Louisville did its best to cough up the lead, but held on to beat the Tides 6-5. In his first start at AAA, Pedro Villareal gave up 5 runs on 6 hits, though just 2 runs were earned due to a fielding error by the non-awesome Cuban in the organization, Felix Perez (he also went 0-3. #Don'tLetHimStart). Buffalo Bill Rhinehart schblonged a fluger of the solo variety, and Mike Costanzo -- the guy who killed Hitler and punched the creators Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23 in the face -- went 1-3 with an RBI as well. Chris Valaika slapped 2 singles in 4 ABs, but it doesn't really matter because it's Chris Valaika. Up next: Chad Reineke (1-1, 4.13 ERA) faces the Tides at 6:35 at Louisville Slugger Field.
  • Pensacola lost to Mississippi 5-3, as Clayton Tanner and Drew Hayes Mays spoiled a great start from Daniel Corcino. Cuetinho went 6 IP, giving up 2 runs on 6 hits, striking out 7 and walking one. The second run was allowed to score by Tanner, who failed to record an out in relief of Corcino in the 7th, getting tagged with the loss. He got a taste of his own medicine, though, as Drew Hayes #poopsocksed a blown save in relief). Ryan LaMarre Kardashian went 3-3 with a double and 2 RBIs out of the leadoff spot, and he has now hit safely in 8 of his last 9 games. WHOOP! Sure would be nice if he kept that up, eh? Didi Gregorius had another 0-fer, and still has only 1 XBH to his name this year. He's walking and making contact, though, so I'm not worried yet. Up next: The Wahoos hand the ball to Tim Crabbe (1-2, 5.72 ERA) against the Braves in primetime, baby! 8 ET.
  • Bakersfield beat Lancaster 7-4, behind a 4 RBI day from...Bryson Smith?!? Last season's 34th round pick (!!) went 2-3 playing CF, despite being a ginger. He's OPSing a respectable .760 on the year. Starter Daniel Renken left the game with an injury in the 3rd after giving up 2 runs. Tucker Barnhart went 2-4 with 2 RBI, and now has 4 multi-hit games in his last 6, bringing his average above the Mendoza Rolen line for the year. Billy Hamilton is back, and went 2-5 with a steal, bringing his total to 32. Thirty-freakin-two. That's ten less stolen bases than Ryan Ludwick, Scott Rolen, and Chris Heisey have hits. COMBINED. That's 18 more than the Reds have as a team. Da-yum. Up next: The Blaze take on David Lynch's incomprehensible mini-DV opus Inland Empire at 10:05 ET. Griffey Sr. has yet to announce a starter.
  • Dayton lost again, 4-1, to Lake County. They scored only 1 run, again. No Dragon had more than 1 hit. Again. Holy Costanzo, this team is not awesomecornballers. Dragons starter Daniel Tuttle got tossed in second inning after walking back-to-back Captains, which was just about the worst possible thing he could do, considering his team was like, 17 hours removed from 23 innings of baseball. James Allen filled in admirably, giving up just 1 run on 2 hits in 4.2 innings. I can only assume he'll never be the same after this outing and will get overpaid by the Dodgers at some point in the near future. Theo Bowe went 1-2 with a walk out of the 9th spot, and stole his 12th base of the year. It's pretty safe to say that he's in way over his head in this SB bet with Sir Quix-a-Lot. Up next: Game two against Lake County is at 6:30. The Dragons will hand the ball to Tanner Robles (2-1, 2.67 ERA)