Red o' the Week - Jay Bruce is the NL Player of the Week, but is he the Red o' the Week? Well, yes. Probably. I mean, it makes sense, right? Like, the transitive property and such?

Johnny Cueto won a plurality of votes to earn the Red o' the Week honors for week three. Along with the handsome trophy, he will also receive a voucher worth one free sandwich at Stanky's Deli. Red Reporter would like to thank Dan "Ham Sandwich" Stankiewicz, proprietor of Stanky's Deli, for his support and sponsorship. Stanky's Deli: "Come taste this ham!"

This week, well...this week feels like voting is kind of a formality. Like, remember back in 7th grade when you ran for student council vice-president because you thought it would be cool? You didn't really know what student council even did, and you were pretty sure it was all for show. I mean, they always promised longer recesses or better selections in the lunch line, but none of that stuff ever happened. Come on. They were just stupid kids. They couldn't possibly change anything at school. Well, sure, you were just a stupid kid too, but you weren't as stupid as most of the others. Remember Kyle Nolan? That kid used to take a bag of Dorito's to the playground where he would dip them in the mud and then eat them. That kid was stooooooopid. But yeah, you ran for student council because, I don't know, it could be neat.

But it wasn't neat. Aaron Shotwell ran for vice-president too, and he was way more popular than you. You didn't drop out of the race because it was just student council, it wasn't serious or anything. But still, nobody had to vote. Everyone knew what was going to happen.

So yeah, this week kinda feels like Aaron Shotwell is running for vice-president. You can vote if you want to, but we all know what's going to happen here.

Jay Bruce

Jay-Woww went and had himself one darn fine week at the ol' ballpark, earning National League Player of the Week honors. He slashed .476/.542/1.143, hitting honkers in four straight games. He also honked a pair of doubles and walked three times against only five strike outs. Also, at about the 40-second mark on this video, you'll see an amazing display of his arm in the outfield. It was an excellent week for The Bruiser.

Johnny Cueto

Last week's winner earned himself another nomination this week with his performance against the Astros on Saturday. I attended this game with Big Brother Scrabbles, and we were not impressed with Johnny's work for most of the game. He labored hard the whole day, throwing 120 pitches. In the 4th inning, I quipped to big bro that I would be surprised if he were to last more than five. But he hiked up his trousers and tightened his belt, because that's what aces do. He went a strong seven innings without giving up a run. It wasn't pretty, but it was good. Even on his toughest days, he's going to go out there and give you a good outing. Because that's what aces do.

Logan Ondrusek

Three appearances, 3.2 perfect innings. His best work was on Thursday, earning a .247 WPA for his 1.2 scoreless innings against the Giants. He came on in the 7th for a beleaguered Homer Bailey, who had thrown a quality ballgame up to that point. But after he gave up a sac fly to bring the Giants to within one, Ondrusek was called upon to slam the door. With runners on first and second and only one out, Ondrusek induced a pop up and a weak ground ball to get out of the inning.

Joey Votto

I really like this fella. Just another week at the office for Votto, as he slashed .286/.423/.667 while honking five doubles and a wanger. Yesterday's tilt was a particularly good one for him, as he registered a WPA of .502 for the game. His two-run wanger in the 4th tied it at two, and his two-run double in the 7th tied it at five.

So go ahead and cast your vote, and if anyone can come up with a cromulent reason as to why this most prestigious of made-up awards shouldn't go to Jay Bruce I will...well, I'll probably find a way to refute it.