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Red It, Watched It, And Wept - Week of 3/10/12

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"What's a guy gotta do around here to be considered 'Grand' anyways?" (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
"What's a guy gotta do around here to be considered 'Grand' anyways?" (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
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Covering what other writers are too scared too preoccupied with actual news to cover.


Well, exhibition baseball, but it still counts in the sense that we can watch it on the TEEVEE. The Reds began their Grapefruit Cactus League schedule today with a win over the Cleveland Indians at Goodyear Park. The Reds won 8-6 with Dioner telling Cleveland to "suck it" with a home run. Missed today's game? Don't worry, you can catch a bunch of other games streaming online for free at Your bosses can thank the Reds for your drop in productivity later.

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Monday: This Week in Red Reporter History!

As we start the 2012 Cactus League this week, let us look back on our most recent start to a favorable season: 2010. Like this year, the 2010 Reds began their season in Goodyear Park against their co-tenants, the Cleveland Indians. What made this broadcast special? Well, as Slyde pointed out, Thom Brennaman noted that he and his fellow announcers would "be talking about both teams during the entire telecast today." WHAT INSIGHT! What were we drinking during the game? Justin007000, despite a 3PM game time, enjoyed himself with a Goose Iland (SIC) Honker’s Ale. Meanwhile, crofler had some cranberry juice and Sprite that evidently serves as a gateway drink for those who enjoy writing drunk game recaps. Not that this matters, but the Reds lost 9-3 and Slyde introduced a short-lived procedure for game threads:

"We’re going to try to do it differently this year. In order to clear up the clutter, new game threads won’t appear on the front page. We’ll try it out a few times in the spring. Tell me what you think. (I’m not sure I like the idea, but other SBN sites do it and consider it very successful)

New thread:

This was proposed in light of the success (if you can call anything Al Yellon does a success) of said procedure on BleedCubbieBlue. However, as Ash pointed out, "they haven't gotten anything right since 1908."

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Tuesday: Comments of The (Last) Week!


Oh, and annoying threads are annoying.

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Wednesday: Twendsday Twitter Twoundup

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Thursday: Stopping Haters From Actively Hating

We here at RIWIAW try to avoid being political at the risk of offending the two people smarter than us on this site. (FACT: Raven Riley has an IQ of 134). However, when awesome things are done in the name of fighting bigotry, we have to give our props. Cue Dallas and Mat Latos. Both have actively participated in the NOH8 campaign to repeal California's dumb and homophobic (Editor's note: we had to delete several other expletives used by the author) Proposition 8.

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Friday: Doc's Diagnosis - Insufferability

Sometimes, you have to wade through a lot of junk to find important facts. One such example is today's column by Paul Daugherty. After plowing through the hyperbole and played rhetorical devices, the reader comes away from today's article with two things: 1) man, this guy can literally write 500 words about NOTHING and 2) Bronson Arroyo's fastball is back up to 89 MPH after spending 2011 in Kendrick Perkins territory. The latter factoid is great news for Reds fans hoping Bronson returns to the All Star Game without having to pitch to Jay Bruce in the Home Run Derby.

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Saturday: Party Like It's 1999 on Opening Day

The Reds announced this morning that Aaron Boone will be the Grand Marshall of the Opening Day Parade. This comes as great news for those of us who fell in love with the 1999 Reds (in spite of, unfortunately, the pitching). However, the move comes as a personal affront to new Reds reliever Sean Marshall. When asked about how he felt being passed over, he refused to comment to the reporters here at RIWIAW.