Fake Reds re-sign Ryan Madson

Red Reporter's Reds have taken another step toward solidifying their roster, signing Ryan Madson to a one-year, $4 million "do-over" contract. The signing shores up the back end of the bullpen, getting a proven late-inning reliever to replace Aroldis Chapman, who will be joining the rotation.

Madson seemed oddly upset when speaking to reporters about it, but gave terse but positive answers. "Yeah, uh...I'm really happy to get another chance to show Cincinnati what...*gulp*...I can do. I...uh...yeah."

Reds' interim GM Charlie Scrabbles was quoted as saying, "Ryan owes us. Big time. Big. Time. So yeah, I guess he learned that what is good for the Reds is good for him. Ain't that right, Knuckles? Knuckles here is our new...um...bullpen coach. Yeah, our new bullpen coach. He's going to keep an eye on Madson and make sure he doesn't get hurt again. Right, Knuckles?"

The deal leaves the Reds with a bit of wiggle room left in the payroll. With Brandon Phillips off the books, the team now has around $10 million left to spend.