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Red Reporter's Reds acquire Shin-Soo Choo from Let's Go Tribe's Indians

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andromache is totally gonna douggie to some K-pop this afternoon.

Jesse Johnson-US PRESSWIRE

In a trade that literally took, like, all morning to work out, Red Reporter's Reds acquired Shin-Soo Choo and left-handed reliever Nick Hagadone from the Indians for Homer Bailey and and Chris Heisey.

The trade gives the Reds a much-need bat who is able to get on base, as Choo is really, really good at that. He'll slot into the top of the batting order and score a jillion runs in front of Joey Votto. Hagadone will serve as a good, young LOOGy in the bullpen, acting as primary lefty getter-outter while Sean Marshall works in later innings.

It's tough to see Homer on the move, but he was expendable given Aroldis Chapman's move to the rotation. It's been a wild few years watching Homer grow up right along side Red Reporter, but we think this makes the team better for next season. The price of playing the game, I suppose. Ride high in the saddle, Ol' Hoss. Just don't start dominating us in that Ohio Cup thing.