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Scoreboard graphics/copy I'd like to see

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via <a href="http://omgreds.com/uploaded_images/redRace-752936.jpg">omgreds.com</a>
via omgreds.com

Sometimes I get tired of slick, 3D-rendered, HD scoreboard sequences. Keep the Scoreboard Weird.

A retro version of the Mr. Red race

When: Once per game

Why: Nostalgia

"Walks = exorcised"

Retro "Walks Will Haunt" Graphic with retro Priest helping Ghosts to "cross over"

When: Whenever a high-BB Reds pitcher has a game of 3 BB or less

Why: So everyone can conquer their demons

Hit it a lot! hit it a ton! Let's get 2/3 of a run!

When: Whenever the Reds load the bases.

Why: Because it's true.

VOTTOCRACY

Video sequence with fake Vottocratic People's Republic flag and vaguely Soviet-style Votto inconograpy

When: Any time Joey does something cool

Why: Maybe he'll stay after '13?

"No homebody hook-up"

A request to please return the ball Brandon Phillips just hit into the crowd. 

When: If Brandon Phillips hits a landmark home-run

Why: Fun

Cueto: ERA* Champ

A passive aggressive info-graphic about how Cueto should really just be the 2011 ERA Champ if the MLB wasn't so uptight I mean 150+ inning - that's a lot of innings, yea?

When: Cueto starts

Why: Stick it to the stat man

"Do as I SAY not as I DO"

Short video clip of Mike Leake (or CGI Mike Leake)

When: Whenever someone steals a base on Mike Leake

Why: Because it's a terrible idea

Francisco Giant Splash Hits Meter 

Why: He hit one OUT of the park, to kind of make fun of the Giants

When: If he ever does it again

A "radar gun" read-out that always reports Chapman's speed in excess of 105 mph

When: Any Chapman pitch

Why: Intimidation, humor

A formula for run expectancy

When: Every time there's a bunt

Why: For the nerds

A clip from the British Office, edited slightly to say "I've been made 'Redon-dant!"

When: Whenever Jose Aredondo strikes someone out

Why: I enjoy The British Office and Jose Arredondo's pitching

Chew on that, C.H.U.D.-ley

When: Whenever Chase Utley makes an out.

Why: Because maybe a reference to this movie, with complementary graphic, is weird enough to throw the Phillies off their Reds-crushing rhythmn.

Horst' 'em on their own PETARD!

When: Whenever Jeremy Horst enters the game

Why: Because "Horse" homonyms are played-out

A montage of Jay Bruce getting clutch hits, culminating in his division-clinching HR from 2010

When: Whenever 

Why: To combat Jay's unclutch stigma