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E pluribus redus reportum: Thinking of a new Red Reporter tag-line

There's nothing wrong with our current tagline (or anything associated with Red Reporter, in perpetuity throughout the universe). It describes the site pretty accurately in its pun on the "issues" we deal with here.  But I felt like it was time for a change. Or at least for a diversion in the waning days of the season. I can only guess at whether Yonder Alonso's LF defense is worse than Adam Dunn's, circa Nationals era, for so long before I absent-mindedly start to crush the change I'm holding into souvenirs. Which is actually somewhat profitable.

I thought I'd put it to the Red Reporter reading audience to think of a new one. Throw out some suggestions in this thread and I'll put 4-6 into a later poll for a vote.

Some of the best slogans from from films and advertising campaigns are both descriptive and at least a little absurdist:

  • Breakfast of Champions - Wheaties
  • We try harder - Avis
  • "Due to the horrifying nature of this film, no one will be admitted to the theatre" (Schlock, 1973)
  • "Science created him. Now Chuck Norris must destroy him." (Silent Rage, 1982)
  • "Be All That Someone Else Can Be" (Being John Malkovich, 1999)