Game 78: Reds @ Orioles

While the Pirates have set the Tin Standard for futility over the last roughly decade and a half - whenever the Reds tied them in the standings or even just lost a game or two to them, it was a sure sign of bad mojo - they may now have upgraded to Copper Standard of NL Central Mediocrity. Entering today, the Reds were tied for 3rd place with the Buccos, 3 games back of the division-leading Brewers. The Reds continue to light up the "back luck indicators," which include underachieving their Pythag (42-35), high team WAR despite a 39-38 record and higher-than-average LOB-per-game (7.18).

It's frustrating to watch this team continue to hover around .500. But at least the list of problem areas is pretty-well defined. In the addition to bad luck, the Reds should also avoid:

• Playing American League teams (2-8 record)
• Letting the difference in score reach 1.0 runs late in the game (11-16 in one-run games)
• Playing more than 9 innings per game (4-4 record, but 1-6 in games following an extra inning affair)
• Letting Edinson Volquez pitch in the 1st, 2nd or 6th innings
  Ground rule doubles with a runner on 2nd base
• Getting into a negative "head space"
• Bogus vibes
• High-fructose "porn syrup"
• Not hitting home runs, triples, grand slams
• Losing

There's always hope in Bronson, who in his last last two starts has helped deliver a win on the heels of a loss. I know this is junk statistics and nowhere close to a trend, but I've come to depend on Arroyo for a pick-me-up. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that he has a Shephard Fairey-style "HOPE" tattoo somewhere around his bathing suit area, near the spot where I have my Arroyo tattoo. We're still at the point in the season where a good, 8 IP start can dramatically alter the perception of a pitcher's season. And mid-summer is generally when the cultures in the Arroyogurt start to activate.

While we're busting bad trends, last night's double was Votto's first extra base hit in 11 games. Let's hope that's the start of something good. As we all know, slump-bustin' is aided by move-bustin', so cast your vote for Brandon Phillips' Red Reporter-approved walk-up song below.