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Red Reposter - Bangin' 7-gram rocks and finishin' 'em, 'cause that's how we roll

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  • The more things change, the more Charlie Sheen stays the same
    In the wake of Charlie Sheen's interview that launched a million twitter hashtags, John Erardi throws the switch on the wayback machine and takes us back to when the story broke of Sheen's infamous party with the 1990 Reds.

    "In 1990, the real-life Sheen was sitting on the Reds’ bench in LA before a game with the Dodgers. He was wearing a Reds’ uniform with his Wild Thing number, 99, on his back. Lou Piniella, then manager of the Reds, happened by. "Hi, Lou," said Sheen. "Hi, how ya’ doin’?" said Piniella. Moments later, out of the earshot of Sheen, Piniella asked a baseball writer covering the team, "Who in the (bleep) was that?" Told it was Charlie Sheen, Piniella said, "Who’s Charlie Sheen?"

  • Tim Dierkes at MLBTR reviews the Reds off-season
    Nothing really new here, but it's still a nice summation of the past few months. "Payroll aside, the Reds did not need to tinker much with the NL's best offense. They're bringing back a similar group, with plenty of upside for players like Bruce and Drew Stubbs. Replacing Harang with a young in-house starting pitcher is an upgrade, especially if Homer Bailey's late-season success carries over. The team is overly enamored with Arroyo and the Votto extension was player-friendly, but the painful aspects of those contracts will be realized after 2011. The 2011 Reds are short on new faces, which is a positive in their case."

  • While MLBTR is doing reviews
    FanGraphs is all about previews. Albert Lyu sees Drew Stubbs as your lead-off hitter, Jose Arredondo starting in AAA, and the Travis Wood/Mike Leake competition as yet too close to call. No real surprises here either. He sees Jay Bruce as the straw that stirs the drink, which is likely a view shared by most folks around here. Here's the money quote: "From 1 to 7, this is a very good lineup that will match up against any in the NL." Bring it on.

  • You know the way Jonny Gomes yanks his helmet around before every pitch?
    They got a bobblehead for that. Red Hot Mama has the pics to prove it. Now if they could just get a Jay Bruce bobblehead with a spring-loaded left arm that spasms up over his head before every pitch, we'd have 2/3 of an outfield represented by idiosyncratic bobbleheads.

  • Homer Bailey is a fountain of baseball cliches
    But that doesn't mean he's wrong. "I want to stay healthy," he said. "That's all you can hope for. I don't think you ever stop learning. With the young guys we have, we're always trying to improve, always trying to get better.  I think everybody's excited this year after the playoff run we had.  We have unfinished business. We know what it takes to get to October. It's a matter of taking care of ourselves and preparing for the year ahead."

    You think Homer reads Red Reporter? Just a few days ago some questioned his willingness to learn and listen to others and here he is giving the standard "humble student of the game" speech. Of course, it could just be a cover. Say the right things and keep them off your back, and all. No matter how he does it, I just want him to be a stud.

  • On behalf of all the citizens of these United States of America
    please join me in welcoming Ramon Hernandez to the country. Ramon took his citizenship exam earlier this week and officially became a citizen of this great nation. "I already live here and I have my life here," Hernandez said. "My kids are U.S. citizens and my wife is a U.S. citizen. I'm the only one left. I feel like I've got to do it because I live here." Congratulations, Monie.

  • Beyond the Boxscore does what should have been a long time ago
    You know all those crazy, new-fangled stats like wOBA, BABIP, UZR, and so on? Just how in the hell are you supposed to say those things out loud? Of course, so few of us converse about these things in an audible medium, but in the off chance you run into a fellow baseball nerd in real life and cannot resist the urge to discuss the disparities between Brandon Phillips' UZR and TZ numbers, this handy guide will ensure you won't sound like an idiot while doing so.

  • Fred Mitchell of Chicago Breaking Sports has a piece of extended Marty Brennaman quotes
    Marty has never been shy about voicing his disdain for Chicago in general and the Cubs in particular, so many of the Windy City faithful are taking his opinion that the Cubs are "not good enough" this year as the ramblings a spiteful old codger. Mitchell does well to refrain from editorializing in this piece, as he basically just presents the quotes straight from Marty. Of course, who could resist digging up this gem of a quote from Marty in 2008:

    "This is the kind of thing, quite honestly, right now, that makes you want to see the Chicago Cubs team lose. Among all baseball fans, and I can't attest to the Yankees or Red Sox, because we don't see them with any degree of regularity unless it's inter-league play, but far and away the most obnoxious fans in baseball, in this league, are those who follow this team right here. Throwing 15 or 18 balls onto the field, there's absolutely no excuse for that, and that is so typical of Chicago Cubs fans. It's unbelievable. "You simply root against 'em. You know, I've said all winter they talked about this team winning the division, and my comment is they won't win it, because at the end of the day, they still are the Chicago Cubs, and they will figure out a way to screw this whole thing up."

    The Cubs went on to win 97 games and the NL Central that year, but were swept in the first round by the Dodgers. Keep f***ing that chicken, Chicago!