RR management is out of the office today, so this is going to be an abbreviated recap. Feel free to point out everything I failed to mention in the comments.
Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Stars of the Game
I'm going to have to give this to two: Drew Stubbs (3 HRs!) and Paul Janish (4 for 4 with a HR!). But nobody was really bad offensively today. Every offensive starter except Joey Votto (got ejected after one AB) and Miguel Cairo, who at least reached base with a walk.