Bill Kostroun/AP (Belisle), Mark J. Terrill/AP (Billingsley)
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All I asked for on my birthday was a win from the Reds. And a pony. And a trampoline. And a sit-n-spin. And one of those water guns that shoots water like 50 feet. And an anti-gravity device. And my very own smoke monster. And a city to be named after me. And a foam "We're #1" finger. That's all.