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An open thread for the rest of us: "I've got a lot of problems with you people!"

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Happy Festivus, RRs!  Since Red Reporter has no official religious affiliation, it would only be prudent that we celebrate the greatest of non-affiliated late December holidays.  If you're not familiar with Festivus, the traditions are below:

The Festivus Pole:

For Reds fans, this is easy:

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Done.

The Festivus Dinner:

For the Festivus Dinner, one ingredient stands out as sacred to Red Reporter, and it seems fitting that our Festivus dinner should be focused around it.  That thing:

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Bacon.  As our resident connoisseur on the subject jch24 would surely attest, one trend in recent memory is challenging jch to make/eat cardiac arrest inducing bacon related items.  Slyde's latest challenge involves making this and eating it, but I found one that I think may trump it.  Behold, this masterpiece:

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Check out that bad boy.  Anyone brave enough to try that (and take pictures) gets some kind of prize that I haven't thought of yet.  Probably a bottle of pepto.

Feats of Strength:

This is kind of tough to do, because this is a blog and most of us spend too much time in our parents' basements to develop any physical strength.  And since I tend to be a numbers oriented guy, I'm suggesting the best strength related statistic I could find: how many 5-year olds you can take in a fight.  Post your results below, so we can find the strongest RR.  I had 22, which probably makes me a gigantic baby, but it's not I'm about to run into a swarm of 5-year olds in my parents' basement, so I think I'm safe.

Airing of Grievances:

Use this thread to air your grievances about the Reds, this website (no personal attacks, or you're dead), or the world in general!  Here are mine:

  • I don't like that John Fay has narrowed down the Reds' outfield acquisition to three names: Baldelli, Hairston, and Taveras.  None of those three guys probably deserve an everyday strarting job; I think Hairston is a utility guy at best (albeit a good one), Baldelli is probably a platoon guy, unless he shows he can come back from his injuries to produce at a high level, and Taveras freakin' STINKS!
  • I don't like how he also suggests that the Reds would be better off standing pat without those three.  I'm not saying they should go out and sign or trade for a huge superstar player, but any team that goes into the season with Norris Hopper as a starter isn't winning many games.
  • I don't like Adam Dunn bashers.
  • I don't like it when people don't use the reply button.

Oh yeah, and if you post saying "I don't like <insert poster here>", expect your comment to be deleted.  This isn't a site where people do that, and I don't think anyone wants it to start now.  Most of these should be directed at Reds-related things, as this is a Reds-related site, and let's try to keep politics and religion out of it.  If you want to talk about how much you hate someone's religion or political stance, go somewhere else.

And finally, if someone else signs Willy Taveras today, it will surely be a Festivus miracle!  Happy holidays, RR!