Remember all those "rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic" jokes that were made after the Reds DFA'd D'Angelo Jimenez?
They're looking a bit ironic now that we learn this:
The Reds' 2005 season has become a lot like a season of "The Sopranos." You never know who will be the next to get whacked.
On Tuesday, it wasn't a matter of "who," but "what," as manager Dave Miley had the two Sharper Image massage chairs owned by outfielders Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey Jr. removed from the clubhouse.
"I don't know where they're hiding it," Dunn said of his chair. "I need it, though. My back hurts. It's therapeutic. That's what they're there for."
What followed for Dunn was an equally therapeutic lament over the loss of his beloved chair. The big left fielder looked as though he didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Poor little guy," he said, looking at the spot where the chair once sat. "He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't complain. He just came to play every day."
"So now we're going to start winning," he said. "It was the chair's fault."
Griffey, who had just bought his chair over the weekend, decided not to comment.
That's OK, though. Because Dunn had plenty to say.
He was asked if the chair was also designated for assignment, giving the club 10 days to trade, release or outright it to the Minors.
"He probably wants to be traded," Dunn replied with a laugh.
Though a tad distraught, Dunn found humor in the situation.
"And we even won last night," he said. "Imagine if we would have lost. I might not have a glove."
Dunn's a funny guy. It's a shame he'll be bolting the first chance he gets to file for free agency.
I've never seen this team so poorly managed in my life. Now granted I'm only 23 years old, but this is worse than Bob Boone, worse than Ray Knight, and this entire situation is worse than anything Jim Bowden ever did.
Ken Griffey Jr. is a future HOF. He works hard, probably harder than anyone on the team. There was an article last week about only three players taking extra batting practice, and Ken Griffey Jr. was one of them.
Adam Dunn is one of the very few bright spots we've had in 2005. His OPS stands at 1.055, fourth in the National League.
And Dave Miley wants to make a point by punishing these two?
The chairs aren't the problem Dave. How hard the players work probably isn't the problem either. The problem isn't their attitudes.
The problem is that Dan O'Brien has put together a severely below average team. The problem is also that you've done everything possible to make it even worse, from playing Rich Aurilia at shortstop to (lately) sitting Ryan Freel in favor of guys like William Bergolla.
The problem right now is talent. The Reds don't have much of it, especially in the pitching department.
Becoming a hard ass isn't going to magically make Eric Milton an ace, whatever Dave Miley might think.
The Cincinnati Reds need a regime change.