Wake up, Red Reporters!

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 5, 2007 12:13 PM EDT Comment 91 comments

We've got a game in an hour!

Bronson Arroyo vs. Tom Gorzelanny

Here is the Reds' lineup (courtesy of C Trent):

Hopper cf
Keppinger lf
Griffey rf
Phillips 2b
Conine 1b
Encarnacion 3b
Gonzalez ss
Ross c
Arroyo p

The rotation after the day off is Harang, Dumatrait and Belisle

And here's a jumping little non-sequiter to help get you goin' this Sunday morn.

0 recs | Comment 91 comments

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Hot Damn!

First!

"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball" - Pete Rose

by Officer Dibble on Aug 5, 2007 12:31 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I'm so stoked...

take it easy, bro

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 12:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

i am at ease, bro

cuz i am not in the military

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 1:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

What a fucking joke.

Dunn has homered in three straight games and he's on the bench while Jeff Conine and Norris Hopper are in the game. Fucking pathetic.

by Geki on Aug 5, 2007 1:08 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I bet Arroyo

is seething with this lineup, especially trying to rebound from his last start.

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If we have to have Conine

Why do we have to have him batting fifth? Of course, I guess that's an improvement from when he was batting cleanup in his last appearance.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Mackanin

is saying that he doesn't want a "tough lefty" to get Dunn out of his rhythm. Of course.

by ken on Aug 5, 2007 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The only thing to beat a tough lefty

Is an incompetent, feeble old righty. That Mackanin is a genius, I tells ya!

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:27 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

It's called "playing the percentages"

It's what smart managers do to win ball games.

by ken on Aug 5, 2007 1:31 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The Reds have only allowed

Dunn 3 PAs against Gorzelanny this year. 0 for 2 with a walk.

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 1:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

But Dunn's hit home runs in the last three games!

He should be very proud.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

i cant believe

i actually woke up to this message. fuck you alan

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 1:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

With that picture

I was kind of expecting "Zombie" by the Cranberries. Or maybe "Rooster" by Alice in Chains in honor Bronson. Dig Rivers's bowl cut though.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:15 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

dont you love

how the drunmmer ruined a really cool video by behaving like a preeb?

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You probably don't like

when he escaped from Miss Piggy, either.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I love the drummer in that video

It was the first video I can recall that really punctuated the slacker attitude towards music videos, i.e. not even pretending to play their instruments for half the video.

The Who sort of did the same thing on the Smothers Brothers show, but obviously it was a different era and in a different context.

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah...

Still waiting for Pat Wilson to take out Brian Bell with an exploding drum kit. Deafening! Although if it was ever going to happen, that Muppet video would have been the perfect time.

Better drummer: Keith Moon or Animal?

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:38 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Animal had the longer career

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Also

The Who is a great name, but the Electric Mayhem is a better name.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

rain delay - doesn't look like stopping.

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 1:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Is it raining in Pittsburgh?

What's the delay?

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

That extra six seconds makes me feel like a fool

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

as you should

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

...yes'm

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Rain delay youtubing

I remember seeing this video (along with "Undone") late one night on MTV wedged in between stuff from Alice in Chains and Soundgarden and thinking, Wow, I didn't know there could be music like this.

After that, all the grunge stuff sounded stale and self-important.

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 2:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I'm tryin', I'm tryin', I'm tryin', I'm tryin'

But the video isn't loading. I'm pretty certain that has more to do with my computer than the page or the link though.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Youtube was down earlier

Dad they broke me; Dad they broke me.

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Trent says it's pouring

He doesn't think they'll play. Reds go to PNC again August 28, and both teams have an off day August 27, so...

If anyone's interested in the Bats game (free audio here), it's Kirk Saarloos on the mound.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

speaking of Weezer videos

Anyone remember when Buddy Holly was the sample video that came with Windows 95? To me that video will always mean "Oh my God I'm watching a movie on a computer!"

Reeeddd Men-ace

by Red Menace on Aug 5, 2007 2:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Hamilton

Trent says they expect him to be ready to start a rehab assignment Tuesday.

Trent also reports that when Griffey heard Dunn would be getting today off, he accused Dunn and Mackanin of "certain improprieties together."

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

"certain improprieties together"?

Like insider trading?

"The revolution will not be televised....at least out of market" -- Brendanukkah

by jch24 on Aug 5, 2007 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I dunno

I was thinking more along the lines of wearing white shoes before Memorial Day.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

eep! don't say such things!

(faints)

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

How does one treat the vapors?

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women

no sin no fun no you.

no wonder it's dark.

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 2:47 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Touche :)

Any songs about turning Korean?

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I hope this gets rained out.

Then we can go ahead and not put Dunn on the fucking bench.

by Geki on Aug 5, 2007 2:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Did someone say "fucking bench"?

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 5, 2007 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

in fact

I think that was a piece of paraphernalia seized from Michael Vick's house.

Reeeddd Men-ace

by Red Menace on Aug 5, 2007 2:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

In honor of The Ten opening this weekend

That ain't a fucking bench, that's a looooooove seat.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 2:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Bruce almost went deep in his first AB

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 2:28 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Great story

from Trent:

Rain delay did help one thing -- just talked to Georgia baseball coach David Perno for my off-day story on Tuesday. It was awesome. He gave me some great stuff. This story may or may not make it into the story, but thought it was interesting. Perno signed a hot-shot shortstop from Stone Mountain, Ga., and the kid thought he'd come right in and take over at short. Perno, even though he hadn't signed him yet, told him he'd be at second until his current shortstop left. 'You're not beating out Keppinger,' Perno said, knowing exactly what kind of competitor he had in Keppinger. That hot-shot? Brandon Phillips.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

i sounds like one of those -

"and now you know....the ...rest...of the story."

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

"And to you, Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American...

"I say, good day."

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Game banged

Expect a makeup doubleheader later this month.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

mmm a game bang

sounds nice

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 3:03 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Votto homers

He's been a slump, but maybe he's coming out of it.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:57 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Wow

Plenty of minor league baseball on GameDay audio today. The Bats and Lookouts are on right now, Sarasota starts at 4:05, and Billings starts at 6:05. Dayton plays at 7, but it's not on.

"I'm just like everybody else. I have two arms, two legs, and four-thousand hits." - Pete Rose

by BK on Aug 5, 2007 3:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

hey d

did you hear about this....

http://www.nationalsenquirer.com/2007/08/enquirer-exclus.html

the nats were gonna start their presidential bobblehead series last night, and apparently they ordered leatherpants dolls instead of thomas jefferson. is this true? can it be confirmed?

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 6:11 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

actually

tj was the second in the series, but im starting to think the jim bowden rumor isnt true. can anyone confirm/deny?

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 6:22 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm guessing

that's a joke by that blogger...

by Gray on Aug 5, 2007 8:51 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

maybe it's satire?

if so, it's not very good satire. just sayin.

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

the site is "nationals enquirer"

they do a lot of fake stories like the national enquirer. some are pretty funny.

I love the Reds no matter what!

by Daedalus on Aug 5, 2007 10:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

but why do they mix those in

with real stories? Shouldnt it be clearer that it's not real? Shouldnt good satire smack you in the face?

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 11:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Boobs..

..You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 5, 2007 11:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

well probably

but blogs are living organisms that mutate with every chemical reaction induced by baseball, esp. bad baseball. tough to find the inspiration to be witty when your team sux sometimes.

I love the Reds no matter what!

by Daedalus on Aug 5, 2007 11:50 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

understood

i probably shouldnt attack people who are doing something creative and productive anyway. good for them in that regard.

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 6, 2007 12:27 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I didn't notice this until reading an AP writeup, but Dunn was actually benched for, well, pick one: Keppinger or Hopper. This would have been Keppinger's first career start in the outfield, since Freel is listed as day-to-day (with Pete not ruling out another trip to the DL).

Huh.

Actually, I guess Pete wouldn't dare play Keppinger in center, so that would mean that Dunn was to be benched for Keppinger. Uh, sure.

by Gray on Aug 5, 2007 6:20 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

what's wrong with Freel?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 7:34 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

i guess he doesnt freel good

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 7:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

groan

Apparently, it's his knee. I didn't realize he left the game Thursday due to injury.

FWIW, Kepp was going to start in LF if the game was played. He's been playing outfield pretty regularly for Louisville.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 7:58 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Great home run call

In that song. I think George Grande should start using it:

Oh no
It go
It gone
Bye bye (bye)!

"Players have two things to do. Play and keep their mouths shut." -Sparky Anderson

by boohiss on Aug 5, 2007 7:45 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Soriano

Yikes. He pulled a hammy or something halfway between 2nd and 3rd. Out at third to end the inning, because he could only hop to 3B.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 9:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Soriano has a quad strain

Even worse than a hammy.

Kerry Wood is on the mound now...

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 10:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

There was no Reds baseball today.

But there was this.

And this.

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 6, 2007 12:24 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Ichiro

One of his more famous quotes is apropos today:

"Kansas City in August is hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock."

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 6, 2007 6:42 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

that's Ichiro

and all this time I'd been ascribing that to Cody Hicks during junior high football two-a-days in 1993.

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 6, 2007 10:43 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

The more I read/hear about Ichiro...

The more I like him.

"Forgive me, I was just a curious 18-year old."

Classic.

"The revolution will not be televised....at least out of market" -- Brendanukkah

by jch24 on Aug 6, 2007 8:33 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

the fay blew my mind

http://frontier.cincinnati.com/blogs/redsinsider/2007/08/dunn-deal.asp#comments

he actually compares dunn to comparable (but worse) free agents and shows how relatively cheap he really is. And he uses OPS. Wow, Fay.

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 6, 2007 6:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Fay just blew me as well

I'm reading his chart thinking, "Yeah, but Soriano and Lee signed LTCs so it's unfair to just list their yearly salary." Then he points that out at the end. Well done, sir.

If he could figure out < code > he's really be onto something.

Reeeddd Men-ace

by Red Menace on Aug 6, 2007 7:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

He blew you, eh?

by Gray on Aug 6, 2007 7:33 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Heh heh heh

by Gray on Aug 6, 2007 7:34 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Anybody watching Bonds?

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 6, 2007 11:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Me

I'm back and forth between the computer and the TV.

"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Aug 6, 2007 11:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If you wanted an update

0-1, foul out to Zimmerman in the 1st. He'll bat 2nd next inning.

"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Aug 6, 2007 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Thanks. I saw it.

Nice snag my Zim'.

Thanks for letting me know he's due up soon.

Now I know that I've got about six minutes to get the wife away from nationally televised critical analysis of Aerosmith videos-- otherwise known as VH1.

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 6, 2007 11:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Now, you see....

What Steven Tyler is exploring here is the dichotomy of livin' it up while going down symbolized, of course, by the elevator on the one hand and the dirty skank willing to bang you in said elevator on the other. Brilliant songwriting. Poetry, really.

"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Aug 6, 2007 11:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

It was good for one laugh..

..The dude from the band Modern English commenting on Burger King using his song Melt With You to pitch their sammiches: "Well, I'm a vegan but they gave me $20,000."

I did get the channel changed and I've gotta say that young John Lannen has some pretty good control. He knows he wants the ball eight inches off the plate and that's where he's putting it. Nearly. Every. Time.

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 6, 2007 11:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

2nd PA

Walk on 5 pitches. I thought he took strike 2 there. I'll be watching the rest of the game from bed.

"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Aug 6, 2007 11:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

ack!

Dane Cook is trying to sell me October Baseball for some reason.

Reeeddd Men-ace

by Red Menace on Aug 6, 2007 11:22 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Menace, you're already sold.

He's trying to sell Crolfer some October baseball.

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 6, 2007 11:27 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Dunn and 1B

does anyone think we'll see a new movement for Dunn to move to 1B this spring, because Jay Bruce will be ready to move into an outfield spot, thus maximizing our offensive potential?

by Blue on Aug 7, 2007 1:16 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Well since Joey V is not coming up why not?

"Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed." -Tug McGraw

by Zach K on Aug 7, 2007 11:29 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Joey V

hasn't played well enough to deserve to come up and be a starting 1B on a major league team. He just hasn't put up good enough numbers against AAA pitching.

Bruce, on the other hand, has destroyed pitching at 3 levels this season, including AAA. I know who I'd want in my lineup.

by Blue on Aug 7, 2007 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

huh?

Votto is hitting .294/.388/.459 with 15 homers and 66 RBI in 394 ABs. I'm not sure how "good" you want him to be. He had a slow start in April and he's hit another slump in the last couple of weeks, but he hit .402/.496/.618 in May and .317/.387/.482 in June.

I love the Reds no matter what!

by Daedalus on Aug 7, 2007 1:14 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

actually

he slugged .442 in June, and an OPS of .829 isn't going to get it done at 1B. May has been his only adequate month.

by Blue on Aug 7, 2007 7:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, but this is the Reds

We're currently platooning Hatteberg and Conine there. I like Scott, but his OPS is only about .878 right now - with an SLG that's about 30 points higher than he's ever slugged before, and 60 points higher than his career average.

Conine... is batting better than Ross.

I mean, it'd be nice if Hatteberg and Votto batted opposite, because we could pick up Scotty's option and platoon them a bit at 1st. But there aren't a whole lot of options for us. Picking up a power bat this offseason will NOT come cheap, and we will almost certainly not be able to grab a good pitcher if we do.

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 8, 2007 8:55 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

that's why

I suggest moving Dunn to 1B, and bringing up Bruce.

by Blue on Aug 8, 2007 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

True I rather have a 37 year old and 40 year old..

at 1B anyway

"Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed." -Tug McGraw

by Zach K on Aug 7, 2007 2:52 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If the Reds sign Dunn for '08..

..and then kinda sorta play to the middle of the season with one eye on the trade market, then I doubt that you would see Dunn play first base where he would do little to improve his value.

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 7, 2007 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs