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Wake up, Red Reporters!

Dump_11_may_096_tiny by Fat Vegas Alan on

We've got a game in an hour!

Bronson Arroyo vs. Tom Gorzelanny

Here is the Reds' lineup (courtesy of C Trent):

Hopper cf
Keppinger lf
Griffey rf
Phillips 2b
Conine 1b
Encarnacion 3b
Gonzalez ss
Ross c
Arroyo p

The rotation after the day off is Harang, Dumatrait and Belisle

And here's a jumping little non-sequiter to help get you goin' this Sunday morn.

0 recs | Comment 91 comments

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Hot Damn!
First!
"I'd walk through hell in a gasoline suit to play baseball" - Pete Rose

by Officer Dibble on Aug 5, 2007 12:31 PM EDT   0 recs

I'm so stoked...
take it easy, bro
"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 12:39 PM EDT   0 recs

i am at ease, bro
cuz i am not in the military
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 1:12 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

What a fucking joke.
Dunn has homered in three straight games and he's on the bench while Jeff Conine and Norris Hopper are in the game. Fucking pathetic.

by Geki on Aug 5, 2007 1:08 PM EDT   0 recs

I bet Arroyo
is seething with this lineup, especially trying to rebound from his last start.
"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 1:11 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

If we have to have Conine
Why do we have to have him batting fifth?  Of course, I guess that's an improvement from when he was batting cleanup in his last appearance.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:14 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Mackanin
is saying that he doesn't want a "tough lefty" to get Dunn out of his rhythm.  Of course.

by ken on Aug 5, 2007 1:26 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

The only thing to beat a tough lefty
Is an incompetent, feeble old righty.  That Mackanin is a genius, I tells ya!

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:27 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

It's called "playing the percentages"
It's what smart managers do to win ball games.

by ken on Aug 5, 2007 1:31 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

The Reds have only allowed
Dunn 3 PAs against Gorzelanny this year. 0 for 2 with a walk.
"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 1:36 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

i cant believe
i actually woke up to this message. fuck you alan
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 1:12 PM EDT   0 recs

With that picture
I was kind of expecting "Zombie" by the Cranberries.  Or maybe "Rooster" by Alice in Chains in honor Bronson.  Dig Rivers's bowl cut though.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:15 PM EDT   0 recs

dont you love
how the drunmmer ruined a really cool video by behaving like a preeb?
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 1:21 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

You probably don't like
when he escaped from Miss Piggy, either.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:26 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

I love the drummer in that video
It was the first video I can recall that really punctuated the slacker attitude towards music videos, i.e. not even pretending to play their instruments for half the video.

The Who sort of did the same thing on the Smothers Brothers show, but obviously it was a different era and in a different context.

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 1:30 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Yeah...
Still waiting for Pat Wilson to take out Brian Bell with an exploding drum kit.  Deafening!  Although if it was ever going to happen, that Muppet video would have been the perfect time.

Better drummer: Keith Moon or Animal?

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:38 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Animal had the longer career
"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 1:39 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Also
The Who is a great name, but the Electric Mayhem is a better name.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 1:42 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

rain delay - doesn't look like stopping.
Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 1:39 PM EDT   0 recs

Rain delay youtubing
I remember seeing this video (along with "Undone") late one night on MTV wedged in between stuff from Alice in Chains and Soundgarden and thinking, Wow, I didn't know there could be music like this.

After that, all the grunge stuff sounded stale and self-important.

"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 2:01 PM EDT   0 recs

I'm tryin', I'm tryin', I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
But the video isn't loading.  I'm pretty certain that has more to do with my computer than the page or the link though.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 2:20 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Youtube was down earlier
Dad they broke me; Dad they broke me.
"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 2:26 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Trent says it's pouring
He doesn't think they'll play.  Reds go to PNC again August 28, and both teams have an off day August 27, so...

If anyone's interested in the Bats game (free audio here), it's Kirk Saarloos on the mound.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:12 PM EDT   0 recs

speaking of Weezer videos
Anyone remember when Buddy Holly was the sample video that came with Windows 95? To me that video will always mean "Oh my God I'm watching a movie on a computer!"
Reeeddd Men-ace

by Red Menace on Aug 5, 2007 2:12 PM EDT   0 recs

Hamilton
Trent says they expect him to be ready to start a rehab assignment Tuesday.  

Trent also reports that when Griffey heard Dunn would be getting today off, he accused Dunn and Mackanin of "certain improprieties together."

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:19 PM EDT   0 recs

"certain improprieties together"?
Like insider trading?
"The revolution will not be televised....at least out of market" -- Brendanukkah

by jch24 on Aug 5, 2007 2:23 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

I dunno
I was thinking more along the lines of wearing white shoes before Memorial Day.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:32 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

eep! don't say such things!
(faints)
Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 2:33 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
no sin no fun no you.

no wonder it's dark.

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 2:47 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Touche :)
Any songs about turning Korean?

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 2:51 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

I hope this gets rained out.
Then we can go ahead and not put Dunn on the fucking bench.

by Geki on Aug 5, 2007 2:24 PM EDT   0 recs

Did someone say "fucking bench"?
Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 5, 2007 2:25 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

in fact
I think that was a piece of paraphernalia seized from Michael Vick's house.
Reeeddd Men-ace

by Red Menace on Aug 5, 2007 2:28 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

In honor of The Ten opening this weekend
That ain't a fucking bench, that's a looooooove seat.

by Brendanukkah on Aug 5, 2007 2:28 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Bruce almost went deep in his first AB
"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 5, 2007 2:28 PM EDT   0 recs

Great story
from Trent:
Rain delay did help one thing -- just talked to Georgia baseball coach David Perno for my off-day story on Tuesday. It was awesome. He gave me some great stuff. This story may or may not make it into the story, but thought it was interesting. Perno signed a hot-shot shortstop from Stone Mountain, Ga., and the kid thought he'd come right in and take over at short. Perno, even though he hadn't signed him yet, told him he'd be at second until his current shortstop left. 'You're not beating out Keppinger,' Perno said, knowing exactly what kind of competitor he had in Keppinger. That hot-shot? Brandon Phillips.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:35 PM EDT   0 recs

i sounds like one of those -
"and now you know....the ...rest...of the story."
Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk.

by andromache on Aug 5, 2007 2:36 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Game banged
Expect a makeup doubleheader later this month.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:39 PM EDT   0 recs

mmm a game bang
sounds nice
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 3:03 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Votto homers
He's been a slump, but maybe he's coming out of it.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 2:57 PM EDT   0 recs

Wow
Plenty of minor league baseball on GameDay audio today.  The Bats and Lookouts are on right now, Sarasota starts at 4:05, and Billings starts at 6:05.  Dayton plays at 7, but it's not on.
"I'm just like everybody else. I have two arms, two legs, and four-thousand hits." - Pete Rose

by BK on Aug 5, 2007 3:19 PM EDT   0 recs

hey d
did you hear about this....

http://www.nationalsenquirer.com/2007/08/enquirer-exclus.html

the nats were gonna start their presidential bobblehead series last night, and apparently they ordered leatherpants dolls instead of thomas jefferson. is this true? can it be confirmed?

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 6:11 PM EDT   0 recs

actually
tj was the second in the series, but im starting to think the jim bowden rumor isnt true. can anyone confirm/deny?
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 6:22 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

I'm guessing
that's a joke by that blogger...

by Gray on Aug 5, 2007 8:51 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

maybe it's satire?
if so, it's not very good satire. just sayin.
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 8:59 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

the site is "nationals enquirer"
they do a lot of fake stories like the national enquirer.  some are pretty funny.
I love the Reds no matter what!

by Daedalus on Aug 5, 2007 10:59 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

but why do they mix those in
with real stories? Shouldnt it be clearer that it's not real? Shouldnt good satire smack you in the face?
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 11:10 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Boobs..
..You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 5, 2007 11:19 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

well probably
but blogs are living organisms that mutate with every chemical reaction induced by baseball, esp. bad baseball.  tough to find the inspiration to be witty when your team sux sometimes.
I love the Reds no matter what!

by Daedalus on Aug 5, 2007 11:50 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

understood
i probably shouldnt attack people who are doing something creative and productive anyway. good for them in that regard.
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 6, 2007 12:27 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Uhhhh...
I didn't notice this until reading an AP writeup, but Dunn was actually benched for, well, pick one: Keppinger or Hopper.  This would have been Keppinger's first career start in the outfield, since Freel is listed as day-to-day (with Pete not ruling out another trip to the DL).

Huh.

Actually, I guess Pete wouldn't dare play Keppinger in center, so that would mean that Dunn was to be benched for Keppinger.  Uh, sure.

by Gray on Aug 5, 2007 6:20 PM EDT   0 recs

what's wrong with Freel?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 7:34 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

i guess he doesnt freel good
Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 5, 2007 7:45 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

groan
Apparently, it's his knee.  I didn't realize he left the game Thursday due to injury.

FWIW, Kepp was going to start in LF if the game was played.  He's been playing outfield pretty regularly for Louisville.  

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 7:58 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Great home run call
In that song.  I think George Grande should start using it:

Oh no
It go
It gone
Bye bye (bye)!

"Players have two things to do. Play and keep their mouths shut." -Sparky Anderson

by boohiss on Aug 5, 2007 7:45 PM EDT   0 recs

Soriano
Yikes.  He pulled a hammy or something halfway between 2nd and 3rd.  Out at third to end the inning, because he could only hop to 3B.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 9:06 PM EDT   0 recs

Soriano has a quad strain
Even worse than a hammy.  

Kerry Wood is on the mound now...

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 5, 2007 10:17 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

There was no Reds baseball today.
But there was this.

And this.

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 6, 2007 12:24 AM EDT   0 recs

Ichiro
One of his more famous quotes is apropos today:

"Kansas City in August is hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock."

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Aug 6, 2007 6:42 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

that's Ichiro
and all this time I'd been ascribing that to Cody Hicks during junior high football two-a-days in 1993.
"Two Dunn's enter, but only one Dunn will leave...unless neither do because they decide to play cards, drink beer, golf, and fish."--SlydeFrog

by Man Mountain on Aug 6, 2007 10:43 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

The more I read/hear about Ichiro...
The more I like him.

"Forgive me, I was just a curious 18-year old."

Classic.

"The revolution will not be televised....at least out of market" -- Brendanukkah

by jch24 on Aug 6, 2007 8:33 AM EDT to parent up   0 recs

the fay blew my mind
http://frontier.cincinnati.com/blogs/redsinsider/2007/08/dunn-deal.asp#comments

he actually compares dunn to comparable (but worse) free agents and shows how relatively cheap he really is. And he uses OPS. Wow, Fay.

Marty may have a shirt on, but Billy Beane just ripped his off and is squeezing his nipples. - Brendan's ukkah

by boobs on Aug 6, 2007 6:50 PM EDT   0 recs

Fay just blew me as well
I'm reading his chart thinking, "Yeah, but Soriano and Lee signed LTCs so it's unfair to just list their yearly salary." Then he points that out at the end. Well done, sir.

If he could figure out < code > he's really be onto something.

Reeeddd Men-ace

by Red Menace on Aug 6, 2007 7:28 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Anybody watching Bonds?
Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 6, 2007 11:01 PM EDT   0 recs

Me
I'm back and forth between the computer and the TV.
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Aug 6, 2007 11:04 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

If you wanted an update
0-1, foul out to Zimmerman in the 1st.  He'll bat 2nd next inning.
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Aug 6, 2007 11:05 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Thanks. I saw it.
Nice snag my Zim'.

Thanks for letting me know he's due up soon.

Now I know that I've got about six minutes to get the wife away from nationally televised critical analysis of Aerosmith videos-- otherwise known as VH1.

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."

by Fat Vegas Alan on Aug 6, 2007 11:12 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

Now, you see....
What Steven Tyler is exploring here is the dichotomy of livin' it up while going down symbolized, of course, by the elevator on the one hand and the dirty skank willing to bang you in said elevator on the other.  Brilliant songwriting.  Poetry, really.
"Karma - there it was. The meaning of life, straight from Carson Daly's lips to my morphine-laced ears." -Earl Hickey

by BLee2525 on Aug 6, 2007 11:21 PM EDT to parent up   0 recs

It was good for one laugh..
..The dude from the band Modern English commenting on Burger King using his song Melt With You to pitch their sammiches: "Well, I'm a vegan but they gave me $20,000."

I did get the channel changed and I've gotta say that young John Lannen has some pretty good control.  He knows he wants the ball eight inches off the plate and that's where he's putting it.  Nearly. Every. Time.

Rose's talk was "weird" - something that "might have been appropriate for a Kiwanis Club, but not for kids."