It's been a quiet month in Redsland, but things just got interesting.  According to an unnamed source, the Dodgers are not only listening on their ace Clayton Kershaw, but are close to a deal that would send him to Cincinnati.

As is well known, the Dodgers' ownership situation is in flux.  Outgoing owner Frank McCourt has instructed GM Ned Coletti to curtail spending in an attempt to make the team's payroll situation more attractive to prospective buyers.  Kershaw is arbitration-eligible for the first time this off-season and MLBTradeRumors projects a salary north of $8 mil.  Considering that Kershaw is a favorite to win the Cy Young this year, he would easily be the most attractive pitcher on the market if they decided to make him available.  

It looks like he is being made available, and it looks like the Reds are keen to capitalize.  The source, who claims to have information from someone in the Reds organization, says the package of players that might be headed to LA includes Yonder Alonso, Yasmani Grandal, Edinson Volquez, and Homer Bailey.  The Dodgers are reportedly very keen on Alonso and want him to replace James Loney at 1B, whom they intend to non-tender.  Volquez and Bailey are included to free up $5 mil or so to fit Kershaw into the Reds' budget.  

The deal isn't finalized yet though, as Coletti is awaiting approval from McCourt, who is reportedly busy hosting monkey knife fights on his yacht.  

More on this as it develops.

I don't mean to get anyone's hopes up here. But after the Red Sox and their unprecedented 10 game collapse allowed the Rays to even the wild card race, I started thinking: why not us? The most obvious answer is that basic, high school equivalency-level math forbids it. The Reds were officially eliminated from the playoffs eleven days a go. But as Billy Beane, from Phillip Seymour Hoffman's Moneyball, proved: you can't let numbers stand in your way. All you need, as the title suggests, is a little bit of money to take a ragtag band of misfits and turn them into a winning machine. I may have grossly misinterpreted the movie, but I don't really have time to get hung up on the details. There's only 2 games left in the season and much work to be done.

Here are just a few scenarios for how the Reds might pull this thing off:

Playoff team vacates its wins

Given that there are actually five additional non-division-winning teams with better records that the Reds right now, this is going to require every playoff team to vacate its 2011 wins and for the Reds to finish with a better record than the Nationals. But every team has its vulnerabilities. It's obviously unfair that the Phillies have a playoff rotation of Halladay, Lee and Hamels. That's sure to run afoul of antitrust law. Just have to fast-track the lawsuit. Easy. Bud Selig used to own the Brewers, so there's a pretty massive conflict of interest. Collusion, also. Done. And the Diamondbacks, judging by their name alone, have probably arranged for inappropriate gifting and other recruiting practices that will scandalize their program and cause them to discipline themselves without a lengthy legal process.

This strategy may have to work retroactively, but if successful will ensure that the Reds will have "made" the playoff in 2011.

Clerical error

In this scenario, I'm assuming that Major League Baseball uses some kind of proprietary software to schedule its season and post season, which allows for some degree of human error. And that there is no "un-do" feature in that program. If a mid-level functionary is plugging in the teams and happens to mis-click in some drop-down menu, the Reds would be in like Larry Flynt, as "Cincinnati Reds" is very close alphabetically to both "Boston Red Sox" and "Detroit Tigers." This would put the Reds in the American League playoffs, but playoffs just the same. The team would be on a plane to Arlington or New York before the mess could be sorted out.

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Though I haven't researched this extensively, a cursory scan of Google and my brain tells me there's never been a sitting Reds player to lend his name to a video game franchise or grace the cover of the annual edition of The Show, MLB 2K-whatever or their antecedents. Ken Griffey Jr. headlined a series of video games during his time with the Mariners. Several-time Red Deion Sanders had a video game - a football game called Prime Time NFL starring Deion Sanders, on the cover of which he decided to snub the Reds and wear a Dallas Cowboys jersey. Bip Roberts had Bip Roberts presents Bip Ball, but it dropped when he was a member of the Padres.

Had baseball video games existed during the 1970s beyond those that required taping a "baseball field" transparency over your TV screen, I'm sure there would have been licensed products featuring members of the Big Red Machine. But from the beginning of the advent of video games (mid-80s?) until the present day, there hasn't been a truly nationally-marketable household megastar playing for the Reds during prime years. Part of the lack of exposure is the smaller diameter of the spotlight in Cincinnati's media market - and part of it is simply an inability to cultivate and retain name-brand talent.

Eric Davis flirted with the possibility of entering the pantheon, but was plagued by injury and lack of black ink (Ninth in MVP voting in 1987? Yes, ninth.) Despite winning an World Series and an MVP, Larkin was stuck in the shadow of Ozzie Smith for a portion of his career and never achieved the "most" of anything - HRs, steals, backflips - despite being good at pretty much everything. And Ken Griffey Jr. joined the Reds at the tail end of his reign as baseball's best.

In order to correct this oversight (injustice, really) by the video game industrial complex, here's just a sampling of the titles we're owed as fans. With the boom in anachronistic, faux Nintendo games based on works of literature, there's no reason that these shouldn't already exist:

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I was once again able to get some time with the Radiotron XT 4099, which you may remember is equipped with the latest in HD radio technology capable of receiving broadcasts from all around space-time.  Much like the Palomar Observatory at CalTech, the Radiotron has a backlog of lab time requests stretching years into the future.  Everyone from government scientists to eccentric billionaires has requested lab time with the device.  Lucky for you, I have an in with one of the fellas over at Radiotron Amalgamated Laboratories and Facilities (RALF) and am able to get lab time pretty much whenever I want.  While others might use the Radiotron to foresee and avoid global conflicts or try to game the stock market, we here at the Red Reposter News Bureau feel duty-bound to bring you the future news of your favorite baseball team.

Here is a broadcast I was able to pick up from some time in July, 2015:

...which if true, could mean compulsory military service will be enjoyed by children as young as 11.  Hmm, they will really enjoy that, won't they Bill? 

- You betcha, Sarah.  Moving on now to sports, the Reds have held a commanding lead in the NL Central all year since starting the season on a 90-game winning streak, but the Boys in Red are not letting up over the All-Star Break.  The team will be making the trip to RijoSaboCaseyWKRP Field (neé Citi Field) for the Midsummer Classic.  Reds outfielder and Team Generalissimo Jay Bruce: "I'm so honored to be chosen to go to the All-Star Game and Festival to Celebrate and Honor the Fans, especially since General Viceroy RijoSaboCaseyWKRP has given us such a better game to play.  Everything is so much better now that he is running baseball, for us the players and especially for the Fans.  I'm really looking forward to participating in the wheel barrow race again this year.  Drew Stubbs and I won it last year and we are really excited to defend our title.  I've been in the weight room quite a bit lately to build up my calves so he'll have something meatier to hold on to."

Attendance at and viewership of the ASG&FtCaHtF have skyrocketed since finally being fixed by General Viceroy RijoSaboCaseyWKRP, who as we all know was appointed as General Viceroy on First Freedom Day three years ago.  Rising from humble beginnings as a gentle blog administrator, the GV has revolutionized the game of baseball since taking the reins.  Baseball was hopeless under the supervision of the Ancien Régime, with old near-sighted commissioner Selig and his cronies oppressing the Fans and controlling baseball for their own profit.  The GV was the only one brave enough to stand up to the injustice, leading the Revolution of the Fans and winning the Day of First Freedom.  And for that we the Fans are all compulsorily grateful.

The General Viceroy's hometown Reds have shined under his leadership, winning the last 3 World Series and losing only one game during that stretch (the one loss was to the now-defunct Milwaukee Brewers, who mysteriously disappeared just hours after the game).  Outfielders Jay Bruce and Drew Stubbs, as well as first baseman Joey Votto are the only players to ever be elected to the Hall of Fame as active players, and their play on the field has been instrumental in the Reds unparalleled run of excellence. 

As for the ASG&FtCaHtF, the schedule of Fan Festivities is to be released tomorrow morning.  The game itself will be Sunday the 11th, with the first pitch scheduled to be thrown at 3:14 PM by the General Viceroy himself.  The results of the Fan Vote for pregame Fan Festivities (all entries were chosen by the GV himself) will be released along with the schedule tomorrow, but many expect fan favorites the slam dunk contest, wheel barrow race, and player caricature drawing seminar to easily make the cut.  Other activities on the ballot are the truth-telling contest, Jocks vs. Joes softball game, cussing contest, flonkerton, basket-weaving seminar with hall of famer Barry Larkin, and new entries pool party with the players, go-cart races, and pig wrangling competition.  Reds shortstop Hanley Ramirez has been personally lobbying the Fans to vote for the go-cart races.  "I love racing the go-carts.  I've been practicing most mornings down at the track the GV built for me when I came to Cincinnati, so I really think I have a chance to win this.  Joey (Votto) thinks he's some kind of a Dale Earnhardt or some shit, but I spun his ass out the other day.  Rubbin' is racin'!" 

Tickets to this weekends' events are free to all Fans, as always.  All hail, 'KRP!

Something to look forward to, I guess.