Red Reposter: It's Gonna be Alright, Snow White

! - Reds

Introducing, the best 2-6 team you've seen.

There's a 1:45 PM game today as Mike Leake and the Reds take on Shelby Miller. Miller was beaten up in his previous appearance, so maybe the Reds can sneak a game out of this and get through April with three against Tampa, six aganst CHC and PIT each, and three at Atlanta. It'll be a bear of a month, but if the Reds can fight through it they're in a good position.

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The big news in Reds country besides is clearly Joey Votto's "Andy Kaufman turn," as CTR put it. Votto did an incredible soft Canadian accent before being forced to lay it on thick. That was my favorite part, actually. Also him being real embarrassed about 18-year-old Joey.

James Dator agrees, saying that it " left the hosts completely befuddled and unable to interview him without laughing between questions and basically turning the thing into a game of "20 questions" akin to a Halloween meeting between an adult and a costumed child on Halloween."

On the other hand, man, for being talk-show hosts Kevin Millar and the other guy did Joey absolutely no help setting up his jokes and the entire thing did stretch out for a bit long as Votto was given no...help...whatsoever (which I hope isn't a season-long trend).

And booo on Joe Kelly, for thinking that Votto was dressed as a Russian.

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In other news, Latos' DL stint was extended a bit due to "elbow irritation."

"But Cy," you ask. "Wasn't he on the DL for his knee surgery?"

"He was, young strawman," I respond, patting you on the Reds hat covering your little straw head. "So I am deep in fear and waving my de-hexing stick over at AC Slider's 'Simon in the rotation!' piece."

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ClayMC took his turntables on the road and saw a game in Dayton, Columbus, and Cincinnati. Ain't his fault that the Reds lost, but it's a fanpost worth checking out.

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J.J. Cooper believes in Robert Stephenson. Maybe you should, too:

Stephenson got six swings and misses on his fastball and had another 13 taken for strikes. Eleven were fouled off, all of which were either fouled back or fouled off to the opposite field. No one pulled a fastball foul against Stephenson all night

Oh my. By the way, are there any sites out there that do spray charts by pitcher, not by hitter? I'd love to have it for MLB or MiLB data, of course.

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Just because I was abandoned as a child and raised by carnivorous animals and even once killed a human man for food, that doesn’t affect how I play the game or my desire to play it.

Derek Norris comes out as the first openly feral player in baseball. He held a conference before an April 2 game in which Carson Cistulli was in attendance. He spoke eloquently, "after which comment he fell onto all fours and sniffed the clubhouse floor intently."

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Small Town Noir

If somebody recreating a Mahoning Valley town's history through its mugshots doesn't sound attractive to you, I don't know what. The wonderful belly between newspapers, true crime, and:

[mugshots] still carrying the strong smell of the cigarettes smoked by New Castle detectives over the years—brought to light wonderful characters: a quarry worker who was arrested after losing his false teeth at a crime scene; a prohibition agent whose house was dynamited by bootleggers; an upstanding poultry fancier who turned bank robber; immigrant families; civil war veterans; local capitalists; and a lot of drunks.

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If you're having a lazy morning, let Himanshu stop that for you:

See y'all at gametime.

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