This Week in JPEGs - Now with corporate sponsorship! (and too much Matt Adams)

Picture courtesy of me, you idiots

New season, new revenue streams!

Welcome back, all! Baseball was dormant for way too long, but our darkest, coldest nightmare is over. Baseball is back, and with it the opportunity to draw stupid pictures in MS Paint.

This week's selection of JPEGs is brought to you by Paramount Pictures' Noah, starring Academy Award winner Russell Crowe. Now in theaters. Check local listings for showtimes.

Matt Adams vs. The Fans

Perhaps nothing in Reds' baseball over the past few years has been as perfect an episode fit for JPEGing than the incident involving Matt Adams and the Reds fans in the front row down the first base line. In case you haven't seen it yet, here's the gif:

L0mdrhjvtgloifhjkhjm_medium

via cdn3.vox-cdn.com

What intrigues me about this episode is the way that perspective can so dramatically change perception of what we generally think is an objective reality. It is in moments like this when I become keenly, painfully aware of the shackles of subjectivity and how it can create vast, unbridgeable gulfs between us. It is in these gulfs, deep in the nothingness, that the malevolent demons of opposition and hostility thrive.

And so I have chosen to illustrate here the moment just before the fan catches the ball. The section on the left is presented from the point of view of Adams as he lunges into the stands. The point of view on the right is that of the fan as Adams barrels down upon him.

Matt_adams_vs

Tony Cingrani Catches Matt Adams Napping

The Reds have only played three games so far, so there really isn't a lot of baseball here from which I can draw inspiration. So it is with great reluctance that I present to you yet another Matt Adams JPEG. I'm sorry, everyone.

In Game 2, Tony Cingrani sliced up the Cardinals to the tune of nine strikeouts and just two hits and two walks allowed. One of those walks was surrendered to Adams in the top of the fifth inning. Tony promptly picked him off first base. The Red Reporters present at the game, soaking themselves in beer and TWSS jokes, likely wooped with pleasure, if they were still conscious.

Nap_adams_medium

Todd Frazier's Atomic Blast

In the first inning of Game 3, Jay Bruce put the Reds on the board with a towering home run more than halfway up the moondeck in right field. It was majestic, fantastic, exquisite-ic. Todd Frazier followed him with a monster blast of his own, launching the pitch some 474 feet. The ball landed above the Kroger strikeout thing in the right field bleachers and produced a sizable mushroom cloud and impact crater. Fortunately, the home run caused only minor injuries as Frazier, being the nice guy and lifesaver that he is, was able to race up into the stands and clear the impending blast radius of spectators before impact. What a nice guy.

Frazierbomb_medium

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Red Reporter

You must be a member of Red Reporter to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Red Reporter. You should read them.

Join Red Reporter

You must be a member of Red Reporter to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Red Reporter. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker