Five Dumb Predictions for 2014: Dumber Still

My God, he's insane - David Kohl-USA TODAY Sports

In case you haven't had enough dumb predictions yet

OK, well KMiB got us kicked off with some predictions for 2014, then BBB one upped him with some predictions that were pretty dumb (read: awesome), and I don't know if any other predictions were made by now either I appear to be next in queue. These are the dumbest predictions yet.

1. Bryan Price will win Manager of the Year

Everybody is kind of down on the Reds. They lost an MVP candidate in Shin-Soo Choo, they lost a rotation anchor in Bronson Arroyo, and they lost veteran staff-handler and defender extraordinairre, Ryan Hanigan, to what everyone considers the smartest team in baseball. And they've picked up...well let's not go there. Steamer projections kind of hate them, and FanGrapsh projections don't even have the Reds as a playoff contender in a world with *two* wild card spots! But why am I getting everybody all depressed; this prediction is actually about really good news. Because despite all the people saying nay, Bryan Price is going to manage the Reds to 90+ wins and a playoff berth, and be named MoY for his overachieving efforts! And then he will grab the first playoff series victory since a really way too long time ago, too! But that's for someone else to predict...

2. Todd Frazier will make the All-Star team

Now that's bold! And dumb! Or is it? Perhaps I should hedge my bets and say that despite whatever nonsense will ensue with the fan voting, that Todd Frazier will be the deserving starter for the NL All-Star team at 3B. Our Todd is an awesome Todd, after all, and I've always been way high on Frazier. So forget the hedging, Todd will make the All-Star team in 2014.

3. The Cubs will be .500 or better

Guys. I hate to do it. Please tell me this is dumber than my dumbest prediction yet. But the Cubs scare me, like a sleeping giant. In 2014, the Cubs are going to surprise people by being a .500 team at least, and then starting in 2015, they are going to win 90+ games for at least the next three consecutive years and become like a dynasty in the NL Central. Wow, what a dumb prediction! I hope.

4. The Pirates will be .500 or worse

On the other end of the spectrum, everybody's seeming favorite up-and-comers, the Pirates, were more mirage than reality last year. This year, they might break .500 by a game or two at best, but they are not going to the playoffs. In fact, in conjunction with my previous dumb prediction, the Pirates might be battling the Cubs for position in the standings. Is that bold enough?

5. A Reds pitcher will set the all time Reds record for Cy Young support

I can't go bold enough to tell you which one, because I'm not smart enough (I mean, you have read my predictions, haven't you?). But somebody on the 2014 pitching staff is going to best Tom Seaver's 56% share from 1981. Maybe, he will win the award for the first time in club history! Better than Tom Seaver, you say? Yes sir, I am just dumb enough to say so, indeed.

6.Chris Heisey will slash .280/.320/.460, hit 20 HR, steal 10 bases, and be worth over 3 WAR in 110 games played

KMiB sort of set a precedent to follow with this 6th one thrown in. And I love Heisey. He's like, my guy on the team, or whatever you call it. So here's this prediction. Heisey will have more WAR in 2014 than BP. Boom. It speaks for itself, and certifies my lunacy, I am sure you are thinking. Think away, friend. I like my dreams just the way they are.

BBB's poll was a thing of beauty. But here's a different one.


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