Tony Cingrani's Terrifying Pitchface
Reds Sweep Up Dodgers
The Dodgers are garbage they are all trying to be like the Yankees of the National League or the West Coast or something but the thing is they don't have a real legit captain that can set the tone and show them all how to act and play like professionals GOSH I can't believe Jeter is retiring I think I'm gonna cry like actually really cry and I never cry the last time I cried was at my grandpa's funeral because he was like a real inspiration to me and he taught me how to drive the riding mower and that really meant a lot to me like we bonded with dumb stuff like that I don't know.
And now everything in baseball for the next year is going to be about Derek Jeter. Fuck.