Eyewitness Report:Tom Browning speaks to the Rosie Reds

So, I became a Rosie Red last year mainly for the ticket opportunities. It's actually a pretty cool organization, and you can be involved in as much or as little as you want. Contrary to popular belief, men are allowed to be Rosies, and apparently make up 45% of our ranks. If you are so inclined check it out next year-sign up begins right around Redsfest.

The annual meeting was this past Saturday, and if you follow me on twitter you know that Tom Browning spoke, and that Tom Browning did also not appear to be particularly sober. In case you missed it, here are some of the gems I managed to get typed:

On the Reds 2013 season:

"They had a promising start, then they got to the end and went to Pittsburgh and pooped their pants"

On whether Brandon Phillips should be traded:

"Brandon Phillips. He's got some shiny teeth."
On pitching in GABP:

"I would've given up like 100 Home Runs. Have you seen how close that right field wall is?"

On the Reds Caravan:

"It's about time for the Reds Caravan." *Big Sigh* "All they do is feed you and make you drink. Well, they don't MAKE you drink. . ."

On Billy Hamilton:

"He needs to learn to hit or figure out how to steal first."

On the Bengals:

"Damn, Dalton just picked the wrong day to have a bad game. Oh well, no one here really likes the Bengals anyway. This is Reds Country."

On his perfect game:

"I have this victory cheer I call 'The Saw'; I'm pretty sure I did that. Oh, and I remember it sucks being at the bottom of the dog pile. It's REALLY heavy."

On the price of chaw these days:

"Getting your Copenhagen ain't as easy as it used to be. That price just keeps going up!"

On life:

"I live in the real world, and it's a pain in the ass."

Later while signing autographs, he caught us taking a photo of his crazy outfit:

"Are you ladies taking a picture of my ass?"

After explaining we were taking a picture of his chaw can ring:

"Oh, well all my jeans have the Copenhagen ring. These aren't special."

And finally, his take on the Rosie Reds Organization:

"You gals found yourselves a great niche and just keep plodding along."

There you have it. If anyone else who was there wants to throw in anything I missed, please jump in. Also, if a quote isn't exactly right I apologize, it's hard to get the quote typed out perfectly when you're crying with laughter and awe. Also, some dude brought a cowbell and I may have missed a word or two here and there.

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