I have no more funnies.
I'm all funnied out.
The Cincinnati Reds wrapped up their first home series since the Nixon Administration with another thumping courtesy of the St. Louis Cardinals, and it was three hours of frustration personified. The starting pitching allowed the Cardinals to score in the Top of the 1st for the third consecutive game, the dregs of the bullpen pitched like the dregs of the bullpen, and the offense was a Zack Cozart HR away from being blanked.
The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game
It should probably be a Cardinal, but whatever. It should probably be Cozart if it wasn't a Cardinal, but whatever.
Adam Dunn went 4 for 5 with a 475 foot HR and a strikeout (duh). He wins.
- A two-out bloop by Allen Craig, a double to the wall by Matt Holliday, a David Freese double, and a Matt Adams homer highlighted the Top of the 1st, as the Cardinals took an early 4-0 lead off of Mike Leake.
- Zack Cozart hit an upper-decker off Lance Lynn, his former college teammate, in Bottom of the 2nd to make it a 4-2 game.
- Five different Cardinals had multiple hits today. Two of the Cardinals starters who didn't have multiple hits had one hit and also walked. In fact, the only Cardinal position player who started and didn't reach base twice was SS Daniel Descalso, who had an RBI double, scored a run, and hit 2 homers on Friday night, and nevermind, I wrote that an hour ago when this game was already obviously over, and since then Tony Cruz and Descalso picked up a homer and double, respectively, to join the multiple-hit club, leaving Matt Carpenter and his 1 for 4, BB, 2 RBI, R game as the offensive laggard for St. Louis, and OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP HE JUST GOT ANOTHER HIT TOO. AND HE SCORED. AND YOU SCORED. AND THAT OTHER GUY SCORED. That coupled with depending on Logan Ondrusek and Pedro Villareal is how you lose a game of large significance 11-2. Nope, 12-2. Nope nope, 13-2. Nope, 15-2.
- The Pirates are winning 5-1 over Colorado because of course they are. If that holds up, the Reds would be 6.5 games out of the NL Central lead (and 5 games back of the Cardinals). Thankfully, the Arizona Diamondbacks are losing to Boston, so the Reds stand to keep a 4.5 game lead for the second Wild Card spot.
- This series lopped off 18 runs from the Reds' season run differential.
- This marks the 6th consecutive series defeat to the Cardinals, 3 of which came in Cincinnati.
- Oakland next. They had fun with the Reds last time.
- This is the only song bad enough to associate with this game.