Red Reposter: ESPN has a van and they're handing out free candy

And with a not-at-all-SBN preview stamp, too! - Courtesy - ESPN

Cool Papa Billy is a Cool Papa Bat, el Beeperino is hungry, and oh just read the links, won't you?

Our header image today is from the next issue of ESPN: The Magazine. It is an illustration of Joey Vishnu, the many-armed Vedic Supreme God in Hinduism. Joey has six valuable characteristics: Jnana (Omniscience: he knows what the pitcher will throw), Aishvarya (Sovereignty: he is the King of the Queen City), Shakti (Power: the doubles record is well within his grasp), Bala (Strength: the capacity to support everything by will and without any fatigue and this one is actually copy-pasted from wikipedia without the need of edits), Virya (vigor: the ability to play in many games over the course of the season, even when seemingly injured or ill), Tejas (Splendor: for thine eyes have seen the glory of his coming).

If my bad jokes aren't enough, let's have Joey explain himself in a promo video/chat with Buster Olney. What's your favorite part? "The at-bat starts at 10:30 in the morning"? Naysaying RBIs? His sacralization of the term "execute"? Mine is a moment at 2:06, when you can see Joey's eyes light up at a pitch he recognizes. It's like watching that gif of a tiger attacking a dude on the back of an elephant.

Billy Hamilton was sent to minor league camp. Drew Hayes was too, but whatever. 12 more cuts are coming before April 1. Also in that link is Dusty saying nice things about Ludwick and Hoover.

Reds.com has a nice story about Sugar Shane Larkin. I don't know much about this, but 'tis the season and all, so I hope you folks will.

Brandon Phillips mentions his itch and his hunger. Bronson Arroyo knows that feel bro, but he's got some ointment that wi-- oh? For a championship? Right, yeah, me too, totally. In it to win it.

Choo is totally cool you guys. Totally cool. He's had back issues before, and it's not like those are an ongoing thing and...oh boy. I mentioned my nervousness about this a bit ago and got yelled down by BK. But I'm just saying, I'm a bit nervous.

It's a good thing, then, that Heisey's having a heckava spring, just a heckava spring. Mostly because he wouldn't say "Hell" for fear of damnation. He Goodman'd 3 Browns yesterday against the White Sox' Jon Danks. Homer Bailey went 4.1, 5R, 4ER, 9H, 1BB, 5K. "That could be the thin air, it could be me and it could be a bunch of things." he said, while spitting out some lip juice and going on FacetTme with Lance McAllister just to glare at him.

Hal has some opinions to share about the Chapman sitch. To his opinions, well, I say "It could be Dusty. It could be Chapman, and it could be a bunch of things." I'm well in line with Scrabbles, 'MiB, Memphis BK, and the rest of management when I say #LetHimStart. Hal's concerned with players' perceptions, but I think it's pretty well-delineated at this point that Chapman is different than most players. We can stomp our feet about how unfair this is, or we can just make the best decision for the team. Well, when I say "we" I pretty much obviously mean "Jocketty."

AND NOW FOR THE NON-RELEVANT PORTIONS:

Emma Span had a great article about the unbridled joy of the WBC.

It's the kind of play that you rarely see in the majors, if only because opponents tend to get tetchy about being "shown up" and drill offenders the next time through the batting order. I have never been a fan of this approach -- if you don't want someone to show you up, play better -- but it's ingrained. Here in the WBC, however, we seem to be getting a break from that calcified code.

Noted humanitarian R.A. Dickey is in there telling people that having fun is okay. I don't really care about any unwritten rules myself, so it's good to see other people feel the same. This isn't church, it's baseball (sorry, Sister D) so it's okay to look like you're enjoying yourself. Organized enthusiasm is probably the greatest thing on Earth, right? That's why we hang out in game threads, right?

Also in the SoE archives is this shorticle on "The Driemteam," a group of Honkbal fans who are supporting the memory of Greg Halman. It's kind of incredible that anyone's been able to use the Sickles Defense successfully, too.

To ensure that we end on a high note, Holly Wendt went to Spring Training too:

Spring training is potentiality. Spring training is the dream-space. The title of Sir Thomas More’s famous Utopia translates to “no place,” even though the word has come forward as the ideal place. More knew his idea of utopia was an impossibility for various reasons related to human nature; his perfect world was always impossible and therefore, it was no world at all, just a place in a book. Spring training is its own no-place, but it is because its very construction is not meant to last. Its very heart is flux: of rosters, of fans, of the idea of a place of one’s own.

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