FanPost

Birds in The Wire- The 2013 Baltimore Orioles

"All in the game yo, All in the game." – Omar Little

Teleplay by David Simon

FADE IN:

EXT. INFIELD/WEST BALTIMORE – NIGHT

Ghetto baseball infield. Boarded-up rowhomes, yellow police tape, emergency vehicles, UNIFORMED COPS, TRAINING STAFF signifying from the periphery. CLOSE ON BODY of a middle aged white male, clutching his groin and head, supine at 2nd base. POV is ground level, tracking from 1st base to a rivulet of blood, to second base, to the face of the victim, eyes locked in sudden comprehension. Then onward to hot dog wrappers, empty beer cups, and, near the victim’s feet, a crumpled $40 million contract. And all the while we are listening to a DETECTIVE (McNulty) questioning a THIRD BASEMAN (MACHADO).

Roberts_display_image_medium

MCNULTY (o.c)
So your boy’s name is what?

MACHADO (o.c.)
B-Rob

MCNULTY (o.c.)
You called this guy B-Rob?

MACHADO (o.c.)
Yeah.

CAMERA finally finishes its low-angle scan of the terrain to reveal HOMICIDE DET. JIMMY MCNULTY, white, mid-thirties, Irish, notepad in hand, questioning MANNY MACHADO, black, early twenties. They are sitting, MCNULTY casually and MACHADO nervously, on the steps of the dugout.

MCNULTY (cont.)
He like the name?

MACHADO
What?

MCNULTY (cont.)
This kid, whose mama went to the trouble to christen him… (checks notepad) … Brian Michael Roberts, he comes out on the field one day, maybe 23, 24 years old, and some asshole sportscaster calls him B-Rob. So he’s B-Rob forever. Doesn’t seem fair.

MACHADO
Life be that way, I guess

MCNULTY
So, who hurt B-Rob?

MACHADO
I’m saying every Spring we in Sarasota. We play ball, you know? All the boys from ‘round the way. We play ‘til late.

MCNULTY
Baseball team, right. I heard you are one of the best young infielders in the American League.

MACHADO
And like every time, B-Rob, he would get a big contract, you know. Play a few games when the season started. Then he would hit his fool head on a base or strain hisself stealin’ second, you see what I’m saying?

MCNULTY
Lemme understand this. Every year, you and your boys play baseball. And every year, your pal B-Rob gets paid millions and gets hurt in April. I got to ask you. If every time, B-Rob would grab the money and run away – why did you give him the second base job? Why trade Andino to Seattle?

WITNESS looks at MCNULTY like he’s an idiot.

MACHADO
Got to.
(pause)
This America, man.
36122_medium


FADE TO:

MAIN TITLES

EXT. OUTFIELD/WEST BALTIMORE

Two unmarked police cars pull up alongside one another in opposite directions. The drivers, DET MCNULTY and DET WILLIAM "BUNK" MORELAND, strike up a conversation. DET LESTER FREAMON sits in the passenger seat of DET MORELAND’s vehicle

BUNK
So who is this motherfucker in rightfield this year? Marky Mark?

MCNULTY
Markakis. Greek, I think.

BUNK
Them Greeks sure have some weird ass names.

MCNULTY
Hey, don’t knock the Greeks. They have a career 118 OPS+. They also invented civilization.

BUNK
Yeah, and ass-fucking too.

MCNULTY
But what the fuck is Pac-Man Jones doing in center?

BUNK
Not Pac-Man. Adam. Ain’t nothing like Pac-Man.

MCNULTY
So who is he?

BUNK
Just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick, who hit 32 HR and led the team in OPS last year.

FREAMON
You give him too much credit.

BUNK
Okay then. He ain’t that humble. And he’s overrated defensively.

MCNULTY
I just don't understand why they re-signed McLouth. He's an empty suit. Why do they give a fuck about helping his career? He'll probably hit .190

BUNK
That'll teach 'em to give a fuck when it ain't their turn to give a fuck.
432303_10151270964073872_937185415_n_medium




CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT OUTSIDE CAMDEN YARDS – DAY

DETECTIVES HERC and CARVER sit in their unmarked cruiser, staking out the location of a suspected drug dealer in the Camden Yards parking lot. They pass the hours in idle conversation.

Fuzzy-dunlop-650x483_medium

HERC
Anybody I want?

CARVER
Anybody.

HERC
I want more than one. I want the Olsen Twins.
Olsen-twins-mary-kate--26-ashley-olsen-273794_1024_768_medium


CARVER
You got ‘em. Slaves. All they live for is to get you off. But so now who are you gonna do for ‘em. One guy, one act, one time.

HERC
Right, and the minute I name a guy, you’re gonna be like, "I knew you were a cocksucker from the first time I laid eyes on you. Jim Johnson? Huh, that’s your fantasy? You closet case motherfucker."

CARVER
Jim Johnson?

HERC
Fuck you. It’s a setup. And I would never go for a relief pitcher, 51 saves or not. Not enough WAR.

CARVER
Both Olsen Twins. Ashley, Kate…..

HERC
Mary-Kate. And yeah, I admire her body of work.

CARVER
They’re yours. All you gotta do is name a guy.

HERC
I’m not catching. I’m pitching.

CARVER
No problem.

HERC
How ‘bout I just give Chris Davis a handjob? He’s a designated hitter, so it’s not like he’s a real man, even with 33 HR.

CARVER
Man, you don’t even get Weezy Jefferson for a hand job.

HERC
Okay. I’ve thought this through. I’ve decided. Matt Wieters.
Gyi0060222071

CARVER
Matt Wieters? Lemme guess. It’s not about sex. It’s about giving a guy a break. You feel bad for him because he has to catch shitty starters like Jake Arrieta and Tommy Hunter. He looks sad on his baseball card.

HERC
Actually, no. I just think he’s really cute. And he is the best catcher in baseball, if you get what I’m sayin.

GUS TRIANDOS
I always knew you were a cocksucker, Herc.

Triandos_medium




CUT TO:

INT. COURTROOM/CIRCUIT COURTHOUSE - DAY

OMAR LITTLE sits at the witness stand in Courtroom of JUDGE DANIEL PHELAN, being questioned by ATTORNEY MAURICE LEVY about the Orioles bullpen.

0_medium

LEVY
And what is your occupation?

OMAR
I rip and run.

LEVY
You…?

OMAR
I robs drug dealers! [Jury laughs]. Kinda like how the Orioles bullpen robs American League hitters.

LEVY
Mr. Little, how does a man rob drug dealers for eight or nine years and live to tell about it? And how the hell did the Orioles top five relievers all finish with an ERA+ of 160 or better?

OMAR
One day at a time, I s’pose.

LEVY
They are amoral, are they not? Relievers feed off the violence and despair of bad starting pitching. They steal from those who themselves are stealing the lifeblood from our fans. They are parasites who leach off….

OMAR
Just like you, man.

LEVY
Excuse me? What?

OMAR
I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase, and they got the baseball. It’s all in the game though, right? It’s all in the game.

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT

STRINGER BELL leads a meeting of fellow GANGSTERS, including WEE BAY and SHAMROCK, in a nondescript conference room of a Best Western Hotel on the outskirts of Baltimore. They discuss the Orioles hopes for the coming season.

WEE BAY
Shit, man, them muthafuckas got the same roster as last year. Dey won 93, but dey scored the same muthafuckin number of runs they allowed.

STRINGER
That's good. That's like a forty degree day. Ain't nobody got nuttin to say about a forty degree day. Fifty? Bring a smile to your face. Sixty? Shit, folks are damn near barbecuing that mothafucka. Go down to twenty? Folks get they bitch on. Get they blood complainin... but forty? Nobody give a FUCK about forty. Nobody remember forty, and the Orioles is giving us a forty degree day. What the fuck?! [to SHAMROCK] What you doin'?

SHAMROCK
Robert's Rules says we got to have minutes of the meeting. These the minutes.

STRINGER
Fool, is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?

SHAMROCK
Sorry, String. [pause] String?

STRINGER
What you need, fool?

SHAMROCK
Why this show full of British muthafuckas pretendin' to be West Baltimore? Ain't there no American actors can do ghetto?
Idris_elba_stringe_1426940c_medium


FADE TO BLACK

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Red Reporter

You must be a member of Red Reporter to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Red Reporter. You should read them.

Join Red Reporter

You must be a member of Red Reporter to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Red Reporter. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker