Red It, Watched It, And Wept - Week of 02/10/13

DustyBaker: @DustyBaker - Andrew Weber-US PRESSWIRE

Covering what other writers are too scared too preoccupied with actual news to cover.

Monday: A Children’s Treasury of Paul Daugherty's Best Tweets From This Week

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Tuesday: Hold the Mayo’s Press Credentials (H/T again to –MBP)

We try to hold MLB Network and its website in high regard. After all, it is the website of record in baseball for items not involving Tim Tebow attending games at CitiField. That being said, we were shocked to hear that MLB.com’s Draft and Prospect /Expert‘d List of the Top 20 Reds Prospects was vauguely idiotic. Sure, Mr. Mayo was accurate in naming Billy Hamilton as the Reds’ top prospect and placing Robert Stevenson, Daniel Corcino, Tony Cingrani, and Nick Travieso in the top five. However, after the top five, it appears Jonathan decided to start pulling names out of his green hat. Sean Buckley and Sal Romano may be nice guys, but they aren't exactly the crown jewels of Cincinnati's farm system. In fact, if Sean Buckley and Sal Romano are truly in the Reds' top 10, the Reds appear to be further from being top organization in baseball than the worst. So, how did Buckley and Romano get so high despite the fact that they’re ranked considerably lower by Red Reporter and almost every other outlet? We have no idea. However, we would not be surprised if Jonathan Mayo used Twitter accounts as plus factors.

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Wednesday: Comment of the Week!

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Thursday: Because Making Fun of Bad Decisions Is Out Of Principle, Not Hatred

It seems every time we mention a Cardinals position player or pitcher or manager or announcer getting a DUI, we get criticized for not mentioning all the other baseball players who decide to drive #drunj. After all, the sports world is a microcosm of society and it’s perfectly okay for someone to be suspected of having unfortunate encounters on multiple occasions. That’s why today we salute Rockies First Baseman Todd Helton for having an excruciatingly embarrassing DUI arrest. Sure, he didn’t recite the alphabet incorrectly, but in lieu of using a Red Bull or a 5 Hour Energy (or greenies thanks to you baseball Puritans) to keep him awake at the wheel, the former Tennessee quaterback decided to use some Franzia in a sno cone cup. Remember folks, if you’re going to drink, drink responsibly or limit your irresponsibility like Danny Rey Herrera did.

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Friday: Hits and (even more) Mrs.

Jackie Robinson. Curt Flood. Pete Rose. These three names will go down in history as trailblazers in Major League Baseball. The former two for respectively breaking the color barrier and testing the waters of what soon became free agency. The latter will become known as individual responsible for what will soon be a glut of reality shows. While Rose may not live to see his baseball reinstatement or the fruits of his failed TLC reality show, Major League Baseball has taken a cue. The formerly respectable MLB Network announced that it will air "Who Wants to Be A Knuckleball Pitcher." The show will feature four washed up NCAA quarterbacks (AND DOUG FLUTIE) competing for the chance of getting an invite to Arizona Diamondbacks Spring Training. Does this sound awful and contrived? Of COURSE it is. You’re adorable for even asking. You know that feel good story that occurs every spring about a veteran realizing he has a bit more in the tank to contribute to a big league ball club? The Diamondbacks won't have that story this year. Instead, they decided it would be a good idea to give this guy a stab at winning a spot on the club. Ryan Perrilloux doffs his cap to you, Mr. Hit King, for your (numerous) contributions to the game and gaming fans everywhere.

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Saturday: WHEN ARE THEY GONNA HONOR OSU'S UNDEFEATED SEASON, LAAAAANCE

Hey, remember last year when a sports talk radio hosts whose name rhymes with Chance GuhMalister tried to impersonate Paul Finebaum by pitting Reds fans against each other based on which college they root for? Yeah, we tried to forget that too. However, that hasn’t stopped the Reds from firing another shot across the bow by hosting college baseball at Great American Ballpark. That’s right, the University of Cincinnati and the University of Louisville, two Big East rivals soon-to-be mild acquaintances, will play each other following the Reds game on April 6. We aren’t Wildcat fans here at RIWIAW, but we're secretly rooting for Kentucky winning the Big Dance this year. That way, the Reds can devote April 6 as the day where all college fans convene upon GABP. What will this look like? In the end, probably like this.

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Sunday: #ObamasAmerica #HarpersCanada

In order to save money, the Miami Marlins traded Mark Buehrle to a city where his pet dogs were classified as illegal. We would hope the worst upon the Marlins for doing this, but it doesn't look like they need our help.

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