Well, the season is over. The Reds have played all the baseball they are going to play this year. Also, BK was all like, "Hey you dumb idiots, I demand that you write stuff for the website all off-season so you better get some good ideas now to drive page clicks and SEO and content creation!" So with the boss man breathing down my knees (he's too short to breathe down my neck), I figured we could waste some time on this.
This whole thing came about very suddenly. The Reds were playing the Indians in late May. This happened:
And it was hilarious. Mark Reynolds was such a derp. Zack Cozart was trying to bunt some runners over, but he popped it up. It was a terrible bunt. Pitcher Cody Allen had a pretty easy play on it, but then Mark Reynolds got all derped up about it and jumped in front of him. The professional photographer, Jamie Sabau (who I assume is a decent self-respecting human being and would be polite but really nervous to hear that he was the inspiration for all this), captured the moment perfectly.
And I thought to myself, "You know old bean" (I call myself "old bean" in my internal monologue). So I says to myself I says, "You know old bean, it would be kinda funny to run through the SBN photobank and pull out the funniest pictures of the week and then write up a funny thing about them. That could be funny!"
This was clearly the funniest picture of the week, but I had trouble finding any others that were interesting enough to use (this is a problem that hasn't ceased plaguing this feature). So I ditched the idea. Then I figured, "Hey old bean, maybe you should draw your own interpretation of the picture!" And so, this happened:
Cripes. That's dumb. But hey, MS Paint isn't exactly oil and canvas. And I'm not exactly Thomas Kinkade. I threw together a few more stupid pictures, and this feature was born.
You folks kinda liked it, I guess. I was pretty surprised to see how well it was received. My guess is that you thought the elementary-level artwork was an ironic statement, kind of an intentional play-on. But F you jerks, it's really the best I can do.
Anyway, I drew pictures for the last 19 weeks of the season, each week a fresh batch of JPEGs for you idiots to vote for. 19 JPEGs were voted the JPEG o' the Week, and so I plugged those 19 into a tournament bracket with nine Wild Card entrants of my choosing. I asked my colleagues for suggestions regarding the Wild Card selection process, but I suppose they were too busy thumbing their own blogholes to help me out. So whatever, I chose nine of the better JPEGs from among the non-winners myself.
And so, for the next few weeks, we'll pit these JPEGs against each other to determine Red Reporter's favorite JPEG of the Year. This is going to be so stupid. Welcome to the off-season at Red Reporter.