This Week in JPEGs Tournament: The Hamiltornado vs. Corky Crushes Callaspo

picture courtesy of me, you idiots

Today's match-up gets all hagiographic as two of Red Reporter's most beloved folk heroes and doers of deeds of derring-do face off.

The Hamiltornado (née Billy Hamilton's Stupefying Speed)

Wahoo, did Billy make quite an entrance. Kid ran onto the scene all fast and stuff, running like a fast guy. He was successful on, what, his first 11 or 12 stolen base attempts? Yadier Molina complained that it wasn't fair (probably) and Matt Carpenter (pictured below) lost his motherfucking mind.

Looking back, this is one of my favorite memories of the season. It was all kinds of exciting when Billy came in to pinch-run. I mean, seriously. It's called pinch-run, not pinch-stand on the base and not go anywhere like a frickin' idiot or something.

Runbillyrun_medium

Corky Crushes Callaspo

Corky is the kind of character that this medium was made for. His celebrity is mythical, even cartoonish. He is John Henry and Paul Bunyan all put together, but his moustache is way better than what either of those guys could muster. Here, he is shown standing stalwart at the plate, blocking the hard-charging Alberto Callaspo. Eyewitness reports are spotty at best, but we can reasonably surmise that Callaspo was disintegrated.

Corkyandcallaspo_medium

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