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Professor Xavier Paul and the Uncanny Reds


In celebration of the arrival of "Professor" Xavier Paul to the team, I started thinking about how this current team stacks up to his previous team of mutants. Nerdiness ensues after the jump

Joey Votto is Wolverine: Canadian, virtually indestructable and the best he is at what he does, bub.

Scott Rolen is Cyclops: The All-American field leader.

Jay Bruce is Angel: Young, rich with talent and the potential to fly high but faces terrible stretches of being dead, evil, etc.

Chris Heisey is Beast: Hairy, acrobatic in the outfield and likes to experiment with his swing.

Drew Stubbs is Havoc: Self-explanatory

Brandon Phillips is Nightcrawler: A religious young man able to seemingly teleport into the hole to make a play. BAMF! A Bad-Ass Mother Fielder

Devin Mesoraco is Iceman: Young and energetic member of the team with the icy stare.

Ryan Hanigan is Banshee: Just look at him.

Johnny Cueto is Bishop: Crazy hair and comes from a future where a 2.28 ERA is commonplace.

Mike Leake is Gambit: A member of the Thieves Guild who throws things.

Bronson Arroyo is Rogue: A weird relationship with Gambit, bad hair, and you probably don't want to come into any skin-to-skin contact for health reasons.

Miguel Cairo is Storm: Cairo is in Africa. Also, the other leader (with Cyclops/Rolen) in the clubhouse. Cairo should grow a sweet mohawk and beat up Rolen to assume leadership of the team like Storm did to Cyclops that one time in the '80s.

Mat Latos is Jubilee: Young and petulant. Fond of the phrase "Does a mall-babe eat chili fries?"

Aroldis Chapman is Colossus: Indestructable arm and the heart of an artist/amatuer acrobat that escaped a tough life in a Communist country.

Sam Lecure is Forge: Um...mustache?

Wilson Valdez is Lockheed: I got nothing.

Todd Frazier is Jean Grey: This hot (at the plate) redhead has risen like a Phoenix from mediocre AAA seasons to stand alongside Rolen. Also once used telekinesis to hit a homerun off Jamie Moyer.

That's all I got - who am I missing or messing up here?

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