The Pirates series featured the pinheaded Greg Brown on PBP and Bob Walk or John Wehner on color. The entire series the broadcasters (all white) complained about how the flashiness of Brandon Phillips (black) "hurt blue collar" (white) second baseman Neil Walker, who doesn't get the same play on SportsCenter. Several times the announcers bagged on BP for not turning a double-play in game 1 that he had to attempt bare-handed...but the runner was still too fast. In Game 3 he HAD to turn a DP bare-handed, but they called him out for just adding flair to "every single play." When BP DID screw up in game 3, holding onto a ball in foul territory while screened out of the play, the runner advanced one base with the difference-making run...they dogged on him for taking his time getting over to cover first...even though he was playing 8 feet off second AND still managed to beat the runner to the bag AND avoid a collision while making a play most could not. He also bagged on BP for not running home from third on a ground ball in a 1-run game with no outs.
I'm not saying that John Wehner is a racist. I'm just saying that he sounded irrational, and bigotry is where I choose to point my finger because logic does not dictate his behavior.
Beyond that, Bob Walk thinks that Homer Bailey has confidence issues, Casey McGehee got the silent treatment, one Red was booed at home, Cozart and Votto are called out for not hustling or being "weasely", Ludwick is an embarrassment, Negron is the worst callup ever, and for the first time in GABP history, a foul ball went into the visitor's TV booth.HOMER OR WALK?
Walk was confident that his criticism of Homer Bailey's lack of confidence was appropriate. Bailey was struggling with command...that's always mental, right, tHom? Homer may be a stupid name for a pitcher, but sure-as-shit Walk is damn-near as bad. And Walk's middle name is Vernon. So if you see Bob Walk-ing around sometime, be sure to give him a wedgie or full-Melvin.
CASEY AFTER BAT
When Pirate Casey McGehee homered for the first time as a Buc, he got to the dugout only to find no one even looking at him, cheering or offering a high-5. THE SILENT TREATMENT is a long-held baseball tradition of giving grief to newbies, and it worked moderately well in getting Casey's goat:
"Yeah, but they didn’t set it up very good," McGehee said Wednesday. "They were a little late. I was between second and third and I happened to see them all scrambling to get back to their seats, so I had a feeling it was coming. I probably deserved it. It had been a while."
SAD MIKE COSTANZO
I DUNNO IF YOU COULD HEAR IT ON THE HOME FEED, but poor Mike was booed by his home fans in his last appearance at GABP. And then he was sent down for a utility guy who was 0-for-21 at the time of his call-up. Brutal.
FOUL TO WALK
That picture is creepy. That picture is also Bob Walk. For the first time in GABP history, a foul ball went into the visitor's TV booth. Ever the player, Bob called, "I got it! I got it! I got it!" before catching it cleanly and tossing it to a fan. The toss went wide and low for ball four.
CHUCK ONE UP FOR THE GOLUM
We've all heard that Devin Mesoraco is from Punxatawny, PA. What I learned last night was that the team mascot at Punxsutawney Area High School is "The Chuck." So Devin was "a chuck." No chuckin' way! Let the new nicknames begin...
Here is a rare, non-flattering image of our favorite Chuck:
WEHNER CRIES WEASEL!
IN THE 5TH INNING OF LAST NIGHT'S GAME - A GAME THAT WENT TO EXTRA INNINGS - John "my career was a mound of horse excrement" Wehner complained about Zach Cozart's 2-out bunt hit. He called it "kinda weasely," and accused Coz of trying the maneuver selfishly in an attempt to raise his own batting average at the expense of the team, especially since Cozart has so much "pop in his bat." He also bagged on Joey Votto for hustling out of the box, but then jogging the last half of the way to first. He also mocked Ryan Ludick for swining at a sinking fastball in the dirt. "You just NEVER see a major-league hitter swing at a fastball in the dirt. It just doesn't happen." Ludwick went on to homer twice.
John Wehner, when later asked about how he had less than one PA per game he himself played, explained, "I'm white, I hustled out of the box, I worked hard, and I'm white. I am also white, and harbor a lot of resentment for players who make the game seem easier than it was for me and Tracy Jones." Wehner then donned his clan robe and sashayed into a unisex bathroom with a young Latino poolboy to conduct terrorist training, drink RC Cola, and experience some invigorating deep-tissue massage.
Yes, friends, THAT'S John Wehner. Nothing femme about him. He might resent black athletes, but he's got a porn stache that could land him a role in some gay-on-straight movies or a period piece called "Reno 911: Lumberjacks" or "Roots 2: Crackers Fight Back."