Farmers Only: Time to Open the Robert Stephenson Window (Link-Poppin' Easter Egg Edition)

Goddammit SB Nation . . (Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images)

That's right farmers and farmettes, last night was the professional debut of the scurvy dog himself, young Robert Stephenson. Bob Steve went 5 innings, allowing just an unearned run in the first frame on just 3 hits, a walk, and a wild pitch. He struck out 8 in the process. He recorded 6 groundouts and zero fly ball outs. One particularly salty-looking scout relayed this description of the fate of first-inning strikeout victim Michael Perez:

"[Perez] made another dash [with the bat], now utterly bewildered, right under the nearest of the coming horses [94 MPH fastballs]. The rider [first-base coach] tried to save him, but in vain. Down went Pew [Perez] with a cry that rang high into the night; and the four hoofs trampled and spurned him and passed by [Cincinnati Reds prospect Robert Stephenson is a bad mama-jama]. [Perez] fell on his side, then gently collapsed upon his face, and moved no more."

On to the games:

  • Louisville beat the Yankee Babies 4-2 for Donnie Joseph's first AAA win. DoJo tossed 1.1 no-hit/one-walk innings for the the W. Dioner Navarro hoisted a solo topsail and Cody Puckett, en route to a 2-2 night, battened down a 2-run hatch to pace the offense. Ryan Feirababysgotthebends pitched OK. Up next: Chad Reineke (2-5, 4.14) hopes to make SWB walk the plank at 11:45 ante meridian.
  • Pensacola was off for the Southern League All-Star game, which the South won, 6-2. South Carolinians rejoice. Wahoos position players who saw game action didn't do a great job, as Ryan LaMarre went 0-3 from the leadoff spot, and he combined with Didi Gregorius and Josh Fellhauer to go 1-8, though The Hellflower did steal a base and Didi knocked in a run with a single. On the pitching side, Daniel Corcino didn't get in, but J.C. Sulburan passed a scoreless dutchie to notch a hold with a one-hit, one-K inning. Up next: They're off tomorrow as well.
  • Bakersfield was off as well. In related news, Billy Hamilton didn't have to pay for electricity at his apartment yesterday, as he powered the entire complex with an elaborate human-sized hamster wheel generator. They don't play until Thursday.
  • Dayton was off for their All-Star game as well. The East All-Stars secured World Series home field advantage beat the West All-Stars 18-2. The only Dragon to play was Ryan Wright, who was 1-3 with an RBI as the East's DH. They start back up on Friday.
  • The Billings Mustangs won their first game of the young season in ten innings, 2-1, thanks in part to the aforementioned scallywag Robert Stephenson's impressive pro debut. He was awesomeJekyllnHydes. Jon Matthews singled in Wagner Gomez to walk off. Fun fact: The opposing CF's name was Socrates Brito. Hope there's no hemlock in Montana. Gabriel Rosa was held hitless, but most bats were quiet in this pitcher's duel. SS Brandon Dailey did have 2 hits, but also committed his second error in as many games. Up next: Some young 'Stang will oppose Missoula at 21:05 eastern.
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