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From The Opponent's Feed™: Dandy!

In the Major League of Baseball, the announcers are separated into two groups: the play-by-play dude who calls the game, and the former player who discusses the defenders. These are their stories.

CHENG CHENG

The Reds' series with the Colorado Rockies was much better listening on the visitors' side of things (tHom was at his worst this weekend, as evidenced by the deafening silence from Chris Welsh after each of tHom's assertions and analysi). Jeff Huson, former Montreal Expo, does their color commentary. Huson was on my very first fantasy baseball team back in the pencil-paper-calculator-Sporting News days of 1989. He was not good.

TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES

They thought Homer Bailey was foolish when he was in the on-deck circle and turned his back to the hitter while a pitch was being delivered. Homer went unscathed, but it would have been more than just a little comical if a foul ball had brutally bruised his buttocks.

The following picture is what comes up first in a GIS for "Homer Bailey's butt."

Sam-lecure_medium

via www.theredsreport.com

Settle down, Cornelius.

ROCKIES ANNOUNCERS DECLARED OUR ROTATION TO BE "A DANDY."

Quite right, sir. Quite right. Now please step back, lest you soil my spats.

Dandy_medium

via 3.bp.blogspot.com

DOMINICAN DANDY

Jeff Huson remarked that Johnny Cueto has the fastest pickoff move to first that he's ever seen. I assume he meant, "for a right-hander," but Huson has been around, playing about 800 MLB games on the infield. So Cueto's got that going for him...which is nice. Especially nice for a guy who rotates like Luis Tiant and finishes like a swastika.

Johnny-cueto_medium

via sportsillustrated.cnn.com

JAY BRUCE BEST STREAKER OF ALL TIME

Huson also said that Jay Bruce is the streakiest player in the majors in the last 20 years. Even after seeing Griffey Jr. be the streak-monster that he was, I have to wholeheartedly agree.

Jay-bruce-finished-with-a-

via redlegnation.com

THAT'S NOT A BALL PARK, IT'S A SPACE STATION!

Both Rockies boothers were flabbergasted and flummoxed by Frazier's 'No-Handed' Home Run.

They were hurt that people talk about Coors Field being a home run haven in comparison to a hot, humid day in Porkopolis. Hey there, Huson, your guys are allowed to hit it deep, too...they just didn't.

4977_1338144509_jpg_medium

via content.clearchannel.com

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