FanPost

From The Opponent's Feed™: Mystic Pizza

This series with the Nationals featured play-by-play man Bob Patterson and color analyst F.P. Santangelo, whose successful campaign to reestablish sideburns in the mid-nineties overshadowed his career between the chalk lines.

Santangelo_medium

via lasordaslair.com

The interesting nuggets from the visitor's feed this week include local pizza places being cheap rat bastards, remarkable relief domination by some no-good immigrant, and Davey Johnson being accused of masturbatory efforts during a classic children's game.

This post is sponsored by Bayer™, the Wonder Drug That Works Wonders. (If anyone just got that inside joke, you win a complimentary upgrade voucher from small to medium at Hot Dog on a Schtick.)

WOLFGANG AMADEUS DEFENSE

For those among our flock who have been fearing that they've been guzzling the proverbial powdered instant drink mix, the voices in the D.C. booth are very impressed with Zack Cozart's defense, as I have been. They remarked about how the Reds infield won 3 out of 4 infield Gold Gloves® in 2011. This makes me wonder - has any team ever done that before?

Personal note on Scott Rolen's defense in 2012: I couldn't give a flying flounder what a few dozen games of defensive metrics say, I think the man played amazing defense.

RAIN DELAYS AREN'T ALL A BED OF LAROSA'S

During the nearly four-hour rain delay, the booth bunch apparently not only EMPTIED the media lunchroom, but also ordered pizza. Patterson said that there are several pizza places around the country he likes to order from, and one of those stops in in Cincinnati. They thoroughly enjoyed the pizza, which F.P. claimed caused a 7-inning food coma, but refused to plug the pizza establishment since the pepperoni pies did not arrive complementarity.

AROLDIS JOINT, AND IT SMOKES GOOD

Our opponent broadcast brethren were impressed with the attendance numbers, but were flat-out dumbstruck at the domination by Aroldis Chapman and his triple-digit discombobulation orbs. F.P. noted, "That's the best two innings of relief I've seen in a long, long time." On Saturday night he quipped, "There's 40,000 fans here wondering why he's not int he rotation."

DAVEY PLAYS WITH HIS JOHNSON

In the 7th inning of Sunday's game, Davey Johnson kept changing his mind about whom to put in the on-deck circle three times in the span of three pitches as he valiantly vacillated between allowing Tom Gorzelanny and pinch-hitter Chad Tracy. Santangelo wondered aloud if Davey Johnson was "playing checkers with himself."

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