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Around SBN: Devils Beat Rangers, Head To Stanley Cup Finals

Red Reposter - Pizza > Fruit

Dave Cameron runs down the 10 best transactions of the winter
The Madson deal checks in at #9, which I think is a little low. Also, the Mat Latos trade checks in at #3, though he thinks the Padres were run away winners in the deal:

"The Reds needed to make a deal like this, but I love this trade for the Padres. Alonso might not have star potential, but as a left-handed hitter with opposite field power, he should be able to hit well enough in Petco to be a useful piece, and there’s value in having six years of a cost controlled Wally Joyner hanging around. Grandal is the real key to this deal, though, as a switch-hitting catcher with power and patience who could easily be more valuable than Latos over the next six years by himself. Toss in a terrific buy-low arm in Edinson Volquez, who is a perfect fit for Petco, and a good young bullpen arm in Boxberger, and the Padres restocked their talent base in a hurry without drastically making their team worse for 2012. In fact, if Alonso and Volquez perform as expected, the team could actually be better than they would have been with Latos and some random first baseman. Toss in the long term value, and this deal was just a huge win for San Diego."

No news on Brandon Phillips' contract extension
Sheldon asked Jocketty if there was anything to report and he replied, "Not really. We really haven’t had a chance to talk with them. Hopefully in the next few weeks, it’s something we can address."

I'm of the opinion that if this extension were a go, it would have happened weeks ago. The Reds have to be diplomatic about this and say all the right things like "Hopefully soon" and "We are still in talks", but the fact that it has dragged out so long gives me the impression that the team and BP are just too far apart. It's gonna be tough to see ol' BeePerino go, but ultimately I think it would be even tougher to see him struggle to stay above replacement level in his mid-30s.

Tigers' owner Mike Ilitch got mad guap
and is not afraid to throw it around like Weezy in the club. Joe Sheehan says, "Ilitch represents an approach to sports-team ownership that is in short supply these days: wanting the next win more than the next dollar. Far too many franchises are run as if they're the corner grocery, with the need to stay in the black for the next month, next quarter, next year the primary goal, and winning a secondary one."

The Prince Fielder signing was roundly criticized for being enormously short-sighted. The Tigers already had a 1B (Miguel Cabrera, who is better than Prince), and a DH (Victor Martinez, who won't play in 2012 because of knee surgery). But once Vic went down, Illitch gave the directive to go after Prince. It's short-sighted and expensive, but make no mistake; the Tigers are now far and away the favorite to win the AL Central. Signing Prince made the team better, and that's the most important thing to Illitch.

I think Bob Castellini should take note, especially in regards to the Roy Oswalt sitch. Oswalt will make the team better, so much better in fact that they would likely be clear favorites to win the division this year. Making the playoffs would likely pay off whatever cost it takes to get Oswalt. See, getting Oswalt would be an investment, one that has a solid chance of paying off and then some. Illitch is the kind of guy who gets that (though to be fair, 200 million bones is ca-razy. But the argument still has merit on principle).

Da Briz sez it makes too much sense for the Roy Oswalt to not come to the Reds
To sum up, he says that for a team like the Reds, who are squarely in the middle of the contention window, every marginal upgrade counts. The difference between Roy Oswalt and Bronson Arroyo could quite literally be the difference between 1st place and 2nd place (or 3rd place, for that matter). Of course, the money is the big reason this likely will not happen, but if Bob were more like Mike Illitch, this would have been done last week.

Star-divide

Sheldon has a nice interview with prospect Ryan LaMarre
The similarities to Drew Stubbs are striking and many. He's a big, strapping specimen of an athlete. He runs like a gazelle, evidenced by his 55 steals last season. With that speed, he covers a tremendous amount of greenspace out in CF. He has a respectable walk rate and hopes to hit for some power, though that hasn't quite shown up in the games yet.

In fact, he's been consulting with Stubbs on the craft of centerfielding: "In Spring Training, I got to meet [Stubbs] and go over for a few Major League games. I watched how he played the outfield, how he went about his business. I asked him questions about what he looks for on defense and what he does. He's been open to it and helping me whenever he can. He's someone I hope I can see myself as one day." LaMarre is probably not the level of prospect Stubbs was, at least not yet. He doesn't have the same Light Tower Power, and his penchant for strikeouts isn't nearly as alarming. His defense doesn't look as strong as Stubbs' either. He's very much a Stubbs-lite at this point in his career. He has room to grow though, so he's certainly one to keep an eye on moving forward.

Say what you like about Billy Beane
Some love him, some hate him, some think it's funny that his name is food. He is certainly the most polarizing GM in baseball. I wager that no other front office exec is the subject of as many internet stories as Mr. Beane. One thing is for sure though, and that is that he is an Oakland Athletic 4eva. Beane signed a contract extension with the A's that keeps him running the team through 2019. He took the job in 1998, so if he plays out this contract, he will have been the A's GM for 21 years. That's probably a record or something, right?

David Schoenfield has position rankings by division
It's kinda un-scientificky, but hey, Spring Training hasn't started yet and we are all really scraping just to keep the conversation going. It's all well-worth the read, but here's the takeway:

"As much as everyone seems to be building the NL Central as a two-team battle between the Cardinals and Reds, I see the Brewers remaining good enough to be in the thick of the race. They have the fewest questions marks in the rotation, and that makes them a decent bet in my book. I agree with other prognosticators who see this division split into two levels. But you never know ... it is, after all, still the NL Central, where anything can happen."

Tom Verducci at SI marvels at the number of good, young pitching talent that was traded this off-season
Five pitchers 25 years old or younger who had established themselves as Major League regulars were traded in the past few months, our own Mat Latos counted among them. A total of six such pitchers had been traded in the previous nine years (Edwin Jackson was traded twice). So The Dootch ranks the five young bucks on the move of this off-season, with Latos slotted in at #2 behind Gio Gonzalez (I think he's wrong). Here's what he said:

"One of the reasons Arizona traded (Max) Scherzer to Detroit after the '09 season was that they believed Edwin Jackson was a better bet to withstand the grind of making 32 starts than Scherzer. Similar doubts could plague Latos, who has been pitching in the pros for five years and accumulated only 614 1/3 innings. He began last season with shoulder bursitis after what I found to be an aggressive jump in innings in the previous season. His velocity has dipped slightly the past two seasons.

The good news for Latos is that he pitched well in the second half of the season (2.87) and he is a four-pitch pitcher, not just a velocity guy, with a big frame (6-foot-6, 225 pounds) who doesn't turn 25 until December. Said the evaluator, "I like Latos. I don't know if he's quite there just yet. People questioned his makeup in the past -- like another A.J. Burnett -- but he could be ready to turn the corner."

Doug Gray at RedsMinorLeagues takes a look at a few Reds prospects who saw their star dim this past season
Junior Arias, Ismael Guillon, and Cody Puckett all fell off as the 2011 summer wore on, and for various reasons. There is hope for them yet, as Doug explains, but it's still disappointing. I was a particularly big fan of Guillon, so I really hope he gets his stuff together this year.

Chris Sabo's Goggles is holding a contest to find a new banner for the website
I thought for a second about opening up such a contest for a new logo here at Red Reporter, but then I thought better of it. You all would mostly submit pictures of guys with sweatpants boners, animated fart clouds, and unfortunate children of the third world with decidedly first world captions over their heads. Anyway, it's a cool thang for CSG to be doing, and if you have any ideas for him, help him out.

Florence Green was the last living veteran of The Great War, the War To End All Wars
She died on Saturday at the age of 110. This obviously has nothing to do with baseball, but if you would indulge my interest in 20th century history. It's fascinating to look back and see the state of the world after WWI. Western society bore witness to the unfathomable destruction that can take place when we are both technologically capable enough and morally naïve enough to make it happen. Ms. Green was the last active participant in the orchestration of the great crucible upon which the Lost Generation earned it's moniker. She and her comrades were supposed to be the last, having spilled enough blood to quench mankind's thirst for violence until our civilization's dying days. And yet, so much death and destruction has followed. And we are all so much more different than her for it. 100 years on, a healthy and long lifetime later, the world is a far different place. And hopefully, a better one.

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"premonition" by John Fogerty is an underrated son

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:11 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

But not a "Fortunate Son."

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

No, that's The Old Man Down the Road.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 2:54 PM EST up reply actions  

He dates a couple of Roller Derby gals.

They’re called Rock ‘n’ Roll Girls.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions  

Heh

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

I almost did this joke,

But backed off for some reason.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

I find it is best just to lob every joke you have out there

and see what sticks.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:41 PM EST up reply actions  

Quantity =/= Quality

Or else C.C. Sabathia would be the world’s best pitcher.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:47 PM EST up reply actions  

He'll get in.

If they are keeping him out because of the massive quantities of cocaine he ingested, they’ll have to kick the entire 80’s out of the hall.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 1:25 PM EST up reply actions  

I always liked Carlos.

I hope he gets a job in the Majors. Hopefully in the AL.

by Joe Nolan's Neckbeard on Feb 8, 2012 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

he might still be in the Reds organization

depending on service time and if he has been DFA’d before he might be forced to accept the DFA.

He is one of those fringe guys who may be out of baseball or pitching independent league ball in a few years, or might find a niche as a serviceable and forgettable middle reliever.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:19 PM EST up reply actions  

I figured it would be him

There’s no way he makes the roster, and he’s out of options.

I’d guess the Reds were trying to work out a trade, and that’s why they waited so long.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 8, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

I think Fisher is out of option years

I know he burned an option in 2010 and 2011, if he burned an option in 2009, Walt probably figures it is highly unlikely he will break camp with the team anyway, so just DFA him now, rather than later.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:22 PM EST up reply actions  

I bet he shopped the hell out of Fish

But actually needed his roster spot for a useful MLB caliber player enough to DFA him. So Ludwick take his spot? Is the roster full?

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions  

If Fisher has options he is useful

he is the guy you can bounce between AAA and MLB, based on injuries or pitching needs, and you can abuse him, like the Reds did in Philly.

But yeah, if some team claims him on waivers, I highly doubt the Reds will be kicking themselves over it in 5 years Trever Hoffman-style.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:27 PM EST up reply actions  

awww, dangit.

I really liked Ol’ Charles. Hopefully he sticks around somewhere enough for a gig and a pension.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 2:21 PM EST up reply actions  

If nothing else

he did a helluva job in that Philly game.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:22 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah, but he lost

which is why Walt went out and got the winning pitcher.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Feb 8, 2012 2:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh good, there is logic to it all.

Because from the outside it almost looks like Jocketty is pulling rabbits out of a hat.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

That he changed his name from Charles Fisher to Carlos Fisher,

that he played college ball at Lewis & Clark, and that he was the sacrificial lamb of all sacrificial lambs in that road-trip-of-death, as the pitcher of record in three different extra inning games.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 2:24 PM EST up reply actions  

oh

i guess you know a lot more about him than i do.

charles is a quality name though

by 'tHan on Feb 8, 2012 2:25 PM EST up reply actions  

I liked Fisher a lot too

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 8, 2012 6:13 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm with you

I wrote him a love letter last season.

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 8, 2012 6:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Evansville

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 8:01 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah

i really showed Cy.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 10:59 AM EST up reply actions  

The road trip of death is why I like him

He kept going back out there, and ended up throwing 90 pitches over 6+ innings. He wasn’t conditioned to do that, he could have taken himself out of the game, but he tried to gut through it.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:28 PM EST up reply actions  

what does being a small market have to do with it?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:32 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't know what small market has to do with it

I am sure the New York Yankees have some no-name roster filler relief pitchers on their 40 man, whose job it is to bounce between Scranton and New York when injuries occur or the bullpen is so taxed they need another arm.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, with options and/or upside.

Terrible example. We dig through the remains of the Yanks garbage heap quite often.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 2:38 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah, those guys are totally disposable

You have to pick and choose who is going to take innings or ABs on your big league club. Giving them to a loser like Fisher is only going to hurt you in the long run.

Let someone else have a go if you can’t pitch.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 2:37 PM EST up reply actions  

That may be, and Fisher is pretty disposible

but you have yet to connect that to why it is more important for a small market team to do that.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

but that has nothing to do with being a small market

Fisher was flushed because he is out of options, and he is no longer useful to bounce between Louisville and Cincinnati.

The same thing would be necessary for a large market team.

And FWIW, Fisher wasn’t terrible last year, especially for a fringy guy who eats innings in emergency situations.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions  

he did a hell of a job

he either threw 5 or 6 scoreless innings.

Fisher isn’t a great pitcher, but he was very good that night.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Sounds like the name of a leader, someone who takes charge

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 2:37 PM EST up reply actions  

He's got the free time

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 5:02 PM EST up reply actions  

spend part of his time modeling

and part of his time next to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 8:02 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Fisher is a very nice guy.

I met him last summer. He came into the restaurant I was working at to have dinner with his lady friend after he got a loss against the Dodgers. I bought him a beer, and I think he was shocked that someone recognized him and didn’t heckle him for blowing the game.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Feb 8, 2012 3:07 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

now that Hamilton isn't on the team

I don’t think there’s a single Red I wouldn’t buy a beer for.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Did he have blood on his hands?

Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun

@btcoop71

by btcoop71 on Feb 8, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm not sure. But we all miss that poor baby giraffe

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 8, 2012 3:46 PM EST up reply actions  

I hadn't noticed lamarre was big and strapping

He seemed smaller than me when he passed by.

If he is six two, them I’m six three! #CallMeJCH

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:10 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions   1 recs

I posted the most awesome FanPost ever, where did it go?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 2:14 PM EST reply actions  

It was an SIS asking what people's favorite non-mainstream band is

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

that would have been brutal

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:17 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions   1 recs

wait...what?

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 2:21 PM EST up reply actions  

Everyone jokes about someone being on the road to Madville, but obc is IT

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 2:39 PM EST up reply actions  

I smell a bowling alley tour next year

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Feb 8, 2012 7:58 PM EST up reply actions  

It's the same thing, different names.

Western Bowl = Terry’s Turf Club. It’s the best, though some won’t admit it.

Madison Bowl = Herb and Thelma’s. Not the greatest, but it gets a boost from the sentimental types.

Cherry Grove Lanes = Roher’s.

by FordhamRam on Feb 8, 2012 8:20 PM EST up reply actions  

Is Brentwood Bowl still around?

That’s where I used to go as a kid, but I haven’t been there since high school. I imagine it’s pretty seedy.

by the finest muffins on Feb 8, 2012 8:39 PM EST up reply actions  

I might suggest a caravan to the Beaver-Vu Lanes in Beavercreek.

If they are still open, they are near Beaver Valley.

I wish I was making these awesome names up.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 3:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Who's the new Omar?

I think he’s implying that Red Reporter is an immobile institution and despite (or because of) the efforts of the individual, the “system” will continue to oppress the lowly commenter and contribute to the slow death of the American Internets.

The Wire Season 5’d

by MC Reds Hot on Feb 8, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions  

I gotta tell you guys when everytime I get high...

I’m going to have to join twitter.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 2:50 PM EST up reply actions  

@obc2

I’m in!

I’m drankin tonight! (apple tried to change drankin to frankenscence….wtf?)

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:57 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 3:04 PM EST up reply actions  

.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 2:51 PM EST up reply actions  

.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 2:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Wow, I just assumed there were no World War One veterans still alive.

It is hard for me to fathom that until Saturday, there was still somebody alive who has a first hand account of WWI, and also went through the personal stuff like dating WWI pilots.

Thank you for that Scrabbles.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:17 PM EST reply actions  

This dude

Survived both atomic bombs. Badass.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

My dad survived both, as well.

He wasn’t in Japan.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 2:58 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Your dad must be really smart.

Or a coward.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Maybe both.

First of all, he chose the winning side. :)

He signed up for the U.S. Navy to avoid being drafted into the Army.

A veteran once told me that my dad was a hero because he enlisted. My dad never saw it that way, so I never really did until this vet spoke up.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Two of John Tyler's granddaughters are alive

That’s John Tyler, the tenth president of the United States, who succeeded William “30 Day” Henry Harrison. His granddaughters. Two of them.

Insanity.

by Brendanukkah on Feb 8, 2012 4:51 PM EST up reply actions  

He's no Franklin Pierce

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 8, 2012 6:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Franklin Pierce was almost as shitty a president as W.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 6:20 PM EST up reply actions  

We had a pretty bad run before Lincoln

Pierce and Buchanan were both among the worst we’ve ever had

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 6:33 PM EST up reply actions  

They're both called mittens?

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Feb 8, 2012 7:31 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

They bent their Wookies?

"This is the St. Louis Cardinals we're talking about. They suck. Screw them. With a shovel. The sharp metal end. And then set them on fire." - crolfer

by rorschach1979 on Feb 9, 2012 10:37 AM EST up reply actions  

That IS insane

They’re grandsons though, right?

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 8, 2012 6:15 PM EST up reply actions  

remember, Grammy's are this Sunday

Live thread surely to post on this here sbnation blog!

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:18 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions  

Edwin is blaring on the Kroger PA

Definitely a good decision.

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:23 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions  

he's a ticking time bomb

Screaming for attention.

Once an addict…

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:29 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

Once an addict

Always a lightening rod.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 2:31 PM EST up reply actions  

pictured: lightening rod

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 2:32 PM EST up reply actions  

I feel like i could plug that thing into my Marshall half stack

Not sure what to do after that.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 2:34 PM EST up reply actions  

It's an electric light.

Orchestrate, good sir.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 2:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Hmmm

What kind of strange magic is that?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 8, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

it's Punnesday!!

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:40 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

Again with the "Hitler should have had this..." or "Hitler should have had that..."

You know what Hitler should have had? Dune buggies! THERE. I said it.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Perfection.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

What a sellout

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

the guy who got it on tape seems like a real classy gentleman.

(not that bar bathroom sex isn’t classy itself).

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:30 PM EST up reply actions  

"I don't always use my phone to record people have sex in bathroom stalls.."

“But when I do, I assume it to be valued at no less that $41,000.”

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 2:36 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

the restaurant employees

blocked off the bathroom so he could boink another patron?

Is that what expensive restaurants do? Jeez. I’d have been expected to call the cops and get them outta there when I worked in food service.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 8, 2012 6:06 PM EST up reply actions  

I guess the janitors aren't "employees"

Or maybe, I dunno, it’s made up.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 6:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Porcini's in Louisville is even more accommodating

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 8:36 AM EST up reply actions  

$41,000 seems like a very random number

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 2:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Reminds me..

To my knowledge, no one here has mentioned the Cashman sex scandal. I found out about it almost by accident.

What’s going on here people?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 5:01 PM EST up reply actions  

it's not much of a scandal

He and Mrs. Cashman have been separated for awhile now.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 8, 2012 5:07 PM EST up reply actions  

$41,000,000 is "Holin'" Ryan

That should be retired in Texas though.

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 8, 2012 6:16 PM EST up reply actions  

who is going to be RR'ers 2012 whip object?

I say Ludwick. And Harris.

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:35 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions  

Will Harris even be on the roster?

Valdez would be a much better choice.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:36 PM EST up reply actions  

I doubt Harris plays enough to be hated.

You’re probably right on Ludwick, especially if Dusty doesn’t play Heisey enough.

Stubbs would be my guess, because I think he’s the only player we don’t have a great idea of how he’ll preform.

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 2:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Badroyo.

Especially every time Oswalt beats the Reds.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions  

The Street Car pisses me off

I like mass transit, and I don’t think all government spending is bad, but this is such fodder for teabaggers to say, you see the government always wastes your tax dollars, and when nobody uses the streetcar, they will say, see nobody likes public transportation.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

the streetcar makes no sense for me.

No bike rack. And I can bike 15 miles, twice a day if I wanted to.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 2:43 PM EST up reply actions  

It also seems to connect nobody to nothing

The Streetcar should be the final phase of a regional transportation project, not the first face.

I think the region would benefit (especially as gas prices continue to escalate) from a large mass transportation project, perhaps a commuter rail line that runs from Cincinnati to Dayton, with stops in the cities in between, and the Eastern Corridor Commuter Rail Line, which actually could use a great deal of existing tracks and would be at a similar cost to the Street Car. Also connecting the airport to the city via light rail of some sort would be a good idea as well.

Also upgrade the bus system, so they take people on more direct routes and they don’t have to pretty much transfer in Downtown Cincinnati anytime they need to change buses.

If you do all that, and actually have a way to bring people into the city a streetcar makes much more sense.

I also firmly believe as the cost of fuel continues to rise, we will reach a point where cities will have to have strong public transportation systems in order to still be viable places for people to live and work.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:51 PM EST up reply actions  

Airport to downtown would be huge, that needs to happen

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions  

why not

what would we lose?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 2:54 PM EST up reply actions  

The Carew Tower, the Atrium buildings, a couple of floors off Lytle Place?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions  

you realize, that was a sarcastic not serious comment?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:13 PM EST up reply actions  

A TON of airplane noise?

The safety of those many people living in the flight path?

The cost of buying all the land needed?

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey, ease off a minute.

I think he’s talking about one of those floating-cloud airports.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 3:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Sorry, my bad.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

eh, nobody flies out of that airport anyway

cincinnati should work on getting transportation to the dayton, columbus, indianapolis, lexington & louisville airports

by 'tHan on Feb 8, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I flew direct to cancun and NYC from Cincy

But my wife’s last trip flew from Indy.

CVG is almost a morgue now

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 3:10 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

just got an email re CVG best deals

176 RT to Kansas city
176 RT to Baltimore
239 RT to Cleveland
337 RT to Indy
228 RT to Orlando

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 3:14 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

how much to Dayton!?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Wow, those are 5 very shitty cities.

Some would argue the five shittiest of cities.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 3:15 PM EST up reply actions  

great

Cy is a goddamned racist.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

you mean the Kansas City where the entire historic downtown was bulldozed for a "Power and Light District"

that didn’t allow black people within its grounds unless they’re performers? Because yeah, that Kansas City.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I'm not trying to argue any particular high ground.

I just want to go to the Negro Leagues Hall of Fame. I’m sure I’ve visited a lot of cities that treated African-Americans worse.

by andromache on Feb 8, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

I figured you were going for a KCMO or KCKS joke.

But yeah, at some point this spring I plan to catch a Sporting KC match, go to the Negro Leagues Museum and eat an absurd amount of barbecue.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 3:29 PM EST up reply actions  

I lol'd

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Personally, I won't fly anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line

Or any state where the red man was evicted or slaughtered by white man.

by Brian B on Feb 9, 2012 11:16 PM EST via mobile up reply actions   1 recs

Nah, STL isn't there

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

hey!

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions  

/trollface

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

ah

some people treat Baltimore like DC’s third airport, because it is often cheaper than the two in DC.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

I once flew to Providence to get to Boston

it included taking a bus from the Providence Airport to Downtown Providence, a half a mile walk from the bus stop to the train station, a 45 minute wait for the train, and a 70 minute train ride to downtown Boston. And did that in reverse order when I left Boston.

I think it saved me like $40, it was not one more my better decisions.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:21 PM EST up reply actions  

Also a MARC train

And the fact that it’s called Baltimore-Washington International Airport could be why some people consider it a Washington airport.

by Brendanukkah on Feb 8, 2012 5:00 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

FWIW...

I live outside DC. BWI is my first choice for an airport in this area. It’s easier to get to and Southwest flies out of there, so it’s way cheaper. I think you have to live pretty far on the Virginia side of the District to not consider BWI a legitimate airport option.

Trying to pull off "having no money and talking to no one" as well as the Reds have.

by badenjr on Feb 8, 2012 4:03 PM EST up reply actions  

I never spent any time in Indy as an adult

But I did love Union Station and the Children’s Museum.

But Orlando really is terrible.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 8, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

No...

They spend a lot of money to make it seem like a good place. It’s still a bad place underneath.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 8, 2012 3:48 PM EST up reply actions  

Sigh

Yeah, it probably is, but we were poor so I never got to go there.

Apparently it’s still a sore subject.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 8, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

or Gatorland or Margaritaville or wekiwa springs state park

Or spring training games or airboating or well, that’s about it.

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 3:49 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

Don't forget sweating from the ungodly heat and humidity.

I once played basketball in Orlando. It got so hot I got chills down my arms. I took that as a warning sign.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

I misread "chills" as "clitoris"

I don’t know what this says about me, but I’m sure it is nothing good.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 8, 2012 3:52 PM EST up reply actions  

apparently you just outted yourself as a sex offender.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:53 PM EST up reply actions  

I was really let down by the Children's Museum

I thought it was going to have a lot of kid skeletons, but instead it was a bunch of baby stuff.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 8, 2012 4:07 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 4:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Eh, I guess so

I mean, I was just disappointed, you know?

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 8, 2012 5:06 PM EST up reply actions  

You will not be disappointed by the Mutter

World’s largest colon! In the city of the world’s largest assholes. Makes sense.

by Brendanukkah on Feb 8, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Come on now

ken is not the world’s largest asshole.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 8, 2012 5:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey!

I prefer “most inflamed”

by ken on Feb 9, 2012 1:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Okay

We’ll settle on “most herniated”.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 1:19 PM EST up reply actions  

parts of Einstein's brain, John Wilkes Booth's achilles tendon..

lots of conjoined babies/fetuses.. the soap woman.. plus lots of other weird shit, including the skull wall

lotta great drankin’ venues around the Mutter as well

The ends justify the means

by Highlifeman21 on Feb 10, 2012 2:15 AM EST up reply actions  

Have you been there?

I’ve been there.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 5:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Yes

It’s fantastic. My biggest gripe is they don’t sell a plush toy of the world’s largest colon.

by Brendanukkah on Feb 8, 2012 5:34 PM EST up reply actions  

They do! You just have to unwrap it.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 5:35 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

337 to Indy?

They realize it’s like a 2 hour drive there, right?

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

My thoughts exactly

We should get a bus and transport people there for 100, BYOB.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 3:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Megabus will get you there!

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

But mine has beer!

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

take a flast and special brownie

it works on Amtrak.

I got nice and drunk the one time I used Amtrak, and then we sat for 4 hours, and I was sober again.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Nope, Mine has piss beer and MexiMelts for everyone.

That’s not a bad idea at all.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 3:47 PM EST up reply actions  

If it is free, I'll drink the piss beer if I am stuck on a bus.

But I would still want a flask.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

Flast, per Urban Dictionary:

Young, intellectual Christian poon.

Church group middle school females.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions  

so I apparently just outted myself as a sex offender...

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Old news,

Willis’d

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 3:54 PM EST up reply actions  

or a regional airport that serves Dayton, Cincinnati, and Columbus.

put it near the Jeffersonville outlets. Then there would be direct flights to everywhere, like DFW.

by GrooveLeg on Feb 8, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Dallas?

Pass it by!

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 3:31 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

If there were no aiports

I bet they would build a giant Cincinnati Dayton airport in Monroe.

I think Columbus is a bit far away to not have its own airport.

But that would probably raise airfares, as Dayton keeps lower fares to lure people from Cincinnati.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

I think if they lose one more airline...

…that could be the end.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions  

The death blow was dealt long ago

Of course Dayton would not have the dignity to die instantly and make the world a better place.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 8, 2012 3:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Lima'd

Hamilton’d
Cleveland’d
Rockford IL’d
Middletown’d
Stuebenville’d
Detroit’d

Lost In Middle America’d

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Lima'd

Lidle’d
Kile’d

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 5:20 PM EST up reply actions  

Ha!

I can make a compelling argument for both states, but I generally side with Ohio for being the literal birthplace. Plus, their store was in Dayton and that’s all I have to be proud of my hometown.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 1:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Let's say they put it near the Jeffersonville Outlets (tons of farmland out there, right on 71)

From the city of Cincinnati (downtown), you’re looking at about 64 miles. From Dayton (downtown) it’s about 40 miles. From Columbus (downtown) is about 43 miles.

So Cincy would hurt the worst, BUT most everybody lives north of the city in Cincy so from like Blue Ash it would only be about 53 miles.

The payoff is huge though. Direct flights to damn near everywhere, businesses would benefit

by GrooveLeg on Feb 8, 2012 4:39 PM EST up reply actions  

I might be wrong here

But I think you are incorrect on the “most everybody lives north of the city” part. Like, really incorrect.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 4:40 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah you are right.

what I was trying to articulate is that not many people would be making that drive from the downtown area. i realized it after i posted that was untrue.

but did it take away from my genius idea so much that you had to point that out? jerk…

by GrooveLeg on Feb 8, 2012 4:43 PM EST up reply actions  

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 5:07 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

i was trying to figure this out.

best i can tell from wikipedia, somewhere around of 20% of cincinnati’s core metro area population lives in northern kentucky. another 4 or so percent are from indiana.

around 38% live in cincinnati

by 'tHan on Feb 8, 2012 4:50 PM EST up reply actions  

and people who live North of Dayton and North of Columbus would suffer.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 8:04 PM EST up reply actions  

I think we'd do okay

We have our own airport, you know. It flies to Chicago and New York and everything.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 8, 2012 8:39 PM EST up reply actions  

You can even get a latte and buy a book for the ride!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 9:03 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah, but I think in Grooveleg's plan, that airport disappears too.

which if I interrupted that right, would really suck for people in Mansfield, Lima, Findlay, etc.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 9:22 PM EST up reply actions  

I know we're talking hypothetical alternate Ohio universes here but..

The state and Uncle Sam just finished 670 which is like a super cool airport expressway that services a majority of businesses and industries here. And not a lot of people live on the southwest side so this just ain’t gonna happen.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 9:35 PM EST up reply actions  

i never said it would

and i think, even if there were no airport in Columbus, CIncinnati, or Dayton, it would be bad to build just one airport in the middle of all 3.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 9:36 PM EST up reply actions  

I'd like it.

That’s 20 minutes from my house instead of the 40 to DAY, 65 to CMH, or the ungodly 75 to CVG.

"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK

by ZJiff30 on Feb 8, 2012 11:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

I’m saying replace DAY and CMH with a mega airport that serves all three cities.

by GrooveLeg on Feb 9, 2012 8:50 AM EST up reply actions  

mega airports should be banned

everything about large airports stinks, especially having to get there way too freaking early and the flight delays from too much air traffic!

by Daedalus on Feb 9, 2012 1:20 PM EST up reply actions  

so that is why she kicked me out of bed last night

:(

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 2:30 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

LAX and Midway suck.

In LA we all go out of our way to fly out of smaller airports like Burbank, Ontario, and Long Beach.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions  

I prefered Midway to O'Hare

O’Hare is just so far away from the city.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:05 PM EST up reply actions  

O'Hare does have nicer amenities

But is much more delay prone and is much further from the city.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 10, 2012 1:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Someday I'll have tell y'all of my fun day in O'Hare

It involved the following:

An awol Army Captain
His slutty GF
Smoking Hashish in the men’s room
LSD.

and more…

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Feb 10, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

were you Doc Ellis's personal assistant?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 10, 2012 4:03 PM EST up reply actions  

This needs to be discussed

on the next burger tour stop.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Feb 11, 2012 2:27 AM EST up reply actions  

When is our next BurgerFest...

I will tell once again the tale of the Captain who decided to change world and stop the Viet Nam war by dispensing travel aids to who would partake in Chicago’s busiest Airport.

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Feb 11, 2012 5:32 AM EST up reply actions  

And Atlanta

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 9:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Even Atlanta has flights to Atlanta.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 9:32 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Not to Mississippi though.

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Feb 9, 2012 1:47 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

But it would probably really suck for people who pay for their own tickets

Both tourists and small businesses.

Cincinnati is really expensive, but Columbus and and Dayton are not. If you turn three airports into one, you just have one really expensive airport due to a lack of competition and a reduction in capacity.

The biggest winners would be the airlines.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 9:38 PM EST up reply actions  

cvg is too expensive

unreal how much more it is than dayton, which is just up the street, smaller, less crowded, and is one of the better airport experiences.

by Daedalus on Feb 9, 2012 1:16 PM EST up reply actions  

THEY SHOULD USE THAT MONEY TO FIX THE CITY BUDGET INSTEAD!!!

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 5:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Respect my authoritah!

by BigBadBruce on Feb 8, 2012 11:23 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

If I was in town, I'd totally do the shaved head thing.

I look even more gorgeous bald. :)

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 2:53 PM EST up reply actions  

high and tight is the way to go

Hair is overrated

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 2:55 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

/Raven Riley'd

No behind left behind.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:00 PM EST up reply actions  

I am willing to shave my head

Of course, I shave it already, but I will grow it out and shave it off again for charity.

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 8, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

In more local news

The Cincinnati Museum Center needs $141M for repairs.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 4:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Large amounts only require small articles.

The writer forced a paragraph and went to get a couple rally burgers.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 4:10 PM EST up reply actions  

the Big Rog Rollin on home to you is not my favorite

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 3:00 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions  

Fun times from my Media Litigation book:

Pring v. Penthouse International Ltd. where the defendant denied liability for implication that Miss America contestant was able to levitate men by oral sex.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 3:17 PM EST reply actions  

Dave Cameron's analysis

No mention of the players the Reds dealt being blocked or being terrible in ’11.
No mention of the fact that the Reds cut $4M in salary with the deal.
No mention of the fact that Latos is actually younger than 2 of the players dealt.

“The Reds needed to make a deal like this…”
“This is a huge win for San Diego.”

Does not compute.

I don’t think there’s a major analyst out there that overvalues future potential more than Cameron.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Feb 8, 2012 3:29 PM EST reply actions  

I think he was just being lazy in this particular piece

In general, I like him enough. But yeah, this one elicited an eye roll.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 8, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

I think he's pretty consistent about overvaluing potential

I’m just ranting about this piece, but I could probably find a half-dozen more where he overrates and player’s long-term potential and bashes a deal because of it.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Feb 8, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Sure

this is one area where he’s bad, but that doesn’t mean he’s a terrible analyst by any means.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Feb 8, 2012 4:23 PM EST up reply actions  

I think he's gotten worse in the past 6 months or so.

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 8, 2012 9:14 PM EST up reply actions  

Probably the cancer

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 9:18 PM EST up reply actions  

I didn't want to say it, but maybe so.

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 8, 2012 9:24 PM EST up reply actions  

You don't think his attention shifted a little bit when he was in chemo?

I’m not blaming the guy. I think it would happen to everyone. I doubt your quality of work is as high when you’re fighting for your life.

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 8, 2012 9:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Well, I think his quality in general has gotten worse.

He’s always had a 13 year old girl-style crush on prospects.

Maybe I’m just becoming more aware of his flaws though.

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 8, 2012 10:56 PM EST up reply actions  

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 8:43 AM EST up reply actions  

My favorite argument against the Latos trade is

The Reds gave up too much high end young talent and if Latos is so good why did San Deigo trade him anyway.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Several people wrote things in teh same sentence

and it is like, you can’t say the Reds gave up too much, and than say Latos is really good so why would the Padres trade him; as I assume they are insinuating that the Padres think his arm is going to blow up or he is too much of a head case.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:36 PM EST up reply actions  

I concur!

She started fast but she’s approaching #HotYogaville

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 3:42 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

Even if you assume that the Padres were winners in that trade...

…that doesn’t mean that the Reds are losers in that trade. Both teams win, ideally.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:44 PM EST up reply actions  

that's my point

How can it be a deal the Reds had to make AND a huge win for the Padres. I think it’s a good deal for both teams.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Feb 8, 2012 3:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Both teams got what they needed.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 3:48 PM EST up reply actions  

I'll respectfully disagree with you on this...

I didn’t feel like Cameron crapped on the Reds. It was a huge win for the Padres, and that was the angle he was taking with awarding them the 3rd spot on his list. It was also a huge win for the Reds because of their “win now” leanings, but that wasn’t stated and shouldn’t have been. Had he awarded the Reds a spot on the list, it would have been. Honestly, I thought that this deal should have made the list twice – once for each team. They both improved dramatically in the ways they were looking to improve.

Trying to pull off "having no money and talking to no one" as well as the Reds have.

by badenjr on Feb 8, 2012 4:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Then don't call it a win

A win means that the other team lost, especially in a huge win.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Feb 8, 2012 4:24 PM EST up reply actions  

I would say that it was a huge win for the Padres

and a good move for the Reds at the same time. I don’t see why it can’t be both.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 8, 2012 6:29 PM EST up reply actions  

I

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 8, 2012 6:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Zimbra

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 6:34 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Robot?

Ugh… I’d stop short of calling it a “huge” win. I think Cameron and others overrate Volquez and his liability. But that you’re right – both teams have different criteria for success right now, so it’s not a zero-sum.

Mgr., Red Reporter

"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."

by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 8, 2012 6:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Volquez-Hamilt--KILLS SELF

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Feb 9, 2012 2:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Settle down, we don't know that's how Hamilton's life will end.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 4:11 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

And FWIW...

Hamilton purchased for $100k in Rule V draft
Hamilton traded, in part, for Volquez
Volquez wins 17 games and becomes an All-Star rookie, then gets injured
Hamilton becomes an All-Star and MVP, yet struggles to stay sober and on-the field
Volquez traded, in part for Mat Latos.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 4:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Petey has been using wins and WHIP a lot

Volquez did lead the staff in ERA and if he wouldn’t have missed his last start due to knee surgery (I am guessing he would have pitched if the game had more meaning) he would have thrown 200+ innings that year.

Volquez was the Reds best pitcher in 2008, there is no reason to pretend that he wasn’t.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:23 PM EST up reply actions  

sure he was good in 2008

he was very good the first half of that year.

unfortunately, the everything else

by 'tHan on Feb 9, 2012 4:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Everyone makes fun of it

But I would say the Smoltz/Alexander trade was.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Not necessarily

Not all transactions are zero-sum games. A deal like Hamilton-Volquez is, because both guys still have years of cost control. But it’s possible that getting Latos was a +7 for CIN and +10 for SDP, to make up my own ranking system.

by ken on Feb 9, 2012 1:16 PM EST up reply actions  

could you use WAR here?

That’s my first thought, but then I think of marginal wins: Latos bumping Reds from 82-85 wins > those 4 bumping the Padres from 72-85 wins.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 1:42 PM EST up reply actions  

If the guys we dealt create 13 wins, then Volquez will win another ROY

Don’t forget that San Diego saves some money in the medium term. They’ll pay more this year because of Volquez, but they also get three really cheap years for Alonso and Grandal.

by ken on Feb 9, 2012 1:57 PM EST up reply actions  

and don't deal with Latos' esscalating contract.

The truth is, I’m an idiot and I meant to write “72-75” for Los Padres.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 2:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Then use a different phrase than "huge win"

I agree that trades aren’t zero sum. Therefore, stop using language that implies they are.

Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!

by Slyde on Feb 9, 2012 7:16 PM EST up reply actions  

I loved this line.
Toss in a terrific buy-low arm in Edinson Volquez, who is a perfect fit for Petco

Is there a pitcher who isn’t a perfect fit for Petco?

by ben nevis on Feb 8, 2012 3:30 PM EST reply actions  

Sabathia isn't too big to fit in Petco.

But only because it doesn’t have a dome.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 3:46 PM EST up reply actions  

War Bacon joke

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Feb 8, 2012 8:09 PM EST up reply actions  

A top-of-the-line star FA pitcher with a huge GB rate is not ideal for Petco.

Actually, any pitcher who commands market rates is not ideal for Petco, because why the hell should you pay market rate when you can get 70-80% of the efficacy from retreads and young guys?

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 8, 2012 6:31 PM EST up reply actions  

Because the other team gets the same advantage from being in Petco.

All pitchers improve in Petco, so you can’t just run a replacement-level player out there and expect him to beat a #3 starter, but you can expect him to pitch about a run worse than whomever the Padres are facing.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 7:29 PM EST up reply actions  

When the run environment is depressed enough

all pitchers are pushed closer to each other (and offensive players are as well).

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 8, 2012 7:41 PM EST up reply actions  

not sure about that

you can make a good argument that SF’s success in AT&T is due to superior pitching in a low scoring game.

< geek on >
if each team has an low expected scoring rate, then the Poisson tail for multirun games goes way down, and the Poisson probability of scoring no runs goes up a lot. The derivative of the probability of zero runs is highest when the expected run level is low. Therefore…

If you are in a depressed run environment, and you assume runs are Poisson distributed, you can make a good argument for getting really good pitching and letting your offense go.

SF’s record in 1-run games last year was either a huge outlier from the expected 50/50, or they really have built a team with an uncanny ability to win low scoring games.
< geek off >

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Feb 9, 2012 1:55 AM EST up reply actions  

I think you are proving my point as well

when the tail for muiltirun games is virtually non-existent, you can afford to roll with pitchers who ordinarily would be multirun guys but who are now shifted into low-runs guys by the run environment. Since there’s an absolute floor on the RA (0), having a guy who is already close to that floor is going to provide minimal upgrade over the guy who is pushed close to that floor but just not quite as close as the really good pitcher.

Also, since it’s an integer distribution (no partial runs), bad pitchers are going to get much more benefit than good pitchers on a game-by-game basis.

I suppose we could debate this, but I feel like I am right!

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 9, 2012 8:47 AM EST up reply actions  

You always feel like you're right

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 9, 2012 8:52 AM EST up reply actions  

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 8:54 AM EST up reply actions  

"Follow me on Twitter!"

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 9:05 AM EST up reply actions  

What do the horns have to do with the Raiders?

I feel like he’s trying to sneak in some Satanic imagery on us. I won’t be tricked that easily though, you devil!

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 10:10 AM EST up reply actions  

Maybe you should ask this guy?

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Feb 9, 2012 10:15 AM EST up reply actions  

Maybe I shouldn't

Maybe I should just put my head down and cross quickly to the other side of the street.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 10:16 AM EST up reply actions  

WELCOME!!!!!!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 10:22 AM EST up reply actions  

That's true

or else I wouldn’t bother posting something I felt was wrong. Makes sense.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 9, 2012 8:54 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Yeah you're a regular Derek

I know what you’re about. We’re still cool!

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 9, 2012 3:13 PM EST up reply actions  

and by Derek, kcgard would like to sell a couple of vowels and a consonants

and by the I vowel, and pick pick C to finish the puzzle.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:07 PM EST up reply actions  

i had a bit of a lag after i pressed post

and i saw “by” and I was like noooooooooooooooooo come back!

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:08 PM EST up reply actions  

What in the hell are you talking about??

now that I think I’ve figured it out, it was the most tortured attempt at a joke ever. But don’t ever change, Yossi.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 9, 2012 4:34 PM EST up reply actions  

it was a Wheel of Fortune joke, where I insinuate you really wanted to call Derek a regular dick.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:46 PM EST up reply actions  

cliches...good way

To say what you mean, mean what you say.

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 8, 2012 3:34 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions  

Name that player

2012 Bill James 122 423 15 50 62 1 9.0 % 23.9 % .177 .301 .249 .325 .426 .323
2012 RotoChamp 507 14 57 54 1 9.3 % 22.5 % .145 .294 .242 .320 .387 .310
2012 Fans (10) 114 464 14 48 53 0 8.4 % 22.2 % .151 .294 .249 .316 .400 .314 -1.0 1.

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 4:07 PM EST reply actions  

I'd rather step on a lego at 3 AM than try to read misformatted stats, ugh

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 8, 2012 4:10 PM EST up reply actions  

ludwick...

crashtestnipplechip citymoron

by Excalib8 on Feb 8, 2012 4:11 PM EST up reply actions  

I read this yesterday.

Yesterday sucked.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 4:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, I guess that sucks

But the real reason yesterday sucked is I was at the Duke/UNC game last night. 3rd row. 6 feet away from Rasheed Wallace.

Possibly my most painful sports experience ever. Worse than the Halladay no-no. Worse than the 1998 and 2009 NFC Championship games (Vikings fan).

Just.

Fucking.

Awful.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 1:36 PM EST up reply actions  

the UNC kid I know got blow'd up and took it out on facebook:

following status:

"Athletics would be anything involving team or individual feats of strength and endurance. Like when I bench 300+ lbs, or break your wrist in one try, those would be athletic successes. Unlike your current activities, which are listed as “sleeping,” or your sweet piggy back rides you like to give in your pics. As for facebook, its a great place for my actual friends to keep up with my activities and comment on things we have in common. Unlike A., who I can only assume enjoys reading romance novels in lieu of speaking with living women, my life involves people on both sides of an intense rivalry that you clearly don’t have the ability to understand."

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 1:45 PM EST up reply actions  

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 1:48 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

You gotta admit though, that last shot was pretty sweet

/ducks

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 1:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Yep. Everyone knew he was going to shoot it.

And everyone knew it was going in.

Except for Tyler Zeller, who backed off of him and dared him to shoot it.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 2:28 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, horrible play by Zeller

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 9, 2012 3:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Why was Zeller guarding him anyway?

I get that they wanted to put length on Rivers but with a two point lead I’d rather have a guard defending him, Zeller had to be scared that he was going to drive on him, so he stayed back.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

He should have never got a shot off.

The right call would be to put him on the line and don’t leave it to fate. Not in this rivalry.

Worst case would have been overtime.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 4:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Or get right on him and if he goes by you, he goes by you

But yeah, NO WAY you let him take a three there, especially being 8" taller.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 4:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Dude

it was just a regular season college basketball game. It’s basically meaningless.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 1:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Nope.

You don’t get it. You can’t get it.

There is no rivalry in college basketball that compares, and few in all of american sports.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions  

seriously?

I would have to put Alabama Auburn on top of anything right now (but I’m not sure if “right now” disqualifies it)

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 2:39 PM EST up reply actions  

There's probably a good 10% of people at both schools who don't care one way or the other

At the academies, everyone cares. Plebes at Annapolis get an extra weekend of liberty if the team wins, which is a big deal.

The level of play is obviously different, If you weigh that heavily then something like UNC-Duke or Alabama-Auburn wins out.

by ken on Feb 9, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

It's all a little too self-congradulatory to me, but I'm a curmudgeon.

There’s no hate. An Alabama fan poisoned trees on Auburn’s campus and then called in a radio show to brag about it! That sort of thing is beautiful.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 2:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Not just any trees

but million year old sacred spirit trees like from Avatar. That’s borderline terrorism.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions  

You need to read EDSBS, 'mache

Your head would spin when you found out about the guy that did it

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 9, 2012 4:54 PM EST up reply actions  

and that it was a completely different Alabama fan

that teabagged a passed out man in a fast food restaurant.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 6:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Basically

He’s every crazy SEC fan stereotype wrapped into one, and he denies poisoning the trees. Mind you, this is after he called into the Finebaum show an hour after the trees were poisoned. He’s been interviewed since a bunch, and he was on a ESPN doc in January, and he’s never failed to come off as completely insane.

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 9, 2012 7:52 PM EST up reply actions  

the weirdest thing is

He never even went to Alabama.

He named his daughter Crimson Tyde, and now, over 60 years old, he’s facing 10 years in jail for poisoning the Auburn tree. And he was a Texas state trooper. But he was raised in Florida, and never attended Alabama.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 9, 2012 8:07 PM EST up reply actions  

beaten to the punch

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 8:44 AM EST up reply actions  

Oh man, did they get him under the anti-terrorism laws?

10 years seems like a little much for dendrocide. On the other hand, I completely agree. Trees are the best, this guy is the worst.

by andromache on Feb 10, 2012 9:10 AM EST up reply actions  

Seems like a waste of resources to put him away for 10 years

he is hardly violent.

I would think it would make much more sense to force him to pay for the replacement of all the trees.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 10, 2012 1:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, I see. You want the judicial system in Alabama to 'make sense.' Go it.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions  

even if he's convicted

I doubt he’ll actually get 10 years, and even if he gets that, he’ll be out on parole. He’s old and sick, and might not live 10 years.

The trees are irreplaceable. I don’t think replacing them fits the crime. It’s like punishing someone who killed a kid by making him pay for a night in a nice hotel so the parents can make another baby.

I read that interview on ESPN, and I can almost understand why he did it. He lost his father as a young child, and he saw Bear Bryant as a father figure (though the only contact he had was watching him on TV). The loss to Auburn in the championship crushed him.

Imagine, to be a fan from afar for your entire life and then walk into this. Last year, he went to more Alabama games — eight — than he’d ever made it to before in a single season. He was at the Iron Bowl, when Alabama ran out to a 24-0 lead, and he was there when Auburn scored 28 points to win. That night, he and a friend had a hotel reservation in Tuscaloosa. They didn’t bother, pointing the car south, toward home.

“We just drove straight back to Dadeville,” he says, “seriously, I bet we didn’t say 10 words.”

He said it was talk radio that infuriated him.

Something happened. He listened to the radio most days, all the rumors and accusations, the air full of drama and hate. So Al from Dadeville became convinced that 2010 had been stolen, that Cam Newton and a slew of other players had been bought, that the title had been bought. The other callers made him crazy, I-Man, and Tammy, and all the Auburn fans gloating over their rise and Bama’s unexpected fall. Finebaum’s show, which is wildly important in Alabama, is strange that way. You can listen to it for four hours, and there are all these little innuendos in the shorthand of people who are familiar with minutiae, and when it’s over, you don’t really remember any specifics, only that you’re pissed.

The reporter got the feeling that Al thought he would be greeted as a hero for poisoning the trees. By Alabama fans, anyway.

I dunno, on the one hand, he only killed trees, not people. On the other, you kinda wonder what would happen if his obsession was politics instead of football.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 11, 2012 10:09 AM EST up reply actions  

Wow

It’s fucking football. What a psychopath.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 11, 2012 10:28 AM EST up reply actions  

What really disturbs me

is that he thinks this is the most savage facet of his punishment.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 11, 2012 7:59 PM EST up reply actions  

what a putz

He retired to Alabama just so he could go to games. It should have been the best time of his life. Instead, he does this.

He could have gone to every game last year and seen the Tide win it all. Then he could have gloated on the radio about what happened on the field. Instead, he’s banned. And facing jail time. And probably all his football money is going to lawyers anyway.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 11, 2012 8:42 PM EST up reply actions  

And he named his kids "Bear Bryant" and "Crimson Tide"

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 8:43 AM EST up reply actions  

He wanted to name his newest daughter "Ally Bama"

but his current wife put her foot down.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 11, 2012 10:54 AM EST up reply actions  

bingo

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 11, 2012 6:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Problem is

they are all provincial rivalries. Like, I live in Columbus, Ohio and I don’t give two shits about Ala/Aub or UNC/Duke. Hell, at this point in my college football fandom, I really don’t even care that much about OSU/Michigan.

I think Army/Navy is definitely more national than any others listed. But even then, I think many more people recognize it as a big rivalry rather than actively care about it.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 2:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

My Grandfather and Uncle were in the Air Force, so there is really nothing to drive me to pick a side.

I am guessing your hypothesis is correct for a lot of non-military families.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 2:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Armed forces games have not been relevant for years

80% of the military is enlisted men and women who don’t give a shit what college their officers went to.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 4:28 PM EST up reply actions  

No doubt

It’s an insular rivalry for sure. If we’re talking about which rivalry do most unaffiliated fans care about, then I guess UNC-Duke. Or Leopard Trek-BMC Racing.

by ken on Feb 9, 2012 2:51 PM EST up reply actions  

In terms of neutral observers?

Probably Yankees-Sox, honestly.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 2:54 PM EST up reply actions  

Maybe in '03-'04

Now that the novelty of the Red Sox actually winning has wore off, I don’t think that many people outside the Northeast care that much. Still probably the tops in pro sports though.

by ken on Feb 9, 2012 3:01 PM EST up reply actions  

No doubt.

As far as media attention, it’s still #1 in team sports. UNC/Duke is probably #2.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 4:30 PM EST up reply actions  

until last year, the best rivalry was the colts & the patriots.

with peyton’s demise, UNC & Duke go back to the top.

by 'tHan on Feb 9, 2012 4:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Bomani pointed out something odd/cool

Brady pretty much dominated Peyton, but can’t seem to beat Eli. #Strangeness

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 4:46 PM EST up reply actions  

In the good old days before Duke was relevant, it was UNC/NC State that was the big one around here

I lived in Raleigh and used to get in fights at school all the time.

I’ll never forget the 1987 ACC Championship game. State won by one point. It was the first time I ever cried as a direct result of loving sports.

It would not be the last.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 5:25 PM EST up reply actions  

by my count it's 8-5

with peyton winning 5 of the last 7.

i wouldn’t say “dominated” peyton

by 'tHan on Feb 9, 2012 5:52 PM EST up reply actions  

brady won the first 6 vs manning, so he dominated early

four of those games were in new england & this is the point total indy gave up in each of those games

44, 38, 38, 24, 27, 20

if manning had the luxury of a defense and/or a great coach like belichick my opinion is he would have won more super bowls than brady did.

by 'tHan on Feb 9, 2012 5:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Or Al-Masry vs. Al-Ahly

79 people dead. Now that’s a sports rivalry. Imagine if that kinda thing happened after UNC/Duke last night.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 2:55 PM EST up reply actions  

It has gotten violent before

But everyone was too shocked and sad to hurt anyone last night.

Imagine a 18000 person walk of shame. Never experienced anything quite like it.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 9, 2012 4:29 PM EST up reply actions  

FTFY

it was just a regular season college basketball game. It’s basically meaningless.

Andrew Luck or something.

by Ram27 on Feb 9, 2012 5:57 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Here.

This won’t restore your faith in humanity.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 4:38 PM EST up reply actions  

That

Is then different kinds of fucked up

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 4:41 PM EST up reply actions  

"then different kinds of fucked up?"

That’s a new one

The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer

by DerekH91 on Feb 8, 2012 4:44 PM EST up reply actions  

tHan different ways of fucked up?

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Feb 8, 2012 11:28 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Hi!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 4:58 PM EST up reply actions  

.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 8, 2012 6:23 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

kai!

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Feb 8, 2012 11:29 PM EST up reply actions  

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 11:17 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 11:28 AM EST up reply actions  

.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 11:31 AM EST up reply actions  

x

And fentanyl ain't that like super-morphine for elephants and soldiers with their head blown off

by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 9, 2012 11:34 AM EST up reply actions  

x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 11:41 AM EST up reply actions  

.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 11:42 AM EST up reply actions  

.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 11:45 AM EST up reply actions  

you guys are simultaneously

the best and worst

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Feb 9, 2012 11:52 AM EST up reply actions  

.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 12:00 PM EST up reply actions  

The Cutters ?

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.

by Madville on Feb 9, 2012 9:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Agreed

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 8, 2012 6:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Oswalt

The Phillies are interested, but only if they can move Joe Blanton. Which isn’t likely.

Maybe Oswalt will have to reconsider the Pirates’ offer.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 8, 2012 5:17 PM EST reply actions  

Remember when Heath Bell was signed for 3/27?

Yeah, that was funny.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 5:54 PM EST reply actions  

Grant Brisbee did an article on PECOTA comps.

Juan Duran: B.J. Upton, Alex Rodriguez, Mickey Mantle

We have our LF!

by crolfer on Feb 8, 2012 6:11 PM EST reply actions  

I just read that article.

Lots of fun to read. And also moderately terrifying.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 6:27 PM EST up reply actions  

This kid is becoming one of my favorite writers.

I need to branch out on the internet more, I suppose. But, he’s enjoyable.

Wear something sexy to my funeral.

by Pops Daniels on Feb 8, 2012 6:46 PM EST up reply actions  

tumblr fun

People are finding Google Earth images of their childhood baseball fields.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 8, 2012 7:01 PM EST reply actions  

yeah, MightyFlynn is probably the most popular baseball tumblr

They post a ton of stuff. They especially like historical and international things.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 8, 2012 7:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Sadly

I don’t think the team is going to be very good this season. I should probably offer them my services on the infield.

by crolfer on Feb 9, 2012 11:14 AM EST up reply actions  

did you play in high school?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 11:31 AM EST up reply actions  

If you went to a D-3 school like I did you could have probably made the team.

I knew guys who played in high school, didn’t play baseball at all, and made the team their junior year.

But in all honesty unless I am on an athletic scholarship (which don’t exist at d-3), even if I were a good athlete, I would never want to play, it is so time consuming.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 11:51 AM EST up reply actions  

Yup

One of my good friends was going to play at a D-2 school, was going to be in the rotation and just decided to forget about it because of the time constraint.

by crolfer on Feb 9, 2012 12:23 PM EST up reply actions  

I found mine!

It’s not there anymore.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 8:51 AM EST up reply actions  

what?

They removed a baseball field but left nothing in its place?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 9, 2012 10:05 AM EST up reply actions  

Zoom out and you'll understand why

It’s still a VERY rural community. We made a diamond in the middle of a field for horses and cows. Looking back it was a pretty great experience, to help create something that we got to use on a regular basis. My dad lives across the street so I was there constantly, throwing up balls and hitting them, going to get them, and repeating the process.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 10:59 AM EST up reply actions  

other people have had their childhood fields

replaced with subdivisions and office buildings.

Yours is a cow pasture?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 9, 2012 12:05 PM EST up reply actions  

Yup

Although to be fair, it was a cow pasture before it was a field. Circle of life, I suppose.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 12:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Nah, the paved it

and put up a parking lot.

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Feb 9, 2012 11:40 AM EST up reply actions  

And now I have wasted over an hour looking at satellite images of where I grew up

Fascinating perspective, for sure.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 11:52 AM EST up reply actions  

I spent a half-hour one day looking at satellite images of drive-in theaters.

I’m not sure why but it was fascinating to see the similarities and differences from one to the next.

Some were clearly still operating and some were not and some were being used for flea markets.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 12:12 PM EST up reply actions  

where would we be without google earth?

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Feb 9, 2012 12:18 PM EST up reply actions  

You should check out

http://historicaerials.com/ where you can do a split screen of before/after stadiums were built and whatnot.

And there went the REST of jch’s day!

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 4:40 PM EST up reply actions  

I feel a little dumb,

but can someone explain to me how the title of this Reposter isn’t a crazy non-sequiter?

by the finest muffins on Feb 8, 2012 8:47 PM EST reply actions  

Mmmm.... muffins.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 9:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Thank you, good sir.

I thought it might be something like that. Except Chiquita was Lindner. Castellini is Castellini Co.

by the finest muffins on Feb 8, 2012 9:48 PM EST up reply actions  

There's always money in the banana stand!

"Red Reporter - An elitist clique full of like-minded douchebags." - BK

by ZJiff30 on Feb 8, 2012 11:13 PM EST up reply actions  

"There was two hundred and fifty thousand dollars lining the walls of the banana stand."

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 8, 2012 11:18 PM EST up reply actions  

"All of which I was planning on using to sign Ryan Theriot"

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Feb 8, 2012 11:20 PM EST up reply actions  

In that case, I'm pretty glad Michael burned down the banana stand.

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 8, 2012 11:27 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I loved his Sports Machine.

But he got arrested for using it in a public bathroom.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 4:41 PM EST up reply actions  

bagels?

thought lindner was bagels…lol…heck, i don’t know…but i am pretty sure castellini is bananas and other fruit and garden stuff…

by alcory11 on Feb 8, 2012 9:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Castellini Co. is a fruit and vegetable wholesaler

Apparently part of Cincinnati since 1896 (which means Castellini is some ooooold money). I guess someone has to sell something to get some vitamins after all that pork.

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 8, 2012 10:21 PM EST up reply actions  

This is eerily similar to the Bluth's

Weren’t they old money in Balboa?

Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

by ChiDa on Feb 8, 2012 10:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Ludwick: Being a Red a 'dream come true'

Quotes on Fay’s blog

Ludwick grew up a Reds and Bengals fan (even though he grew up in Fla and Nev.) because his dad is from Georgetown, Ohio and went to Otterbein. Sounds like he was a big Eric Davis fan. Also says PETCO Park messed up his swing.

Seems like an OK guy…

"There's only one god, and his name is Death. And what do we say to Death? Not today!" --- Syrio Forel, Game of Thrones

by cesarhernandez on Feb 8, 2012 9:11 PM EST reply actions  

re: "PETCO Park meesed up his swing."

I read an article last year about how the Pads have had like five hitting coaches in the seven(?) years since PETCO opened. And now in 2012 I guess they have co-coaches or some shit like that.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 9:32 PM EST up reply actions  

His INCREDIBLY low BABIP while a Padre corroborates this.

Ludwick might be good for us!

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 4:42 PM EST up reply actions  

oswalt...

got all the pros and cons on this guy, and i admit that i really admire and like him. but let’s see, he’s 34 with a couple of years now fighting back problems, etc. i can’t say he won’t come back and have another great year or so, but given the history of baseball, that likelihood is slim to none, and we all know that slim spends most of his time out of town. on the other hand, we have arroyo, a pitcher who isn’t great but who has shown himself to extremely durable. he’s a workhorse. and he knows how to pitch using his stuff. he had built his production up to a consistent 200+ innings and about 14 wins per season, and made that run long enough that we all can be sure that is about where his plateau is. the question, of course, is whether he can come back to that after last season’s problems. compared to the questions about oswalt, history tells us that arroyo is more likely to rebound. then there’s homer bailey, a headstrong young man who has shown that he’s turned his stubborness on himself and started to develop his command and understanding of the game. he’s watched chapman get 100+ mph heaters turned around for hits by very average hitters, seen him and volquez lose it when things aren’t going so well. and he’s watched arroyo and mike leake work very effectively, either of them with a lot less to serve up on the mound than bailey has. the latter part of last year, bailey was showing some very good ability to pitch and was getting some good results while some of the more important stats also came in better than, say, matt garza’s…along with a slew of other pretty well-regarded young pitchers. i see bailey having more than a solid year, and he could well be the number 3 pitcher here by midseason. whatever, even with arroyo or bailey actually having some problems, i just don’t see any plus in bringing oswalt in, and i actually think it could also cost the reds a lot more than any contract dollars because making a roster spot along with budget considerations could force them to lose a player…bailey is often mentioned…they really shouldn’t let go of.

by alcory11 on Feb 8, 2012 9:57 PM EST reply actions  

tl;dr

wow… that’s some e e cummings shit right there

by Nasty N8 on Feb 9, 2012 5:55 AM EST up reply actions  

Alcory is definitely the new Mads

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 9, 2012 7:14 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Instantaneously identifiable at first sight

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 9, 2012 7:15 PM EST up reply actions  

compared to the questions about oswalt, history tells us that arroyo is more likely to rebound.

I have to strongly disagree, and I don’t think history tells us anything of the sort.

expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat

by kcgard2 on Feb 9, 2012 8:52 AM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, this was my thought.

I do think that both pitchers should be expected to have at least marginally better ‘rebound’ seasons but I don’t think we have any way to know whose will be a better/bigger rebound.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 8:55 AM EST up reply actions  

Um.

Why did you blur out my Facebook wall?

by FordhamRam on Feb 8, 2012 10:05 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Your real name is Emily???

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 8, 2012 10:11 PM EST up reply actions  

I call dibs on being Mike!

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 8:57 AM EST up reply actions  

it is when you forget to log out of your facebook account on a shared computer.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 8, 2012 10:11 PM EST up reply actions  

doubtful

but these things are amusing nonetheless

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Feb 8, 2012 11:23 PM EST up reply actions  

.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 11:30 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

No, no it is not

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 8:57 AM EST up reply actions  

Since it's not real...

…can I get Emily’s phone number?

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 8:27 PM EST up reply actions  

No....she's busy tonight

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 8:44 AM EST up reply actions  

ugh

fucking Duke

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Feb 8, 2012 11:29 PM EST reply actions  

trying...

to hold the nausea down to just a burp…

by alcory11 on Feb 9, 2012 5:06 AM EST reply actions  

REPOSTERCEPTION

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Feb 9, 2012 7:48 AM EST up reply actions  

I say we 'Scrabbles Bomb' the comment section.

Nothing crass or even silly. Just affirming what our guy says.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 8:52 AM EST up reply actions  

.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 9:01 AM EST up reply actions  

Done.

Who’s up next?

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Feb 9, 2012 11:44 AM EST up reply actions  

I love that a Scrabblism like BeePerino made it into the Enquirer

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 9:22 AM EST up reply actions  

I love that my little "a go, ago" wordiddle made it into the Enquirer

Sometimes I forget that this shit is read by more people than just you dummies. If I had known, I probably would have worn a tie or anything.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 10:16 AM EST up reply actions  

"a tie or anything"?

Were you naked?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 11:00 AM EST up reply actions  

yes.

“”http://www.redreporter.com/2011/8/26/2386028/red-reposter-retweeter-lou-gehrig-still-clutch#75620528" >Scrabblism"

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 10:55 AM EST up reply actions  

is this invisble fanpost thing

gonna be permanent?

’Cause it sucks.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 9, 2012 10:07 AM EST reply actions  

Yeah, you can click on the "all FanPosts" link and it will list them all

which isn’t too much of a hassle. But I still want things to stay the same as they always have. Hopefully they’ll work this crap out soon.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 10:18 AM EST up reply actions  

I've always thought that I wanted 'stories' listed on the side but not INSTEAD OF FanPosts.

I want BOTH. I want it ALL!!!!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 10:25 AM EST up reply actions  

vote Republican!

Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

by UncleWeez on Feb 9, 2012 11:55 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

x

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 12:06 PM EST up reply actions  

i just really wanted a chance to a post a picture of that frothy mixture in that ridiculous tie.

Where does one even buy a tie like that?

I should buy a tie like that and wear it to work.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 2:25 PM EST up reply actions  

It's a string tie.

They are common and accepted in Texas and the American Southwest.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 4:58 PM EST up reply actions  

nobody's going to bother to do that

Especially since no one sees them, and so there aren’t many new comments.

Maybe we should rec the Columbus post so it’s on the front page. Who knows how many people might have been interested, but didn’t see it?

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 9, 2012 12:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Rec everything!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 12:13 PM EST up reply actions  

I wonder

if that Pete Rose fanboy really did complain, and this is the result.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 9, 2012 12:14 PM EST up reply actions  

You think they changed every site because one guy complained a few comments?

Maybe’s PeteFan (what was his name?) fired off the email that was finally the tipping point?

I doubt even that. But I don’t doubt the higher-ups check on things from time to time and I they probably spend time thinking of ways to rein it all in a bit.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 12:29 PM EST up reply actions  

SON OF A BITCH!

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 12:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Dave Gershman is kind of a dick

I mean, I get the fact that the O’s are probably going to suck but…

Dave Gershman @Dave_Gershman Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
Are the actually Oriololes fans out there who think the O’s will be good this year? Sad thing is I bet there are.

Really?

by crolfer on Feb 9, 2012 12:59 PM EST reply actions  

Considering it appeared to be a significant part of Duquette's pitching strategy going forward? Possibly.

It has drawn out an amazing number of supporters of Korean athletes’ labor rights. I never knew there were so many.

It does seem funny to me that he’s only a high school sophomore, but it’s the same rule that we signed Juan Duran under, and I don’t recall either me or the DR caring about that. I think it may be something that MLB needs to take a second look at, though.

by andromache on Feb 9, 2012 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

I feel like baseball teams should have a moratorium on talking trash until March

Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs, and Ozzie Guillen not counting

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 1:55 PM EST up reply actions  

Mini-Reposter, link 1?

Harry Redknapp sounds like half-evil villain, half-coaching genius. TLR ain’t got nothing on him.


When questioned, during his tax-evasion trial last month about the secret Monaco bank account he’d named after his bulldog Rosie, he produced one of the greatest answers in the history of criminology. “I don’t even like calling her a dog,” he said. “She was better than that.”

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."

by Cy Schourek on Feb 9, 2012 1:54 PM EST reply actions  

I'm on my phone so I'm not even going to try to find

The Dave Cameron comments from yesterday, but has anyone seen his FanGraphs article today? It is totally inconsistent gibberish. He makes a big deal of the fact that high potential prospects are overrated (he does this all the time as Slyde pointed out). Then he talks about how much he loves Yonder Alonso, because we are more certain of his abilities. Then he said Alonso is 2-3 WAR player. Am I supposed to seriously reconcile this with what he wrote about the Latos trade? He must be really high on Grandal.

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 9, 2012 2:16 PM EST via iPhone app reply actions  

Also, he thinks there's a chance that Volquez isn't horrible

I wouldn’t make that bet, but Volquez getting a change of scenery and going to that park can’t hurt.

by ken on Feb 9, 2012 2:24 PM EST up reply actions  

and he's right

if Volquez isn’t horrible, and if Alonso is pretty darn good, and if Grandal is fantastic, and if Boxy turns out to be something special, then the Padres will have won the trade hands down.

That’s a lot of ifs that now belong to someone else’s team.

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Feb 9, 2012 2:25 PM EST up reply actions  

If Latos is the ace we need

It really doens’t matter. The Padres may win in the fact they get more WAR from their players, but none of those guys, other than Volquez who is a throw in project, have spent a full season in the Majors yet and Latos has pitched two ace like years with fantastic peripherals. I believe he is amongst league leaders in swings and misses within the strike zone, Latos strikes out a ton of batters, throws a ton of strikes, and doesn’t walk many, that is the Holy Grail of pitching.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions  

But what IF!

Latos gets us into two World Serieses?

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 2:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Then I, for one, will be disappointed.

Dynasty, baby!

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville

by bbjones on Feb 9, 2012 4:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Then he needs to think about that

The next time he criticizes a team for trading a high ceiling prospect for an everyday player. That’s my point.

Even when I was a Dave Cameron sycophant I noticed that Dave never really does much research. I remember last year when Ackley came up he had an article talking about how Ackley was a star in the making because he had good BB to K ratios in the minors and this translated into big league success. He used a few examples and called it an article. Before the day was over, Tango had posted a rebuttal with research showing that Dave’s argument was pretty weak.

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 9, 2012 2:56 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions  

We need to finish this shit up

what kind of car do you people drive?

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 2:44 PM EST reply actions  

A borrowed one at the moment

Anyone know where I can find an engine?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 3:20 PM EST up reply actions  

thanks for playing

we have now discussed Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:09 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

What kind of engine?

If you wanna buy a car, I got one to sell. I’ll give you a RR discount!

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 8:27 PM EST up reply actions  

The engine siezed up in my car, an 07 Sonata

I still owe money on the car and I’m on the fence whther to put a new engine in it or to eat what’s owed on it and buy something else. Email me.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 8:45 AM EST up reply actions  

Actually, I hit the mileage a while back, but yeah.

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 12:38 PM EST up reply actions  

wow, you drive a lot.

that sucks.

My 05 Hyundai has yet to hit 100K.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 10, 2012 1:29 PM EST up reply actions  

118K on an '07

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 1:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Your engine had an early grave.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 10, 2012 2:01 PM EST up reply actions  

My 2002 has 38k.

3 mile commute

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 10, 2012 3:59 PM EST up reply actions  

97 Corolla

with 3 working doors!

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Feb 9, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Town and Country

With two flip-down screens, a DVD player and room for six or seven Red Reporters. And a cooler.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 3:37 PM EST up reply actions  

they're expensive, mostly two wheel drive, uglier than suvs, reputation as an uncool mom car

bad gas mileage, terrible resale value, and they usually have a bad ride.

there is little reason to buy a minivan over a comparably sized suv

by 'tHan on Feb 9, 2012 6:18 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm pretty much ambivalent about my minivan. But with three young kids, the sliding side door makes all the difference.

It’s much easier and much safer to get kids in and out of. That’s our reason.

But you are right, aside from the new Honda Odyssey, many SUVs are better looking than any minivan that is not the new Honda Odyssey. minivan. And the ride is lousy (at least in my Chrysler.)

Still, I have never understood the whole ‘uncool mom car’ thing. I’m not being defensive because I drive a minivan, I’ve just always been bored by the cliche ‘jokes.’

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 6:56 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

My old 1994 Plymouth Sundance was like that

halfway through my senior year of high school the hinge in the passenger door broke, and I was worried the door was going to fall off.

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:09 PM EST up reply actions  

my backseat passenger door will not unlock itself.

fortunately, it remains closed.

Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat

by -ManBearPig on Feb 9, 2012 6:41 PM EST up reply actions  

Dodge stratus

All original equipment! Sans passenger door mirror.

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 9, 2012 7:20 PM EST up reply actions  

I drive a Dodge Stratus!

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 9, 2012 10:31 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Speaking of driving..

Here’s a Sheldon story that we tranportationophiles here at Red Reporter will enjoy:

The 18-wheeler the Reds have commissioned is scheduled to depart on Friday for a 1,863-mile trip west from Cincinnati to the club’s complex in Goodyear, Ariz. Stowe will fly out and meet the truck there to help lead the unloading process.

Armed with forklifts and push carts, the Reds staff loaded skids and pallets of supplies on to the back of the truck.

Everything from baseballs to bats, caps to jerseys, baby cribs to bicycles and potato chips to energy drink mixes can find its way to the loading dock for transport. There was no shortage of duffel bags, golf club bags, trunks that were either already in the 53-foot long trailer or waiting to be loaded.

What in the worrrld is in that bag? What you got in that bag?

It’s like Santa and the elves getting ready for Christmas!

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 9, 2012 3:57 PM EST up reply actions  

sheldon story?

i immediately assumed you were posting a big bang theory episode recap

by 'tHan on Feb 9, 2012 4:16 PM EST up reply actions  

03 Honda Accord

with moonroof, for RR cruise par-tays.

by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 9, 2012 4:20 PM EST up reply actions  

x

"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks

by Yossarian22 on Feb 9, 2012 4:25 PM EST up reply actions  

2002 Chrysler PT Cruiser is my daily driver.

For fun I drive my 1959 Nash Metropolitan convertible.

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 9, 2012 8:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Toby Kieth's I Love This Bar & Grill is open

A fried bologna sandwich is $8.99, who wants to go with me?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow

by jch24 on Feb 9, 2012 4:58 PM EST reply actions  

that's nuts

Isn’t fried bologna supposed to be cheap?

My mom made that for me for lunch every day when I was a kid.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?

by BubbaFan on Feb 9, 2012 5:13 PM EST up reply actions  

I just went to the website,

and it has to be among the most overpriced menus I’ve ever seen. And it’s all for unappetizing, boring food.

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto

by Grahamophone on Feb 9, 2012 7:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Order the fish "from the canal"

Ewwwwww

Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today

by obc2 on Feb 9, 2012 7:18 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm adding Teller's 12 dollar burger to the list

"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24

by BK on Feb 9, 2012 10:20 PM EST up reply actions  

How about Penn's pancakes?

"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00

by PeteyHendrix on Feb 10, 2012 12:31 PM EST up reply actions  

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