New at the Red Reporter Reference Desk
What began humbly as a pretentiously-titled section on the left sidebar of this website now contains "several" pages rather than "a couple." The Reference Desk is your easily-accessible resource for up-to-date player information - contract status, injury histories and now, Twitter handles. Here are some of the recent additions to our holdings, which I hope will help answer FAQs about the Reds and better prevent you from ever having to visit any other site.
This section dropped just this week. I'm not nearly as proficient on Twitter as many of you, but this is my attempt to put together a listing of all current Reds players who have active Twitter handles. Some Tweet more than others. I've left off Ryan Madson, who it seems had an authentic handle at some point but hasn't Twatt (not positive that's the past tense of Tweet) in nearly two years. I'm hoping to add Reds media personalities, veterans and a Dallas Latos category soon. Feel free to offer your additions and corrections.
Complete Org Chart (MLB Daily Dish)
This was discussed in a FanShot, but MLB Daily Dish - SBNation's news and trade rumors pub - mapped the players and contract vitals in the Reds' system from low-A to the majors. You should offer your feedback here or on their thread if you haven't already.
Hopefully this is a current list of all non-roster invites to big league camp this Spring. I'm not sure yet if Wifrin Obispo - who was just signed to a minor league deal and who may actually be a food and drug conglomerate - received an invite. Let me know if we missed anyone.
Any suggestions for information that isn't currently easy to find and might fit in this section would be more than welcome. As soon as we wrap the Community Prospect Rankings, we'll be looking at Composite rankings of Reds' farmhands and logging prospect histories, leaning on past Community rankings. Stay tuned. That is, stay near the Desk and please be quiet.
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Twatt.
My juvenile brain could not help, but giggle when I read that. I understand what you were doing, but I refuse to grow up.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
There's no growing up to be had here
RR is the Lost Boys in a Neverland Universe of sports blogs.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 3, 2012 12:23 PM EST up reply actions
I'm thinking more, "Lord Of The Flies"
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
With a little "The Lottery" thrown in there
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 3, 2012 1:00 PM EST up reply actions
I think Lord of the Flies meets The Lottery (with a little Fahrenheit 451 tossed in)
is The Hunger Games.
by the finest muffins on Feb 3, 2012 1:16 PM EST up reply actions
I'd always thought of RR more like the Smurfs.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 3, 2012 1:20 PM EST up reply actions
Because of the completely whack dude/chick ratio, right?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 1:31 PM EST up reply actions
yup.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 3, 2012 1:33 PM EST up reply actions
Also
because they’re is guy with a cat that is completely obsessed with ruining everybody’s fun.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
Wait, are you talking about me?
I’LL COOK YOU IN MY STEW!!
/chases after you with an insect net
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 1:44 PM EST up reply actions
Easy, he was talking about BubbaFan
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 3, 2012 1:49 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
insect net?
that sounds more like crolfer
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
Hey Crolf -- did you see this:

At xkcd.com, of course, which you should visit regularly and direct your traffic there, and in no way avoid because you saw the content on RR.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
what?
I told you, I don’t have a cat!
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
We know
you have a Janish.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
But you ARE a dude?
BK owes me $20, score!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 3, 2012 10:45 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
you think I'm male?
That’s a compliment from you, right? It means I can drive! And maybe even own and operate a brain?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Feb 4, 2012 9:18 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Please, please
As I’ve said in the past – I’m not misogynistic, but sometimes my penis is.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
/John Mayer'd
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
by DerekH91 on Feb 4, 2012 10:37 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
don't have A cat..
but multiple? you betcha
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 10, 2012 12:19 AM EST up reply actions
They're means they fucking are, motherfucker!
*There
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
wait, that person is a dude?
hmmm, I lost that bet
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 10, 2012 12:18 AM EST up reply actions
what color does a Smurf turn when you choke it?
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 10, 2012 12:17 AM EST up reply actions
admittedly, BigToddlerBruce just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 3, 2012 12:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm with ya
Also, I still giggle every year around Christmas when I see advertisements for performances of The Nutcracker. Who wants to see that?
by poojols on Feb 3, 2012 1:33 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Same
it’s damn near impossible to read a Skyline menu without laughing to myself, “huh huh, huhuh huh…‘3 way’”.

by Howie Feltersnatch on Feb 3, 2012 1:39 PM EST up reply actions
I took this at the Skyline on Bridgetown Rd, West Side

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
A few years ago...
I made my first trip to Cincinnati. I was unaware of the city’s reputation for chili. When I told a coworker who travels a lot that I was going to Cincinnati, he told me to, “have a three-way for me.” I walked away thinking, “I knew he was liberal, but I didn’t expect that…”
Trying to pull off "having no money and talking to no one" as well as the Reds have.
by badenjr on Feb 4, 2012 12:39 AM EST via mobile up reply actions 2 recs
Will the real Zack Cozart please stand up?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 3, 2012 12:47 PM EST up reply actions
I'm still standing!
Janish is a donkey, Renteria is a goat.
by Zack Cozart is Batman on Feb 3, 2012 1:10 PM EST up reply actions
I thought that'd be Karen O
dang
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
I was going to say that.
It doesn’t seem authentic.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Feb 3, 2012 1:31 PM EST up reply actions
OK, I'm gonna put it on the DL
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 3, 2012 5:59 PM EST up reply actions
Rangers are "unlikely" to sign Oswalt
so it would seem like the Cardinals have him. But they may not wanna pay his asking price.
The Braves are the best fit geographically, since they’re the closest to Kosciusko, MS. But they haven’t even been mentioned in rumors. I’d guess Boston is still in there. Maybe they’ll work out some travel perks into his contract.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 3, 2012 1:13 PM EST reply actions
The last thing the Braves need is more pitching.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Does CVG have direct flights to Mississippi?
I figure that would be more important than actual geographical proximity.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 1:18 PM EST up reply actions
The Reds have Jeff Brantley.
That should be all the Mih-sippy he needs to sign with us.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 3, 2012 1:21 PM EST up reply actions
When you hear the word Mississippi does your skin crawl?
Mine does. I envision sitting on a front porch, shirtless, and sweating profusely. You know, like Ohio.. without the tremendous sweating.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Lived there from mid-August to Mid-December in 1995
It’s like being in a vegetable steamer in August.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Is that where you adapted your 'sun's out, guns out' theory?
by DocRam on Feb 3, 2012 7:39 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
unfortunately, no
I had to ear BDUs while in that godforsaken heat. Because one shirt’s not enough, of course.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I doubt it
Atlanta is a big hub and closer driving by 4-5 hours. But the Braves can’t use Oswalt.
I’d guess it’s the Cardinals vs. a team that has the money and can get creative with the contract.
I don’t think the Ludwick signing is even official (they still haven’t dropped someone from the roster), so that’s $2.5M right there.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 3, 2012 1:30 PM EST up reply actions
based upon my reactionary performance in "The Reds sign Ryan Ludwick"
you can likely guess my enthusiasm level if that deal never goes through.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 3, 2012 1:34 PM EST up reply actions
Nowhere has direct flights to Mississippi, not even Mississippi
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 3, 2012 1:52 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
you would think
That means Atlanta would have direct flights to Mississippi. But no. From Atlanta you have to go through Houston.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
by bbjones on Feb 3, 2012 9:11 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
"See that down there? We're gonna keep going for a while then you'll get on a different shittier plane and that's where you'll end up."
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
We should also have a list of media people who've blocked me on twitter
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
by btcoop71 on Feb 3, 2012 1:14 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
The list is long, but distinguished.

Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 3, 2012 1:24 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
So is my johnson
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
Are those people part of it too?
Because that’d help create some jobs.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
I wanted to make a joke about the Florida law that requires stadiums to be used as a shelter
and I just couldn’t.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
It's even more magnificent in real life.
I hate Florida, but I am so going to Miami to see that breathtaking sculpture in person.
Me, too
But alas, there are no direct flights. I’ll have to layover in Atlanta.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 2:11 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
It's beautiful, isn't it?
I didn’t think it would become real.
<AWESOME GIF THAT IS RESOURCE INTENSIVE WITH ARCHING DOLPHIN.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Feb 3, 2012 2:51 PM EST up reply actions
The only way that thing could be better
is if Gloria Estefan pops out and sings after every home run.
When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball." ~Willie Stargell, 1981
She might, she probably needs the work these days.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 3, 2012 10:47 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
You know who needs work more than Gloria Estafan?
Ricky Martin.
And that thing would fantabulously better with Ricky Martin.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 4, 2012 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
God I hope it's in fair territory
And they’re using a skee-ball scoring system. MLB needs more Jock ‘n’ Jock elements if it ever hopes to catch the NFL.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 3, 2012 1:59 PM EST up reply actions
Joey will hit it!
Apple in a hat, dolphin rainbows, you name it… Joey will hit it!
The season doesn't start until the Cincinnati Reds take the field! Reclaim The Opener!!
have you seen the scale?
It’s the height of the foul pole.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Am I the only one who thinks this thing is hilariously awesome?
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
I hated it at first, but i'm liking it more and more.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Yeah, I don't even think it's that hilaroious.
I really do think it looks better in real life: It has a kind of folk art appeal, and the colors aren’t quite so neon. I love that it’s a real thing that moves and lights up – the moving waves and the cut-out layers have an old-timey charm, like an old carnival show, or something.
It's been the victim of a blogosphere pile-on
kinda like Lana del Ray.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 3, 2012 2:35 PM EST up reply actions
Not really. It was an extremely crappy set up by SNL.
Which is par for the course for them. She did a great job on Letterman last night.
JK Rowling?
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
by DerekH91 on Feb 3, 2012 3:18 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
You know when you have a dream and you have no idea anything that is happening?
That’s how that video makes me feel.
that was the worst
youtube video I have ever seen. She is horrible. Horrible.
by fromcubawithluv on Feb 3, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions
Y'all need to hear the real thang: LENA DEL RIO
AND HER ELECTRIC SITAR…

Talk about range…
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Feb 4, 2012 11:30 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I really, really wish they would put an old-timey baseball organ on top of it
and have someone play a few bars of this when someone hits a dinger.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I'll withhold judgement for the moment.
I can see what you’re saying about the back cut-out layers, and I’m a big fan of folk art… but it’s going to need a lot of real-life charm to overcome the flamingos.
by the finest muffins on Feb 3, 2012 9:05 PM EST up reply actions
Its creator, Red Grooms, was an early pop artist.
He tends to layer on the symbolism, pop cultural references, jokey imagery, it’s all part of the shtick. Here’s another Grooms piece, “The Bookstore”:

by Cuetotally Amazing on Feb 3, 2012 10:26 PM EST up reply actions
Of course!
I appreciate that the Marlins went out and did something risky and peculiar (instead of something bland and one-dimensional like, say, an outfield slide). Also neat that they commissioned a blue-chip artist. Too bad more stadiums can’t have eccentricity like this—it certainly gives people something interesting to talk about.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Feb 3, 2012 11:11 PM EST up reply actions
You know what that thing is?
It’s the Pepsi Power Stacks done right.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 4, 2012 12:33 PM EST up reply actions
I don't know.
I’m leaning towards changing my opinion about the sculpture… but for those pesky flamingos. Flamingos are just awful.
by the finest muffins on Feb 4, 2012 1:12 PM EST up reply actions
I was going to bring up the Pepsi Power Stacks but didn't want to hit too close to home.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Feb 4, 2012 11:23 PM EST up reply actions
I love it too.
Too much seriousness in the world.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Feb 3, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions
Al Yellon:
SBNation’s own Toby Flenderson.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Ain't nothing wrong with a little Cub Anal
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
by ChiDa on Feb 3, 2012 10:25 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
The background check is complete.
ChiDa’s been asked to not join the troop’s campout this summer.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 4, 2012 12:35 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
What the hell is wrong with that dude?
He is pathologically fixated on the Cubs. It’s really like a creepy knee jerk obsessional thing.
by Cuetotally Amazing on Feb 3, 2012 10:31 PM EST up reply actions
I think everything about the Marlins offseason has been hilariously awesome.
All that’s left is a Yoenis Cespedes signing to put a cherry on top.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
some photos of the construction
here.
The fishtanks are installed. Looks like they have coral in them but no water or fish yet.
And that bum Billy is lying down on the job.

All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
by BubbaFan on Feb 3, 2012 6:08 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
What on earth is that?
It reminds of a Lisa Frank school folder I had back in elementary school.
by the finest muffins on Feb 3, 2012 9:00 PM EST up reply actions
Word for word
the exact same reaction my wife had.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 9:11 PM EST up reply actions
I had never heard of Lisa Frank until like 2 months ago.
Was I really out of the loop as a child?
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Not unless you had sisters.
Lisa Frank was (is?) very much for girls.

by the finest muffins on Feb 3, 2012 11:43 PM EST up reply actions
you and your gender stereotypes!
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
by Yossarian22 on Feb 3, 2012 11:47 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
So, Michael Cera grew a moustache

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Woah
Now he’s the fat kid from Superbad.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 4:21 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
and a beer chin.
Tequila and pancakes, anyone?
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 3, 2012 4:21 PM EST up reply actions
He's just getting ready for a role in his next film.
“The Dutch Oven”

Coming Fall 2012
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
That whole look
could really be tied together with some tinted glasses.
now if only someone would tell her to stay away from Chris Brown
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
I see
Matt Belisle got an extension.
He’s been kinda decent since he left Cincinnati.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Not the first failed starter to become a decent middle reliever
good for him.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I don't understand why the Reds didn't move him back to the MLB pen.
He was a solid relief pitcher for the Reds in 2005 and 2006.
It really isn’t that big of a deal though, if losing a middle relief pitcher for nothing is the worst thing a GM does, he did good.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Like clockwork...
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
Why are you playing video games when you and your girlfriend are drunk?
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Because she is asleep. :(
I’m waiting an hour or two until she will feel up to going out. Maybe she just needs a nap!
Do you have any idea how hard MLB 2K11 is when you're drunk? It's like playing on All-Star level when you're on Pro level.
Awe. Some. Red still win every game. I love the Reds. I would marry them if they were a girl. But only if she was pretty. She would be though. Zack Cozart and Dallas Latos are both pretty and they areREds so that guaratnees that hte Reds are [retty.
If this were ayn team but the caridals I'd be losting
But I HAVE TO BEAT THE DEAD BIRDS. Thye suck ballscosksack.
um, yeah
You definitely need to suit up with highlifeman!
He’s due for a live tweet soon.
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Feb 4, 2012 10:27 AM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
jch promised to teach me to tweet...
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. …………………………… Still Waiting ……………………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
my live tweeting days are behind me
unless I create a new handle
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 10, 2012 12:26 AM EST up reply actions
and back together with LB, apparently...
I think. It’s hard to keep up with Crolfer’s love life. (Which is how it should be in college, dammit.)
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Tickets for the Reds "spring showcase"
This is the last game of spring training, held at GABP. Diamond Club tickets (all food and drink, including booze, included) are just $65. The Reds will be playing the Reds minor leaguers.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I had to go to my little brother's baptism this morning
and missed out on getting Diamond Seats. Horseshit.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
wow
Sold out already?
That was fast.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
so what/when is the deal with [Real Fans Go to] Game Two this year?
Is there gonna be someone organizing the ticket purchasing? I may end up swinging by…
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."



































