Red Reposter - Johnny Cueto, Opening Day Starter
Once again, it's a contract year for Dusty Baker
He doesn't seem phased by it though, as he's been in this sitch a few times before. Although, he does kind of wonder why he has to continue to prove himself like this. Aaron Gleeman points out that Dusty has piloted teams to losing records in five of his past six seasons as a manager, so maybe that has something to do with it.
Overall, I'm not going to complain about Dusty's tenure so far. He may have had losing records in five of the last six years, but that one winning record is worth a hell of a lot to this Reds baseball fan. He's definitely changed my perception of him since he came to town, too. I had him pegged (and I figure most of you did, too) as the kind of manager that prefers old vets and ruins young arms. He's done well to erase those preconceived notions, though.
Check out all these pics of Spring Training
I like baseball.
Roy Oswalt - Not a Red
Walt Jocketty is putting this one to bed, folks. "I'm not even considering it", he said. Sigh. Wouldn't it be cool, though?
Johnny Cueto is expected to be your Opening Day starter this year
"It's how you want to match them up during the season," Baker said. "I know how important Opening Day is in Cincinnati. It's more important in Cincinnati than any place I've been. But you end up having to match up against No. 1's the rest of the year. If we're just going on veteran status, it'd be Bronson [Arroyo]. But I think Bronson would be better down in the rotation." The Opening Starter is certainly more a ceremonial position than anything significant, but there Dusty goes refuting that whole thing I just said about deference to veterans.
Seedlings to Stars profiles Yorman Rodriguez
and compares his season last year to a number of similar players of recent vintage. Yorman had a decent if unspectacular season last year in low-A as an 18-year-old, which is noteworthy for his young age. Jimmy Rollins, Miguel Cabrera, Justin Upton, and even Rafael Alvarez all had similar age-18 seasons in low-A. I think the most interesting comp listed is Richard Hidalgo:
"Hidalgo is actually a pretty decent comp for Rodriguez—he was a passable center fielder/athletic right fielder with plus power, solid speed, and just enough feel for the strike zone. It’s worth noting that Hidalgo struck out just 76 times in 111 games, so he didn’t have Rodriguez’s contact issues, but he also had little discipline—in fact, despite being ranked as a top 50 prospect by Baseball America four different years, he only had a .330 OBP in his minor league career. Hidalgo would go on to hit .269/.345/.490 in the big leagues over a nine-year career; if Rodriguez can do that, he’ll be a huge success."
MiLB.com interviewed Reds Minor League Hitter of the Year and top prospect Billy Hamiltion
When asked what it takes to steal a base, Billy Quicks quipped: "If you draw an imaginary line [in the dirt], you can get to that spot every time [you take a lead], so you don't have to think about getting back or not. You have to get to a point where you are thinking forward and not thinking backward, and then it's pretty easy stealing bases [because] you're not worried about getting back. If you make a false step and you're able to get back, you know you're good, so the only thing you think about is going forward." Also, running really, really fast.
Tom Verducci gives the Reds the best odds to turn it around this year
"It happened again last year for the sixth straight season and the 16th time in the 17 years since the last postseason expansion: a team made the postseason the year immediately after a losing record. Actually, two teams pulled off the losers-to-playoffs turnaround -- the Diamondbacks and Brewers -- making it 33 such turnaround stories in 17 years, or about one out of every four playoff teams. Which 2011 loser will wind up in the 2012 postseason? Rule out the Orioles, Athletics, Mariners, Mets, Pirates, Cubs and Astros for various reasons and you are left with nine possibilities. The most likely? In order: Reds, Nationals, Marlins, Rockies, Indians and Royals. The Royals? Now that is upheaval."
FanGraphs' Marc Hulet released his list of the top 15 Reds prospects
The only real surprises are that he ranks Ryan Wright and Sean Buckley at #11 and #12, respectively. Here's his snippet about Wright: "A hitting machine in college, Wright picked up right where he left off when he said goodbye to school to pursue his pro career. The second baseman hit more than .300 in 183 at-bats in Rookie ball. He also surprisingly popped eight home runs, although he was hitting in a good league for power numbers and wasn’t exactly young for the competition. Wright will definitely want to be a little less aggressive as he moves up the ladder, after walking just 4.9% of the time. An offensive-minded second baseman, he’s not a great fielder at second and he played multiple positions in college, leading some to project him as a utility player at the big league level."
Red Reposter NEWS FROM HELL
Dominique Strauss-Kahn used to be high roller in the game of French politics, serving until last year as the head of the IMF. He resigned his post after he was charged with raping a hotel maid in New York, but that charge was later dropped. He's not out of the woods though, as new allegations of prostitution have surfaced. He doesn't deny sleeping with the women, but rather defends himself by saying that he did not know they were prostitutes. Apparently, he attended sex parties where women were just walking around naked. "I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman," his lawyer Henri Leclerc has told French television. Just...wow.
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"I challenge you to distinguish between a dead prostitute from any other dead woman."
by btcoop71 on Feb 21, 2012 12:45 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
re: "But you end up having to match up against No. 1's the rest of the year.."
By “the rest of the year” Dusty means for a couple of weeks at most.
I kind of admire Dusty and his ability to get right out there to Spring Training and start talking a lot without saying nothing.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
That's the thing about Dusty, though.
Cueto’s a fine choice: I just have to tune out anything he says to support his decisions.
I know. I know. I'll get there too.
That’s what Spring Training is for, right?
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 1:18 PM EST up reply actions
Like 95% Dusty is trolling us with the Bronson comment though
Can someone make a .GIF of Troll dancing with Reds hat on, a toothpick in mouth, and Dusty Baker’s uniform? Pretty please?
That hat-tilt pegs him as a decent righty with a 12-6 curve, though.
What’s his K/BB? Is he out of options?
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 2:27 PM EST up reply actions
He's got a freakishly low release point that really throws off hitters.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 8:58 PM EST up reply actions
"The little lights aren't twinkling"
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
by btcoop71 on Feb 21, 2012 2:31 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That is the only thing that makes sense.
I don’t know if anyone other than Dusty and Obwok even slightly considered starting Arroyo on opening day this year. There is no reason to defend not using Arroyo.
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
He's right though
Bronson would be better down a bit in the rotation, like maybe 8th.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
he's got to get his platitudes in shape just like anybody else.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Nice and firm and tautological.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 1:38 PM EST up reply actions
I wonder if Dusty realizes that Cueto won't be going up against the Marlins #1 on Opening Day anyway
Josh Johnson will be pitching the day before against the Cards.
by Supreme Olajuwon on Feb 21, 2012 1:40 PM EST up reply actions
and I know it's all fake and doesn't hold up anyways.
But assuming all #1s are the same skill, #2s the same, etc. wouldn’t it make sense to go
#1>#2
#2>#3
#3>#4
#4>#5
#5<#1
to give yourself the best chances to win?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Madville posts a pic in 3...2...1...
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 1:49 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
How to make your marriage work:
TELL YOUR WIFE SHE LOOKS PRETTY, EVEN IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRUCK.
Ricky - age 10
by Madville on Feb 21, 2012 2:48 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
NAILED IT!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 21, 2012 4:51 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Like Eskimos and their words for "snow"
The French have 31 different phrases for, “You’re not a prostitute, right?”
And also 31 phrases for, “Whatever, just get in here and brace yourself.”
by Brendanukkah on Feb 21, 2012 1:56 PM EST up reply actions
Rednecks have one word for home:

How to make your marriage work:
TELL YOUR WIFE SHE LOOKS PRETTY, EVEN IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRUCK.
Ricky - age 10
Is that word "awesome"?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 22, 2012 8:13 AM EST up reply actions
If Walt's says he's "not even considering Oswalt"..
..he’s either lying or he’s not doing his job.
Excuse me for pretending that because I’ve seen Jerry Maguire once or twice I need tell Walt something he doesn’t already know here. But he should have an intern calling Oswalt’s agent every two hours to make sure the Reds get a chance to improve on whatever the Cardinals offer is going to be.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
Would you trust anything with Teh Fya?
He just doesn’t tell Fya or Sheldon anything.
Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the Sun
Eh.
He says he’s in on Oswalt and everyone’s bummed if it doesn’t work out. He says he’s not in on Oswalt and everyone’s excited if it does workout.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I feel as if Darren Baker should be older by now.
He’s looked the same age for a few years now.
by the finest muffins on Feb 21, 2012 1:34 PM EST reply actions
Black don't crack.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 1:39 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
same here
I’m surprised he’s still so little.
He’s what, 13 now? Seems like he should be bigger.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Man...Steve Gibraltar
.316/.381/.616 as a 22-year-old in AAA.
Got a total of 5 PAs for the big club.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Yeah, but steve hit well enough to make as a 2b
He was just a AAA outfield bat,
by Eastwindquinn on Feb 21, 2012 1:59 PM EST up reply actions
.367 BABIP that year, .314 career
He was a much better prospect than Phipps, but he’s another example of why Phipps isn’t a prospect.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
Jon Heyman really needs to grow some thicker skin.
Given that he’s a national sports-writer, it seems like it would take way too much of his time to get angry at every person who vaguely makes fun of him.
random dude tweets at Heyman: "what did AJ Burnett have for breakfast today?"
Aerys writer Stacey Gotsulias RT’s it. Heyman is upset because (I think) Gotsulias a) doesn’t know Burnett b) was once the object of a nice thing done by Heyman’s wife. Then all of the sudden all of these people come out of the woodwork and attack “bloggers” for, well, what I’m not quite sure. Heyman gets all proper. The worst people on the internet high-five each other. EXUNT.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Apparently it is true. Stacey did used to work with Heyman's wife, who is really nice. Still irrelevant.
oh! I also just got Aerys Sports' name!
I never read any Game of Throneses (Games of Thrones?) so I’m at a disadvantage here. But it’s quite clear you, Andromache, are a great fit.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Yeah, she also disagreed with him on some Yankee-related pie thing last week too.
Also, it’s funny because it’s drawn some OTHER former co-worker of hers out on twitter who is trying to make a common cause with Heyman over hating her.
that was a very strange slice of internet weirdness that just occured.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Hmmm
And here I thought I couldn’t think any less of him.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 21, 2012 3:10 PM EST up reply actions
who are the worst sportswriters, by sport?
I dont’ care about the NBA, but they’re usually entertaining writers, except for the obtuse racists. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything about hockey. I’d rank the rest NCAA-MLB-NFL, from best-to-worst.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
There's always the fine duo from my alma mater...
Skip Bayless and Buster Olney.
/pukesinshame
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, but Skip more than makes up for him.
Sorry, KMIB.
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
I hope Skip, JJ Redick, John Heyman, and Don King ate buddies.
I also hope they enjoy frequenting the Bermuda Teiangle, Mt. Vesuvius, and Ciudad Juarez.
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 5:58 PM EST up reply actions
Who's worse, Skip Bayless or Colin Cowherd?
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:06 PM EST up reply actions
Who's worse, Chris Carpenter or Yadier Molina?
You see the dilemma.
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 9:19 PM EST up reply actions
I've all but completely avoided Bayless. I've only seen a few minutes of First Take
or whatever that show is called.
I’ve heard many hours of Colin Cowherd’s radio program and seen a few episodes of SportsNation. Cowherd seems to take pride in being ignorant about a good many things. It’s almost as if he would rather be wrong than take the time to discover what’s right.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:27 PM EST up reply actions
I think he's smart. Smart enough to know how he gets his bread buttered.
You go and smart yourself up too much and soon you’ll find your massive audience losing interest. ..I think I’ve even heard him say as much in that tedious, convoluted and exhausting Cowherdian way of his.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 9:33 PM EST up reply actions
So you're saying that he plays dumb to pander to his audience?
God help us.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:35 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, but why do it in the sports world?
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:45 PM EST up reply actions
Is Cowherd significantly more popular than Mike & Mike?
Mike & Mike have their flaws, but I don’t get the impression that they’re willfully ignorant in order to attract listeners.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:50 PM EST up reply actions
MIke & MIke have the much more coveted time slot.
At least I think that’s how this stuff still works.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 9:53 PM EST up reply actions
Hey, I won't be able to make the meet up with you guys next Wednesday
I have class from 5:00- 9:00.
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
So, you'll need a Co-Cola at about 9:15!
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 10:01 PM EST up reply actions
You just go on back to your dorm, youngster. You'll think of something.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 10:22 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
I think I'm in love
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Feb 21, 2012 10:28 PM EST up reply actions
I'll fight ya for her!
Or, I mean, beat you in FIFA or take more resin hits than you!
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 10:31 PM EST up reply actions
OOOH! This is gonna be good.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 10:33 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I like how the panda kicks the pile at the end
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
That Panda is racist...
How to make your marriage work:
TELL YOUR WIFE SHE LOOKS PRETTY, EVEN IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRUCK.
Ricky - age 10
With pandas..
It’s always a black and white issue.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 22, 2012 9:09 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I think they sometimes do, but that comes with the territory of sports radio
They’re fine compared to most ESPN anchors, though
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
Exactly, compared to most of the fools on ESPN/talk radio,
they are fairly reasonable.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:55 PM EST up reply actions
I think the best thing about Mike & Mike is that they pretty much realize their ignorance...
Greenberg’s basically a super-fan, who admits he never played the game and is really just guessing about what happens between the lines.
Golic’s basically a jock, who admits that he played the game at an average level, but isn’t especially educated or knowledgeable about anything else.
Golic will occasionally have a really interesting insight
into the mind of a pro athlete that isn’t some worn-out cliche.
I wish I knew when he would have these so I could turn the radio on in time to hear them.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:59 PM EST up reply actions
should really have Javon the Zombie as well as Stubbs the Zombie...
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Kinda.
Think about it, doesn’t he introduce every other analyst or beat reporter on his show as “a guy much smarter than me and really knows what he’s talking about…”
Disclaimer: I don’t listen to very much sports-talk radio anymore. It could be that every ESPN jock does this same thing?
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 9:44 PM EST up reply actions
Sure, but then he disagrees with these analysts and the people who call in trying to reason with him.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:45 PM EST up reply actions
Well, that's just the formula for 80% of talk radio.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 9:51 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, I guess I just really hate talk radio.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:54 PM EST up reply actions
podcasts are the talk radio of the future.
That said, I don’t listen to them, either.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
The Fangraphs one is ok.
The Pozcast was great when Poz was updating it regularly.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:57 PM EST up reply actions
You should check out Comedy Bang Bang
I think you’d enjoy it
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
Redleg Nation has a great list of podcasts for considering but ultimately ignoring.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 9:58 PM EST up reply actions
S'up Pete !!!
How to make your marriage work:
TELL YOUR WIFE SHE LOOKS PRETTY, EVEN IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRUCK.
Ricky - age 10
I've heard people say the same thing about Willie Cunningham and I assure you Willie is anything but ignorant or dumb
It’s a schtick.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I think we sometimes overlook the fact that..
these folks are part of the entertainment industry and a lot of them are coming from a background in theater (even if it’s just high school drama club-ish theater). And if they aren’t they certainly have at least a cursory understanding of what good old Orson Welles did with ‘War of the Worlds’ all those years ago.
Sure, a lot of these radio and tv personalities come to their ‘positions of authority’ from professional athletics or the finance industry or psychological counseling or dog training or whatever but it can’t take long to develop a ‘persona.’ Especially if that’s what your boss tells you to do to get ratings.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 22, 2012 10:38 AM EST up reply actions
The Herd is the sports version of the Rush Limbaugh Show.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:36 PM EST up reply actions
Skip Bayless is an asshole, but he's doesn't say some of the truly awful shit Cowherd does
Especially the Sean Taylor thing
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
Cowherd also plagiarized that Michigan blog.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:41 PM EST up reply actions
What Sean Taylor thing are your referencing?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 21, 2012 9:42 PM EST up reply actions
He basically said Taylor was a thug and had it coming.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:46 PM EST up reply actions
When he was killed, Cowherd mades some comments basically saying that he had it coming
The Ombudsmen had to issue an apology
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:46 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:47 PM EST up reply actions
this is true
Bill Cunningham would also have been acceptable
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Feb 21, 2012 10:22 PM EST up reply actions
I've yet to actually listen to Cunningham's show.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 10:28 PM EST up reply actions
definitely a good decision
I occasionally catch it during the summer, since Reds season is the only time I listen to WLW. I will listen for a few minutes if I fire up the car the morning after a game. It’s like the Glenn Beck show in that the craziness is hard to turn off but awful at the same time.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Feb 21, 2012 10:33 PM EST up reply actions
I can't stand that dbag
Respect my authoritah!
by BigBadBruce on Feb 21, 2012 11:58 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah
He’s on before Coast to Coast on the station here which I listen to as I fall asleep. He’s too painful to endure more than a minute or so. Its the same scripted BS, you’d think that people would figure that out, but I gave up on thinking it was possible.
Ironically, just to the left of that station is WTAM out of Cleveland which comes in depending on the weather, so I listen to C2C on that.
I did not know that Buster went to Vandy.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:00 PM EST up reply actions
Golly, Jim Bowden just keeps on Tebowing us poor Reda.
In his latest piece for The (former?!) G.M.’s Office (sadly and inexplicably behind the insider pay wall), he lists Brad Boxberger as one of his players poised for a breakout season. Link: http://insider.espn.go.com/blog/the-gms-office/post?id=3462
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 3:48 PM EST reply actions
poor Reda?
Do you mean Aaron Poreda?
by andromache on Feb 21, 2012 5:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Using my iPhone exclusively while we wait for our wireless network has been detrimental to my natural eloquence.
See above, where I mentioned that I hope 4 people I dislike “ate” buddies.
Sheesh.
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 6:00 PM EST up reply actions
Speaking of which
‘KRP, our cable/Internet guy is supposed to be by tomorrow (and I’m giving up weekday sixers for Lent), so we should all be able to properly tell Dioner to suck it by the end of the week.
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 6:28 PM EST up reply actions
Though he did give the Reds an A- on their offseason, second only to the Marlins
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 21, 2012 6:10 PM EST up reply actions
I imagine this subject line as a Metallica lyric.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 21, 2012 10:24 PM EST up reply actions
MLB Network is smart.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 6:08 PM EST up reply actions
man
Bruce is looking svelte. He doesn’t even have any boobs any more.
And is that 5 gallon bucket Ramsey posted a photo of really a barf bucket? They work them that hard?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I remember the high school baseball team had to run until they puked.
I ran track and was pretty happy. I was a thrower, but we still had to run with the rest of team the first two weeks. I never came close to needing to puke.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 6:09 PM EST up reply actions
Ah, you whippersnapper!
Kids used to ride bikes without helmets, too! And take excedrin for headaches! And…and…and there was another thing we used I do, but I can’t remember it anymore.
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 6:26 PM EST up reply actions
My dad used to tell me that when he played HS football...
the coaches would put oatmeal in the water, to discourage players from drinking it. That was the mid-late 70’s, things sure have changed.
Ah, my senior year we got a new marching band director whom we all hated, and she did everything she could to proove herself a badass
So she would delay water breaks in band camp until she was happy with our progress, and we had kids passing out in 95 degree heat.
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
We had kids pass out at the Memorial Day parades.
One girl even pissed her pants. Most people would do it because they locked their knees. But, these kids said it was because they were thirsty. Granted it was a hot day, 85 degrees by 10am, but it wasn’t that bad. The parades only lasted 45 minutes tops and they gave plenty of water.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 6:33 PM EST up reply actions
Locking your knees is bad, but that year was the first year we had multiple people pass out at band camp
One year the band played at an ROTC ceremony, and like half a dozen ROTC kids passed out in the gym from locking their knees, we laughed at them.
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
We laughed at the girl that pissed her pants.
Looking back on it, that was pretty mean.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 6:48 PM EST up reply actions
find her on facebook and say you are sorry.
by Eastwindquinn on Feb 21, 2012 11:01 PM EST up reply actions
I'm not that sorry.
She still peed her pants.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 11:02 PM EST up reply actions
x
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 11:02 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Times like these
I’m glad I’m awful at sports and quit band.
"guys... Dave Grohl out there rocking out #Iknowhisnamebecausefoofighterenthusiastscussedmeout"--Pat McAfee
I hate to be all "back in my day..." at age 24
but back in my day, there was a football player who went to rowing winter workouts. He puked the first day. A lot.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 21, 2012 10:07 PM EST up reply actions
OH MY GOD!
Did you do marching band without helmets too?
by Brian B on Feb 21, 2012 10:16 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
double curse
Being in Wisconsin while the whole Lombardi mystique was still alive (train like military recruits) and a coach who had us go without water to toughen us up.
the girls would put a bayer asprin between their knees to prevent pregnancy
is that what you forgot?
by Chester Drawers on Feb 21, 2012 6:56 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
and if Fries-boy gets it his way,
Aspirin will let you come on the back, big time.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
That's just how it is.
The way it was for us if you threw up a second time, then you sat out. The first puke was considered getting rid of water. The second one was when it was dangerous. This is if the temperature is below 90 degrees. During football season they were a little more cautious. My problem is that I no matter how much I ran, I couldn’t puke. For other kids it came easy, but I couldn’t do it even if I gagged myself.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 6:30 PM EST up reply actions
What conditioning?
You were in the band.
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
My freshmen year, I was forced to go through band camp even though I played football.
It was the directors rule. So, that week I had to go to football camp and band camp. But, I digress, the football players would listen to basically nothing the director told us to do. First, it was because he was a pompous ass. Secondly, we shouldn’t have been there because we played football.
He tried to get us to run laps for refusing orders and such. We just sat there and laughed at him. There was no way I was running in band.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 6:50 PM EST up reply actions
Why did you have to go to band camp?
That is the stupidest fucking thing I heard all day, and I was at a public school today.
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
by Yossarian22 on Feb 21, 2012 6:55 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
The band director be loved by everyone at the school, except those who in the band.
The parents worshiped the ground he walked on. But, he was in reality he had no respect, and was a pompous asshole. He was incredibly good at what he did, even if sometimes it was more cronyism. But, I digress, he demanded all freshmen to march for one game and go to band camp. So, we had to go.
Ask 3fast… he could probably vouge for it. Even though I don’t remember if he was in band or not.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 6:59 PM EST up reply actions
So he was incredibly good at making people think he was incredibly good at what he did.
One thing I have discovered through the years, with many different directors, if a director has no respect from his ensemble members, he isn’t very good. I have had some absolute assholes who are not great human beings, but were very good directors, and they were respected for that.
That guy really sounds like he was on a crazy power trip.
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
Yeah, it was a power trip.
He was legitimately good at his job. But, I remember a few times at contest where the people he knew got us in to state and got us Superior ratings.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 7:08 PM EST up reply actions
Unrelated, I may have a lead on a teaching job for you, you could email me at my garbage email
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
wow that seems really really spamy
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
by Yossarian22 on Feb 21, 2012 7:24 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I'll shoot you an email tomorrow.
You know, when I’m at school, and I’m really bored.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 8:10 PM EST up reply actions
I am jealous of you and your internet privileges.
Although tomorrow I am filling in for a teacher who has a student teacher, which is always the bee’s knees.
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
Yeah, I remember when I was a student teacher and there was a sub.
Usually, I had the same one, and she was super nice. Actually, she was going back to school for teaching. So, we were kind of in the same spot. The only difference is that I sat there all day, and she did nothing.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 21, 2012 8:35 PM EST up reply actions
I think it is hillarious
I don’t even have a teaching certificate, and I am required to be there with somebody who has spent the last several years studying education.
For every cake day, there are 3 days from hell, so I’ll take it when I can get it.
I also once worked with a student teacher who was so incompetent she needed me to maintain order in the class.
"Uh, we're going to win for you tonight...Schottzie."-Chris Sabo
Yeah, I was in the band... forced to by my parents
They made me start in 5th grade and said I could quit after my junior year if i wanted to thinking who would actually quit with one year left. Well, me for one.
The director was excellent at his job, but yeah, he came off a bit pompous and could definitely be more than a bit self-righteous.
He goes to the same church as my parents and still doesn’t talk to me 10 years later.
Dirt Bikes!
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Feb 23, 2012 9:02 AM EST up reply actions
That's the funniest thing I think I've ever heard you say.
I’d rec it if I could. #mobileRRsucks
by Brian B on Feb 21, 2012 10:19 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Ick.
I guess the heart wants what it wants.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 22, 2012 10:40 AM EST up reply actions
You haven't lived until you've worked so hard that you puke
It’s a mental thing. It reveals your true physical limits, not the ones in your head.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Unless you are one of those people who can't puke.
Then you just feel like you are going to die. But, facing your death is kind of the same thing right? RIGHT?!?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 22, 2012 10:14 AM EST up reply actions
Pretty much
There’s a huge difference between feeling like you’re going to die and actually being in danger in my opinion. Other than high heat situations, I think it’s a good thing to push yourself as far as you can possibly go, then a little more.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Yeah, they look like they're working really hard....

I love baseball....I love the Reds. Let’s kick some ass this season! ~BigBabyBruce
I think they call those Cueto kicks now
by Chester Drawers on Feb 21, 2012 6:59 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
"Let me cherry pick a picture of them stretching and say they aren't being worked hard."
Cincy Jungle: Where the Rocky Mountains are in the Pacific Ocean
I'm just joking! I'm sure the boys are all working very hard.
I love the Reds. They’re my favorite team!
It is a ridiculous picture though.
I love baseball....I love the Reds. Let’s kick some ass this season! ~BigBabyBruce
You still owe me three Iroquois Twists
One, hi-ya-ya
by DevilsAdvocate on Feb 21, 2012 7:49 PM EST up reply actions
This is more like it...

How to make your marriage work:
TELL YOUR WIFE SHE LOOKS PRETTY, EVEN IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRUCK.
Ricky - age 10
by Madville on Feb 21, 2012 7:57 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Tom Aker and a 17-y-o Claude Osteen are #40 and #34, respectively.
No idea who the other three are. Bummer that you managed to find a picture of the ’57 Reds without the Young Lefthander.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 21, 2012 10:04 PM EST up reply actions
'57, eh?
So what’s with the red line? Commies gettin’ THE HELL OUT?!?
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 10:08 PM EST up reply actions
Would you rather have these 1936 duds? (Trick question: you wouldn't)

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 21, 2012 10:10 PM EST up reply actions
I'm not sure I realized the "new" script Reds logo was actually retro.
by the finest muffins on Feb 21, 2012 10:12 PM EST up reply actions
That didn't stop anyone from hating it.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 10:14 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, I think I'm probably more forgiving than most fans when it comes to adding blue or black or gray or whatever...
BUT AT LEAST KEEP THE LEGS RED, DAMMIT!
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 10:14 PM EST up reply actions
But Tony isn't left handed!!!
Besides he wasn’t on the 40 in 1958 LOL
How to make your marriage work:
TELL YOUR WIFE SHE LOOKS PRETTY, EVEN IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRUCK.
Ricky - age 10
He was. They then told him they
wanted to try him at 3b and to be latino and tall. He went home and worked on being right handed, tall, cooban, and unintelligible.
Bronson Arroyo is the consonant professional - John Teh Fay
Good question.
- is a manager or coach or something. The only player to wear #24 that year in games was Jerry Lynch who was a right handed outfielder, making it pretty fucking curious that he’s throwing with his left hand. Probably not him.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
Godfuckinglord, it should be #1
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
Godfuckinglord = God masturbating?
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 11:08 PM EST up reply actions
Double rainbow'd.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 21, 2012 11:11 PM EST up reply actions
It's the only year they wore sleeveless unis with those striped socks.
I suppose they could be using last year’s jerseys in ’58, but I doubt the Reds were THAT skinflint.
I have no idea how spring training worked back then (but I’d love to hear). Maybe he’s some young kid who was sent down?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 21, 2012 11:13 PM EST up reply actions
I swam for a number of different "year-round" teams in my younger days,
and they usually had a barf bucket on the pool deck, even when I was in grade school.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:08 PM EST up reply actions
Isn't a pool just one big ol' barf bucket?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 21, 2012 9:10 PM EST up reply actions
I don't think I barfed in the pool.
We learned at a pretty young age to just urinate in the pool so we wouldn’t interrupt practice. There’s so much chlorine it doesn’t really make a difference anyway.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 21, 2012 9:14 PM EST up reply actions
Pool = pee bucket.
Vortex + funnel cake = puke bucket.
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 9:21 PM EST up reply actions
The only time I barfed
was when we did conditioning with pool exercises
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
Since I don't see anyone answering this
the bucket is full of baseballs. Once it is emptied, everybody pukes in it. Last person to puke has to eat it.
I think.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Feb 22, 2012 9:11 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm glad RR News From Hell is back
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 21, 2012 6:11 PM EST reply actions
This just got put in the entryway of the Moerlein Lager House
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
I print-out of this post?
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 21, 2012 6:23 PM EST up reply actions
Volen't us?
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 6:32 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
We're I'm!
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 21, 2012 6:37 PM EST up reply actions
Ryan Wright got a lot of love from the fundits
for a 5th round pick with only a very short season of rookie ball under his belt. If you included Hulet’s rankings, he’s about 18th in the aggregate.
Someone “to keep an eye on going forward.” He’s 22 so he could rise quickly.
And Corcino is pretty universally liked. That’s good.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 21, 2012 6:23 PM EST reply actions
yeah, lots of people seem to love lil Cueto
although there’s lots of murmurings that he won’t stick as a starter. That would suck.
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
He seems like a Mike Leake type.
Only with Cueto stuff.
It's not how far you go, it's how go you far. - Dave Marshak
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 21, 2012 7:44 PM EST up reply actions
Wrong...Johnny C is da man.
How to make your marriage work:
TELL YOUR WIFE SHE LOOKS PRETTY, EVEN IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A TRUCK.
Ricky - age 10
there's at least evidence he's hanging out with Johnny this spring.
Hopefully he’s running stairs with him, too.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 21, 2012 10:05 PM EST up reply actions
Oh, and for my fellow past, present, and future Marylanders:
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
This is better than Crystal Palace Baltimore becoming Crystal Light Baltimore
by Brendanukkah on Feb 21, 2012 10:32 PM EST up reply actions
and if CPB moved to Howard County,
they could become Crystal Meth Baltimore
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 21, 2012 10:36 PM EST up reply actions
Wait, did that happen?
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
Looks like the guy lost an eye in the Maryland state sport
which is?
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
"I'm sorry I keep laughing during the negotiations, Mr. Molina."
“It’s just that your neck tat is so ridiculous. Really, what WERE you thinking?”
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Someone should probably tell him that nobody's going to give him 200 million American dollars
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Feb 22, 2012 6:55 AM EST up reply actions
200 million yen?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 22, 2012 8:14 AM EST up reply actions
200 million renmenbi
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."

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