Asking Just the Right Question at Just the Right Time: A Red Reporter Apprenticeship
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 2, 2012 12:01 AM EST
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PrintSaturday morning, the middle child (Tommy, 5) and I ate some toast and eggs, dropped some cake balls off at the church's bake sale and braved the little blast of wet snow to head north to Polaris Fashion Place. The Reds' Caravan was in town and we felt we needed to be there. Not sure why I felt I needed to be there but I told Tommy it was a "baseball party" and he was sure that he needed to be there so that was good enough for me.
We were a few minutes early and turnout was somewhat light so we were pretty confident that we'd be to able get around pretty easily and get what we wanted. The first thing we wanted was a picture with 2007 first round draft pick Devin Mesoraco. ..Check.
As you can see, the kid is an absolutely gorgeous hunk of classic American boy. Give him a Sharpie and hold him up so he doesn't get stepped on and.. Boom! Autographs. He got the Reds' top prospect to sign one side of a little foam baseball and then got the Reds' perfect-game lefty workhorse to sign the other. I'm not usually one to ooh and ahh at autographs but I think Tommy had the coolest little piece of memorabilia in the joint and it wasn't even 10am.
Soon, that one mascot (FIIK!?!) was done warming up the crowd and Thom was bellowing about the great sports fans in the capitol city Buckeyes and introducing everyone for the Q&A session. About this time we bumped into the lovely Mrs. Charlie Scrabbles. Tommy chatted her up (piano.. waffles.. Mario.. Fellas, y'know how it goes, right?) while Chuck and I tried to catch any tidbit Walt was offering about Chapman not going to the bullpen or the awesomely top secret plan to sign Oswalt Thursday afternoon.
It all went by pretty quickly and before we knew it Thom was looking around and bellowing for "Any last questions?..."
Young Thomas Wesley has a lot to learn about baseball on the field but he's seen me spend enough time analyzing the league at Red Reporter to know that being a Reds fan is not all brushes with fame and shmoozing pretty ladies so he shot Brennaman a confident glance and headed right up to the stage where he could be seen and heard clearly took a cue from me and let Thom pick him up like the 36-pound jelly-mold of cute that he is.
"Mr. Castellini," Thom bellowed, "this young Reds fan has a question and he's taking it right to the top...What's your name and what's your question, big guy?"
"Hi. Tommy. Umm... Can I have a balloon?"
It was a good day for at least two Reds fans in Central Ohio.
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This is really great. FVA
and ideal reading for the end of a long day.
After seeing that picture, I can’t imagine Meso letting Tommy down with a sub-Rookie of the Year performance.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 2, 2012 12:15 AM EST reply actions
Thanks.
Speaking of ‘not letting Tommy down,’ Meso was literally holding Tommy for that picture. I kinda caught him off guard with that hand-off but I think it makes for the better picture. Besides, Spring training is still a few weeks off and I didn’t want to ask our catcher to get in his crouch just yet.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 2, 2012 9:06 AM EST up reply actions
yeah
it makes me rethink my staunch anti-child believes.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
it's a great way to get autographs and baseballs
Borrow someone’s kid.
Little girls work even better than little boys. A cute little girl sitting above the dugout will go home with a dozen baseballs.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
How many little girls did you take to the Rice game last year?
Imagine there is a positive perhaps winking emoticon here.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
I've never gotten a ball at a game
I discovered baseball too late. My cute little kid days were long behind me by the time I became a baseball fan. And I’m too short to actually catch one, what with all the six foot giants around. Who bring their gloves.
Now I have to wait until I’m a little old lady. They do pretty well, too.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
You could always take the Mardi Gras beads approach
I mean, it’s worth a try at least.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 3, 2012 8:39 PM EST up reply actions
I think I'd have better luck with blackmail
“Hey, Zack! Gimme a ball, and I promise I won’t post that photo I took of you picking your nose and eating the boogers on the Internet!”
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
post it anyway!!
do it! do it! do it!
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
I got one at a Florence Freedom game, when they were in Hamilton, so there were like 12 fans at the game.
In 1998 my folks and I went to a Cardinals game and showed up early to watch McGwire take batting practice. Jeff Brantley (who was a Cardinal) tossed my Dad a baseball.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
didn't get my first ball at a game until college
a foul that hit perfectly under my seat so i could grab it. next one was a foul ball at a spring training game i got in a similar manner. third one hatcher threw to me for sticking around after a rain delay in dc when it was approaching about 2am.
you’re never to old to get one!
I have yet to catch a baseball at a Reds game
Caught one at a Freedom game though, and a t-shirt from the cannon at a Reds game. Gave both to nearby kids.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
I got one of those stress ball things in Cleveland a few years ago.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
When I was 8 years old
I was at an Angels game and a foul ball landed in my seat. I was leaning forward looking for something, probably something to eat. Guy comes across the aisle, and takes it right out of my seat. Wouldn’t give the ball to the kid. Thought my dad was going to punch him out, but Mom calmed him down.
Haven’t caught a foul ball since.
But it’s all right, ma…
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Pokey Reese....picked up a foul ball between 3rd and the dugout.
My son and I were in the 1st row to the right of the dugout and the Pokester looked up, made eye contact and tossed us the ball – needless to say my son was thrilled.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Feb 8, 2012 9:55 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Pokey was the first guy I ever saw wear his cap with the bill intentionally cocked to the side.
’99, maybe?
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 12:10 PM EST up reply actions
I've only been to like a dozen Reds games
but I got a ball from a Sammy Sosa HR circa 1999 at Cynergy Field. I was in the 2nd deck up in right or right-center field. It hit the stands in the 3rd deck up but the guy must have dropped it and it fell straight down and landed inches from me. Must have been at least a 450-foot shot to the opposite field for Sammy – you know, the kinda stuff MLB players typically do.
It’s the only ball I’ve ever gotten at any baseball game. Yay for memories!
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
I've gotten several balls (and a glove) from players by flirting madly
Being a cute blonde girl has its perks. Doesn’t work quite as well now that I’m over thirty, though.
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
You could corner the market on Jamie Moyer memorabilia
by Brendanukkah on Feb 13, 2012 12:23 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
corner?
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
a glove?!
Which player gave you a glove? Was it Arroyo (or some other pitcher)?
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
No glove, no love.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Unfortunately, no
It was Jeff Cirillo when he was playing with the Brewers. I used to live in Wisconsin.
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
wow
That’s amazing. Position players get really attached to their gloves and rarely give them up. Balls, bats, hats, jerseys, even cleats are commonly donated or sold through dealers, but very few gloves. Except pitchers’ – they don’t care as much.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
He claimed he had a new one he was ready to use
I was surprised he gave it away, especially to me. I was just trying to get him to get me a picture with Brady Clark, who I though was hot.
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
heh
Always hit on the wingman. ;-)
But Brady Clark? “Hot” is not the first word that would occur to me…
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
This was like 10 years ago, I was young and had poor taste
Of course, I now think Bronson’s hot, so I’m old have have poor taste. And I totally added some new Glee songs to my iPod of craptacular workout music!
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
eh, I can't really criticize
I’ve been known to wax poetic about Paul Janish’s eyelashes.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Awe Hawkeye just show a bit of the ol' thigh...you'll have more balls than you know what to do with...
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
wait a minute
You’re not in Las Vegas???
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
Only in spirit.
But Tommy, Scrabbles and I were definitely a wolf pack. At a mall. In Ohio. On a Saturday morning.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 2, 2012 8:50 AM EST up reply actions
Last week he auditioned for the elementary school talent show. (Piano and stand-up comedy.)
Yeeeeahhhh… He kinda has groupies.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 8, 2012 12:12 PM EST up reply actions
thanks for the invite.
I would have said no anyway
:(
Dirt Bikes!
by 3 Fast 3 Furious on Feb 2, 2012 11:58 AM EST up reply actions
He moved to Arizona with Jin
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
You would think he'd try to get you a balloon too.
I like this kid.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
Hey, he knows a little bit about avoiding position redundancies.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 2, 2012 8:54 AM EST up reply actions
Thanks, Mrs.
I have two more good-looking spawn but since they (and their mother) don’t read Red Reporter I can say this here: Tommy’s my cutest and hammiest.
Avatar-worthy, that kid is. ;)
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 2, 2012 9:00 AM EST up reply actions
one day your kids are going to find this
and they are going to spend thousands of dollars on therapy!
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Nah
They’ll just hunt you down and beat you.
Or worse, stop pretending they are ever going to pay you rent for the 4 years they lived in your house after college.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Wait, the Caravan was at Polaris?
Fuck, I would’ve gone if I knew
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
What an adorable little boy!
Thanks for sharing, that was a great story. Sounds like a day he’ll remember.
darthmom: It's like sabremetrics, but for boobs.
FANtastic
making cherished memories around the bestest sports franchise to every exist. Good on ya.
by Howie Feltersnatch on Feb 2, 2012 10:30 AM EST reply actions
Yeah.
Tommy is pretty receptive and even curious about my love of the game.
His older brother usually shrugs it all off once the Cracker Jack has been devoured and all the swag has been distributed. He came home from school yesterday telling me about how “Shaun White usually gets A HUNDRED every time at the X Games but he sprained his ankle two days before so this time he got an 83.”
I said, “Oh! So he’s usually like the baseball of snowboarding but this time he was kinda like the snowboarding of snowboarding.”
(No I didn’t.)
(Well, maybe I kinda did.)
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 2, 2012 11:12 AM EST up reply actions
Awesome story, FVA.
Is this the same son who was in the picture with Joey Votto a few years ago?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
That was Preston, my oldest (now 7).
I told Devin about that picture with Joey as a prospect. Y’know, subtly implying that I now expect him to do everything that his MVP teammate has done during his time in the Reds system.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 2, 2012 11:04 AM EST up reply actions
Good thing END wasn't on that leg of the caravan...
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
by -ManBearPig on Feb 2, 2012 11:10 AM EST reply actions 4 recs
Look, FVA, you've melted this sourpuss's heart.
(just kidding, ’mache!)
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
I guess I could take credit.
But perhaps Mother Nature has something to do with it?
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 3, 2012 6:09 PM EST up reply actions
To cue you all in on how smart (or sleep deprived (but mostly how smart I am (NO EXCUSES!))) I am
I looked at the first pitcher of Meso with FVA’s son without reading anything first and though, wow that is not how I pictured Alan at all…
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Brackets in brackets in brackets
Is this Inception?
The secret, is to hit the computer with a hammer
JSUTINCEPTOIN!
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 3, 2012 10:32 PM EST up reply actions 8 recs
BRACKETS TO THE EXTREME!
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
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