The Red Report: Sean Marshall
This is the first in a series of posts that revive a long-lost, well-loved Red Reporter feature: the Red Report. The writing staff will be giving in-depth profiles on new faces who are at least somewhat likely to see time with the big league team this year.
Proposed Nicknames
Saving Sean Marshall (Setting Up Sean Marshall?), The Once and Former Cub, The Wood Shed, The Amp, The Stack, The Plan
Fast Facts
- Sean Marshall was born in Richmond Virginia. His older brother is a former farmhand in the Red Sox organization. Richmond is also the birthplace of Willard Marshall, an outfielder who played for the Reds for two seasons during the 1950s and attended the same high school as Sean. Baseball Reference doesn't list them as relatives, but considering the facts at hand and the genome of the South, they probably are related in some way (I'm allowed to say this because my recent relatives all came from a sticktown in WV) - though Marshall is a pretty common name down there.
- Virginia is also the birthplace of the other lefty shotgun barrel in the Reds' bullpen, Bill Bray, and Mat Latos too. This should help put the pitching staff's chemistry on a fast track.
- After pitching three seasons at Virginia Commonwealth, Marshall was drafted by the Cubs in 2003. He made his professional debut that same year with low-A Boise Hawks. He was teammates in the Cubs' system with Reds' spring training invitee Sean Gallagher. His lifetime minor league line is sterling, with a 2.70 ERA, 8.6 K/9 and 2.6 BB/9
- He was added to the Cubs 40-man roster after the 2005 season and began his major league career as a starter, making 24 starts his rookie year in 2006 - Dusty Baker's last in the Cubs' dugout.
- He converted to relief for good in 2010, after making both starts and relief appearances during ' 08 and '09. He started 2009 in the rotation, but spent most of the season in the bullpen.
- Depending on who you believe, Marshall has been one of the best relievers in baseball over the last two seasons. He's earned 5.0 fWAR as a set-up reliever (with 6 saves), ranking 3rd among all relievers in FanGraphs WAR in 2011.
- Walt Jocketty told reporters that discussion of a possible deal for Marshall with Theo Epstein began in mid-November 2011 at the GM Meetings. On the early press call, Jocketty quipped: "If we can't figure out a guy, we try to acquire him."
- Jocketty also expressed confidence in extending Marshall beyond his contract, which lapses after 2012, but there hasn't been much news to date on that front.
- Marshall has similar splits against lefty and righty batters: .263/.330/.403 vs. RHB and .227/.300/.363 vs. LHB.
- Like 97% of middle-to-upper class males from temperate-to-warm climates aged 25-105, he's an avid golfer and fisherman.
Transaction History
Drafted/Signed: Drafted by the Chicago Cubs in the 6th round of the 2003 amateur draft and signed June 7, 2003.
Traded: By the Chicago Cubs on December 23, 2011 to the Cincinnati Reds for Ronald Torreyes, Dave Sappelt and Travis Wood
Contract Status
Option years left: One
MLB Service time: 5.088 (Can refuse optional assignment)
Current Contract Status: Would have been eligible for his third year or arbitration, but signed a two-year contract with the Cubs prior to the 2011 season which pays him $3.1M in 2012.
Career Stats
| Year | Age | Tm | GS | GF | IP | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2003 | 20 | CHC-min | 2.34 | 15 | 0 | 80.2 | 1.165 | 7.9 | 0.1 | 2.6 | 11.0 | |
| 2004 | 21 | CHC-min | 2.90 | 13 | 0 | 77.2 | 1.043 | 7.5 | 0.3 | 1.9 | 8.6 | |
| 2005 | 22 | CHC-min | 2.68 | 16 | 0 | 94.0 | 1.170 | 7.6 | 0.8 | 3.0 | 8.1 | |
| 2006 | 23 | CHC-min | 3.32 | 4 | 0 | 21.2 | 1.431 | 7.1 | 0.4 | 5.8 | 8.7 | |
| 2006 | 23 | CHC | 5.59 | 24 | 0 | 125.2 | 83 | 1.520 | 9.5 | 1.4 | 4.2 | 5.5 |
| 2007 | 24 | CHC-min | 2.05 | 5 | 0 | 30.2 | 1.076 | 7.0 | 0.9 | 2.6 | 5.6 | |
| 2007 | 24 | CHC | 3.92 | 19 | 0 | 103.1 | 118 | 1.374 | 9.3 | 1.1 | 3.0 | 5.8 |
| 2008 | 25 | CHC-min | 3.41 | 7 | 0 | 31.2 | 1.011 | 7.4 | 0.6 | 1.7 | 7.1 | |
| 2008 | 25 | CHC | 3.86 | 7 | 6 | 65.1 | 120 | 1.270 | 8.3 | 1.2 | 3.2 | 8.0 |
| 2009 | 26 | CHC | 4.32 | 9 | 10 | 85.1 | 103 | 1.441 | 9.6 | 1.1 | 3.4 | 7.2 |
| 2010 | 27 | CHC | 2.65 | 0 | 16 | 74.2 | 160 | 1.112 | 7.0 | 0.4 | 3.0 | 10.8 |
| 2011 | 28 | CHC | 2.26 | 0 | 18 | 75.2 | 173 | 1.097 | 7.9 | 0.1 | 2.0 | 9.4 |
| 6 Seasons | 3.96 | 59 | 50 | 530.0 | 112 | 1.330 | 8.7 | 1.0 | 3.2 | 7.5 | ||
| 162 Game Avg. | 3.96 | 11 | 10 | 103 | 112 | 1.330 | 8.7 | 1.0 | 3.2 | 7.5 | ||
Scouting
Entering the 2009 season as a starter, Marshall had four pitches in his repetoir, while trying to develop a fifth for show. Pitch f/x IDs that fifth pitch as a two-seam fastball, which he only threw that season (and only once every 20 pitches). Since entering the bullpen permanently in 2010, Marshall has honed in on three pitches, throwing his curveball 40% of the time and his slider and four-seam fastball in roughly equal measure. His curveball is elite, his slider is above average, while his fastball is fairly pedestrian.
The curveball is a lethal centerpiece to the Marshall Plan of attack. As you can see in the video of him de-fanging his future teammates below, Marshall throws from a release point somewhere near Carlos Pena's head. His breaking pitches take the scenic route across the plate. You can see their devastating effect on cool guys, baseball's best hitters and lefties all in the last scene here:
Marshall has coaxed batters to wiff nearly 17% of the time on his curveball since 2010, a better rate than Felix Hernandez or Cliff Lee over the same period. It's his preferred out pitch, which he's thrown it the majority of the time in 1-2 and 2-2 counts since 2010, though he throws his fastball slightly more often 0-2 counts. He seems also to prefer to throw the curve as soon as he gets ahead.
His fastball velocity has increased a few ticks since he became a fulltime reliever, sitting around 90-91. His slider has good movement but is only separated from his fastball by an average of 5 mph. Still, with the curveball as his high-70s hammer, Madson can mix in the slider further frustrate batters who might be guessing fastball.
Marshall struck out a staggering 29.3% of batters faced in 2010 and 25.7% last season. He hit a career high in groundball rate (57.5%) in 2011, which meant that with his good command, batters were either striking out or hitting it through the infield over 2/3 of the time - which bodes well with an improved defense behind him.
That leaves little room for long fly balls: and indeed, Marshall's HR-rate plummeted to 0.12/9 last season. He's a good candidate to resist to even a virulent strain of GABP (which would look something like this) with a superb fielding independent pitching (FIP) profile and expected-FIP (xFIP) numbers in line with his actual ERA (exactly 2.50 in '10 and '11).
2012 Projections
My Made-up Projected Wins Above Replacement: 2.4
338 comments
|
1 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Raylan
In honor of my favorite TV marshal who is also the only TV marshal I know.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 10:59 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
Or if you're more hung up on titles than names, this guy:

by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 12:26 PM EST up reply actions
I thought you meant

"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Raylan Givens? You mean this Raylan Givens?

That sonofabitch robbed me one time.
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 10, 2012 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
Dewey Crowe needs his own show
He and Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 10, 2012 3:07 PM EST up reply actions
"The Plan" Awesome.

Thanks, ’KRP. This thread just got me geeked for the season all over again.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 11:08 AM EST reply actions
BAMB
After the mother love bone song
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Feb 10, 2012 11:45 AM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
I love how Votto argues balls and strikes
He always turns around and digs in the dirt or calmly sets his helmet down, all the while he’s giving the ump the business. And we know he’s got a temper when he has half a mind to use it.
And that pitch was outside.
outside or a strike
he flinched on a curve ball on the outside part of the plate. Nasty CB
by fromcubawithluv on Feb 10, 2012 12:29 PM EST up reply actions
This
http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=10997285
and
http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=9653289
The anger just means he cares :)
by fromcubawithluv on Feb 10, 2012 12:36 PM EST up reply actions
that's just poor sportsmanship
Votto should just play the game and not jaw at the umps, leave that to the coaching staff
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Feb 10, 2012 11:47 AM EST via iPhone app reply actions
He is an MVP.
He’ll do what he wants.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 11:50 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
He is an MVP
so he should do his best to stay in ballgames.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
I'll agree to this 100%.
We don’t need to see him being ejected in the first inning. Paul Janish can’t carry this team every single game. He is only one man.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 1:44 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
and
he had a down year. I hope Joey gets some of the rage back!
by fromcubawithluv on Feb 10, 2012 2:17 PM EST up reply actions
You would have a down year too if Jonny Gomes batted behind you in the line up.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
Joey Votto had a "down year" last year?
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
I mean I guess it wasn't as good as 2010
but expecting 2010 numbers from him every year, is absurd.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
not necessarily expecting it but....
He gets ejected twice in 2010 for screaming at umpires (see above links) and opses 1040 and then calms down a little the following year and he opses a much lower number than that. I am just pointing out that maybe he needs the rage back. I am not dissing the 2011 Joey just making an observation.
by fromcubawithluv on Feb 10, 2012 9:15 PM EST up reply actions
I'm not sure he actually calmed down
The Volquez incident was 2011, wasn’t it?
He wasn’t ejected, but he was the reigning MVP last year.
You know how it goes. The umpires keep newbs on a short leash, to show them who’s boss.
But elite players get different treatment, and Joey is in that category now.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
choose your own joke!


"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
by Yossarian22 on Feb 10, 2012 9:46 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
scairt of being wally pipped by Janish, undoubtedly
That 4 for 4 on the 4th stuck in his mind.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
it really isn't a problem at all
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Votto whined and won MVP in 2010
Votto did not whine as much in 2011 and was NOT MVP
= Let Joey whine all he wants.
Joey Votto is Canadien?
He was ejected once in 2009, by Jerry Crawford
and once in 2010 by DJ Reyburn. Both for arguing strike 3.
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
I could swear he was ejected at least twice in 2010
I was worried he was getting a reputation among the umpires for being a “difficult” player.
There was the 4th of July game where he was upset at not making the all-star team. And a game in August. Near the anniversary of his father’s death, which or may not be relevant.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
The August game you are thinking of, I think happened in 2009
where he was shouting Horseshit.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
nevermind, you were right
He was ejected on August 15th, 2010.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
sure, make me look it up
Second time this season first baseman thrown out in first
August 15, 2010
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
I looked it up too
and I remember it, and it was a ridiculous ejection.
Like the July ejection was justified.
But apparently Joey Votto also said something to the umpire about a pitch to Jay Bruce, and Votto really shouldn’t be bitching to the umpire about calls to other players. Joey should have had some situational awareness, because it was still a playoff chase at that time, and if the Reds would have lost the division by a game, and lost that game by a run or two, you would have wondered “what if”…
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Hmm, retrosheet let me down
retrosheet is dead to me
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
wait, no, I was the idiot
I was only look at Reds home games.
Phew, good thing I don’t have to do stuff like this for my job!
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
by Slyde on Feb 10, 2012 4:44 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
i didn't look like he was jawing at the ump, to me.
it seemed more like a “damn, that was a good curveball” comment by Votto and the ump agreeing.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
x

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 12:42 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
the Return of Trollclaim!
I don’t care for hotheads or poor sports, I bashed o’neill when he was here for acting like a baby. And I think Joey shows his ass sometimes.
Hey, sports is a business. Act like a professional.
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Feb 10, 2012 12:58 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
I wouldn't go that far.
Dude has a temper that is occasionally unreasonable.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 1:41 PM EST up reply actions
Okay.
Look, I’m not really trying to criticize Votto here. I think he’s extraordinarily professional the vast majority of the times. But when he gets pissed about something, he gets REALLY pissed about something. I don’t think he’s a hothead, but I also don’t think he’s “the exact opposite of a hothead.” That’s all.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 1:45 PM EST up reply actions
Can we call him 'passive-agressive' and then just get back to loving the guy?
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:16 PM EST up reply actions
Asshats.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:21 PM EST up reply actions
Well, there's a minority of us who are ready and willing to trade him.
Trade him today, even. If I understand them correctly.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:22 PM EST up reply actions
I was one of them before they made the trades.
But, I’m still in the “love Votto” camp. He is an awesome player, and I’m happy he is with the Reds.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:24 PM EST up reply actions
Et tu, Asshat?
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Them's fightin words.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:27 PM EST up reply actions
Actually, them's I-can't-believe-you-and-all-those-other-guys-are-stabbing-me-to-death-right-now words
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:28 PM EST up reply actions
I like to think that Caesar made a glorious last stand.
If only he had a flamethrower.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
How often that's true
at the turnpoints of history.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
I wasn't against trading Votto
if the return was right.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Not me.
I love the guy soooo much.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 2:41 PM EST up reply actions
that lone MVP voter from St. Louis
Brevity is the soul of wit.
What makes it unreasonable?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 1:44 PM EST up reply actions
See above.
When he gets angry, he gets scary angry.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 1:45 PM EST up reply actions
x

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 10, 2012 1:49 PM EST up reply actions 7 recs
I think the uncropped version is just as funny for some reason.

His arm position makes him look like a pissed off bird or something.
Andrew Luck or something.
No anchovies!
I said NO HORSESHIT ANCHOVIES!
"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 11, 2012 1:19 AM EST up reply actions
Because he yells and maybe curses?
Seems like a normal response to being angry to me. He should probably soften his language a bit. It doesn’t look good when you can hear him screaming “fuck” on tv from the field.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 1:50 PM EST up reply actions
and just think how it sounds.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
by Yossarian22 on Feb 10, 2012 1:53 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm willing to accept that I'm alone in this
but I personally believe that there very few things in life worth screaming profanities at a human being over.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions
whatever, fuckface
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 2:43 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
YOU'RE the fuckface.
^ said quietly and politely, of course
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
You have to cut SOME slack to dudes who are really amp'ed up..
…and in the moment are trying to be physically aggressive. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect all MLB players to turn to the ump who just blew a call and say nothing. Athletes are human. They may be over it in a few seconds, but it’s silly to expect a world-class athlete to play 162 games in about 178 days at full effort, working the count, using their strike zone judgment that they’ve honed over 20-30 years, yet never to verbalize his frustration in the heat of the moment.
"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 10, 2012 4:30 PM EST up reply actions
Okay, fine. I'll never understand that personally, but fine.
I just don’t think you can call anyone who’s capable of that kind of intense hateful reaction “the exact opposite of a hothead.”
That particular wording is truly all this was about for me. I should probably let it go.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 4:35 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
You have not met my son.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:43 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I can't decide what you're implying here.
That I’d want to scream profanities at your son, that your son likes to scream profanities at people, or that I would incite your son to scream profanities at me.
I suppose those are all funny, so kudos.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions
That his son incites him to scream profanities.
by Eastwindquinn on Feb 10, 2012 4:29 PM EST up reply actions
WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU, CUAFFLE?!?
"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 10, 2012 4:30 PM EST up reply actions
You're not on this conference call with me
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 2:44 PM EST up reply actions
If I was, I'd know what kind of cereal you are.
I bet you’re granola. Or honeycomb.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 2:49 PM EST up reply actions
Wait! You're Scrabbles!
Gotta be Alpha-Bits!
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 3:00 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
then you probably aren't paying attention.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Nah
She’s just a genuinely nice person, dumbfuck.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 4:00 PM EST up reply actions
she lives in Washington D.C.
how can she not get the urge to go to the Capital Building and scream profanities at the legislators as they walk out?
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
THEY NEED IT!
maybe the will legislate better.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
yelling is a sign of weekness
Yellers are morans.
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Feb 10, 2012 4:10 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
As are trolls.
"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 10, 2012 4:31 PM EST up reply actions
Are you fucking calling me old...

Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
by Madville on Feb 10, 2012 5:11 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Have you seen her art? I disagree.
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Just because someone shows a temper doesn't mean they arent a professional
Almost everyone gets angry and explodes with anything they really care about.
When Cuba said
The anger just means he cares :)
he may have been joking, but it is true.
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
Its not even a temper really
its just disagreeing. You are allowed to disagree with someone and I think Joey does it very respectfully.
I think you and I are writing the same point really
A couple of angry moments doesn’t mean MVottoP is acting “unprofessional” as obc2 might suggest
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
I was serious
Getting angry is a sign that someone cares about the outcome. I hope turns Green and gets crazy a lot this year.
by fromcubawithluv on Feb 10, 2012 2:20 PM EST up reply actions
when i was president of my college fraternity, i yelled at the chapter quite a bit
some people did not understand why i was getting upset at little things. then i explained to them that i yelled and got upset because i cared, and if i ever stopped getting upset at mistakes (mine and theirs) that i no longer cared.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Just because you feel like yelling doesn't make it an effective strategy though
I have three situations in my life where I am in charge of other people, and all of them make me feel like yelling at those people from time to time. But when I do, it rarely helps the situation, and usually happens because I wasn’t clever enough to find a more effective solution.
I agree that you wouldn’t have outbursts if you didn’t care, but it doesn’t mean that the converse is true (a lack of outbursts <> a lack of care) and they usually do more to harm the situation than help it.
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 10, 2012 3:12 PM EST up reply actions
Votto yelled at Volquez on the field last year, after Volquez made a base running blunder.
I thought that was in poor form.
He could have talked to Volquez in the dugout during the game, or even better he could have handled it behind closed doors.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Volquez got everything he deserved
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
year-round 75 degrees and sunny and a park to boost his stats?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I'd forgotten about that
I don’t really blame him. Heat of the moment, plus Volquez started it by griping about the lack of run support or something like that.
But…I think it’s fair to say that Joey can be just a tad hotheaded.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
If I am a manager (which I am not so my opinion is really of no value to anyone but me)
I would tell my players to never call each other out like that on the field or in the press.
Just because Volquez said something stupid to the press doesn’t give a teammate the right to call him out on the field.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
I think Joey knows that
He just got carried away.
All Things Bubba: Because how can you not love a baseball player named Bubba?
True.
I also think Volquez is an idiot.
Hello...BOOMSHAKALAKA!
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 10, 2012 7:12 PM EST up reply actions
He did/does have a certain 'Manny being Manny' quality to him.
And I don’t just mean the dreds.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 7:52 PM EST up reply actions
fuck Volquez
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 14, 2012 2:49 AM EST up reply actions
The Third Policeman!
RBK, you are a literary genius of rare ability.
That is all.
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
Not as good as At Swim Two Birds, but still
The Third Policeman is classic Irish humor – it is funny in a very dark way. At Swim Two Birds is just insanity.
If you like Flann O’Brien, you would probably like this:
It is a 30-minute short film by Martin McDonagh, who also wrote/directed In Bruges.
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 11, 2012 10:16 AM EST up reply actions
Actually I liked it better than At Swim Two Birds
Maybe I’m not Irish enough to get all the stuff in ASTB.
Third Policeman was great, though. Right about the time I was reading it, they discovered carbon nanotubes — very strong, and too small to see, just like the point of the dagger in TP.
I’ll put that film on my list, thanks!
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
ASTB has a lot of references to Irish Folklore
But in some ways, Third Policeman is even more “Irish”, in the way it is essentially one long, dark joke. No one is better at laughing in the face of unrelenting doom than the Irish.
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 13, 2012 10:03 AM EST up reply actions
There are plenty of petulant hotheads in baseball
(see: St. Louis Cardinals 40-man roster), but Votto isn’t one of them. He will (very rarely) call out an ump when he feels the “horseshit” has reached unacceptable levels, but he also goes out of his way to NOT show up the ump. He’ll might turn around and dig in the dirt with his head down, so the casual fan wouldn’t even know he’s arguing. There are plenty of players that throw up their hands and spin around and roll their eyes at every other call and complain in the media, but not Joey.
by MC Reds Hot on Feb 10, 2012 1:12 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
yeah, it's pretty clear he thought that one out in the clip above
turns his back to the camera and all of that.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I hope this isn't going to be a thing
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 12:47 PM EST up reply actions
Oh, you know it is going to be a thing.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
We're operating on a thing deficit for a couple more weeks
So be prepared to talk about the dumbest shit imaginable.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:07 PM EST up reply actions
I think we had one hope to make it not a thing, which would have been to ignore it entirely.
It’s too late now.
And what rough beast, it’s hour come at last,
Slouches towards the internet to be born
by andromache on Feb 10, 2012 2:13 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
It's a thing. Just embrace it.

How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:19 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I prefer a slightly more cuddly Thing

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:21 PM EST up reply actions
I don't know what this is,
But it is interesting
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
What about 'Marshall Law' for a nickname
If not that, I like The Plan, because of its historical reference.
Respect my authoritah!
Marshall Law?

I swear, I was just reading an article on Sammo Hung.
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 10, 2012 12:25 PM EST up reply actions
I prefer "the Plan"
because he is a late inning reliever.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
No on Marshall Law
BC soon that is what is gonna happen in the U.S if we do not get Obama out of office, and the NWO takes over this country..Ron Paul 2012
by Josh Mohr on Feb 11, 2012 12:56 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I think our true leader is Chris Carpenter.
"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 11, 2012 1:23 AM EST up reply actions
Ron Paul:
The man who wants to abolish public schools!
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Hey, he is a true Libertarian
Everyone should be able to do whatever they feel is best for them, as long as they are not women seeking birth control.
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 11, 2012 10:18 AM EST up reply actions
nothing wrong with Libertarians
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 14, 2012 2:51 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
That's right.
Hypocrites are open for mocking, however.
Cue Santorum and his partial birth abortion edicts.
"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 14, 2012 1:58 PM EST up reply actions
Marshell Law is on the way is it?
care to share your sources?
by Eastwindquinn on Feb 11, 2012 12:09 PM EST up reply actions
x

"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
by Cy Schourek on Feb 11, 2012 12:11 PM EST up reply actions
of course the image of 1996 WCW acts is going to be on Angelfire.
Of course.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
#goodlord
How do you feel about the streetcar while we’re at it?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Holy crap, he struck out Stubbs?!?!?!
This guy’s awesome
Follow on Twitter: @jluckhaupt. Buy The Wire-to-Wire Reds today!
On the 4 throws i can make before my bum elbow saps my 60 MPH velocity down to nothing
I could strike out Stubbs.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Avatar bet!
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 1:50 PM EST up reply actions
If you can set it up so I can pitch to Drew Stubbs, you are on!
I have a wicked screwball, which comes in at the same velocity as my fastball!
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Technically all Drew has to do is bunt right?
I mean he isn’t good at bunting, but I’d hope he can bunt a 60 MPH pitch that doesn’t move.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:12 PM EST up reply actions
Ah, i worked on my two seemer last summer
In either the 9th or 10th inning of Ken Burns Baseball, Bill Lee talks about how to throw a 2 seamer, and I did it, and my ball started to move.
Of course movement for me, is probably still straighter than a pitch witn “no movement” at the big league level.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
When I threw a two-seamer in little league I hit a kid about 25% of the time.
It turned my “scary” control into “I’m gonna kill you control”. My dad taught me how to throw a circle change because Rijo threw one. It wasn’t bad, but it was really all I had. I had some coach that would make me throw it 2/3 of the time because it had good drop. The only probablem is he would tell me from the dugout when to throw it. Even 12 year olds can pick up on that.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:26 PM EST up reply actions
i only had a circle changeup and a fastball
i started 2 games, only recording 1 out (combined) and allowed 9 runs and 8 runs, respectively. for those of you keeping score at home, that’s an ERA of 306. for a 6 inning game. i could throw hard, but i was only pitching because the scheduled starter was sick or hurt both games, and pitch location was something i had no concept of, so almost every pitch was down the middle. i think i only threw 2 or 3 called ball each start. this was 1995, i was 10, and i made the all-star team that year. not as a pitcher, but as 3B or 1B or C, and then the coach puts me in during an elimination game to play CF. at night, under the lights. we had never played under lights before, and only practiced once. needless to say, a ball was hit right to me, but i lost it in the lights. it still hit my glove, but bounced out. a run scored and we ended up losing by 1. story of my life, right there.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
I had a game like that
In little league I was the kid who pitched when one of our real pitchers was sick, I threw fairly hard (for a 10 year old) but had no control at all (head case).
One year we had a tournament against teams from another league (which was much superior to ours), and one of our pitchers was in a car accident and was too hurt to pitch, and another one was at Bible camp, so I came in relief.
I threw an inning, but I probably threw 50 or 60 pitches, and I am pretty sure they batted around twice. I kept hitting batters and walking batters, it was a long inning.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
can we just call you Janish from here on out, then?
"The USA despite its flaws and corruption and overall messiness is still a great and powerful instrument of freedom and hope for the entire world." - Madville
I pulled a total Janish
I also couldn’t hit.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
my biggest issue was i threw my arm out in a pick up wiffle ball game a few years ago
never repetitively try throw a wiffle ball as hard as you can.
I fucked up my elbow pretty good, and now after about twenty tosses playing catch, I lose the ability to throw the ball 50 feet, and my arm throbs for days.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
if your ball starts to move around, you might wanna see a doctor
Brevity is the soul of wit.
I wonder why the James projections have him regressing so much.
I doubt it’s a ballpark thing, since Wrigley is only slightly less favorable to hitters than GABP is. Also, it appears that the FIP and IP are reversed in the James projection column.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Probably because he is a reliever
and there are very few relief pitchers who are as good as Marshall is, year after year.
I am not saying Marshall will regress next year, but relievers tend to be volatile, so in a large scale projection model, it is expected that Marshall will regress to the mean.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Mar-Sean Marshall Marcia!

Hello...BOOMSHAKALAKA!
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 10, 2012 1:58 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
I'll fap you for it.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:09 PM EST up reply actions
Marshawnal Faulake?
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:08 PM EST up reply actions
/stretchingit
Whoever lives past today and comes home safely will rouse himself each year on this day, show his neighbors his scars, and tell embellished stories of all their great feats of battle.
Live baseball on MLBN!
It appears to be an Australian game. I think I just heard the announcer say CYBERmetrics instead of sabermetrics, and then talk about how important GB/FB ratio.
Let a man come in and do the Popcorn.
Crum-Bum Beat
Well, I'm assuming the announcer has an Austrian accent. So, Saber would sound like Cyber.
Well, then. G’day mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:20 PM EST up reply actions
I saw a week or two ago that their regular season was wrapping up.
I think I saw that there is one team that is head-and-shoulders better than all others and they’re in the middle of a dynasty.
Mate.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:25 PM EST up reply actions
I'm watching the same game

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 2:21 PM EST up reply actions 12 recs
I'm dizzy.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:21 PM EST up reply actions
It's from watching Paul Janish's career circle the drain in the wrong direction
by ken on Feb 10, 2012 2:22 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Paul Janish is playing baseball in Australia?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions
Damn
Great job.
Mgr., Red Reporter
"Bootsy, you're a superstar right?"
"Twinkle, twinkle, babble."
by RijoSaboCaseyWKRP on Feb 10, 2012 5:34 PM EST up reply actions
Wow Vasquez threw hard
140!
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
How about calling him The Atoll?

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Ys ma'am, that would be the reference
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Most disappointing island ever.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions
You don't like mushrooms?
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. ~ Ron Swanson
by BigBabyBruce on Feb 10, 2012 2:30 PM EST up reply actions
I don't like slag.
Or slag-ass hoes.
A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:31 PM EST up reply actions
What an a-hole

"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 2:33 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Wait... that's not true...
This is the most disappointing island ever.

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.
by GlennBraggsSwingAndMissBrokenBat on Feb 10, 2012 2:31 PM EST up reply actions
more like a combo of
Coma and Logan’s Run
"At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day." Dusty Baker
A guy named John Fay is scheduled to write some of the 2012 Doctor Who episodes.
Expect them to be harder to follow than normal.
He will be called "Dr. Woh"
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 10, 2012 2:32 PM EST up reply actions 7 recs
You know what I hate?
When the first 15 minutes of a conference call are spent on ice breaker questions like “If you were breakfast cereal, what kind of cereal would you be?”
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 2:43 PM EST reply actions
That's one crappy conference call
Bart: "Dad, what's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know."
"I'd be quick oats."
“Let’s get this shit done and over with.”
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I refused to answer
I came to Red Reporter instead.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 2:47 PM EST up reply actions
Froot Loops.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
So....
what kind of cereal WOULD you be?
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions
Stale wheat puffs
with iced tea instead of milk. Because I hate myself so much.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
Life.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:48 PM EST up reply actions
These calls are the absolute worst
Mandatory training. If you weren’t for you guys here, I would walk into traffic with the cordless phone in my hand. That way they could hear my screams.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions
Cheerio!
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 2:55 PM EST up reply actions
just remember to take yourself off mute first
The ends justify the means
by Highlifeman21 on Feb 14, 2012 2:53 AM EST up reply actions
How about a Big Bowl of Shut the Fuck Up?
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 10, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions
"Honey Bunches of Jesus Christ This Is Fucking Stupid"
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
by jch24 on Feb 10, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Well, I think I know what happened to nycredsfan
He is going to be changing his name to either nycbrewersfan, nyccubsfan, or nycastrosfan:
Jon Heyman @JonHeymanCBS Close
#brewers, #cubs, #astros are all good fits for edgar renteria, who has something left and will play in 2012
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 10, 2012 3:33 PM EST reply actions
Edgard cost 'creds not once but twice in 2011, it was so sweet
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
he won a Oakheart Year End Award
Worst wagerer of 2011 season.
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
by obc2 on Feb 10, 2012 4:13 PM EST via iPhone app up reply actions
Ok, which if you people are a member at smashboards.com or collectedanimals.org?
"Wait, you think I'm being mean to the pretend orangutan?" -- battlekow
Always reread your emails before sending 'em, folks.
We have a lost-and-found listeserv at our school, which is honestly pretty incessantly annoying. Until you see in your inbox:
A lady’s fossil has been turned in to the lost and found
Turns out they meant the watch. OR SO THEY WANT YOU TO THINK
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
how do you confuse fossil and watch?
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Fossil is a brand.
They make clothing, purses, and (!!) watches.
by the finest muffins on Feb 10, 2012 6:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Oh, I had never heard of the brand.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
things make a little more sense
Fossil and Lisa Frank.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
what's urrbody drinkin tonight?
I still have 1.5 hrs of work, but you can tell what I’m thinking about….
Fuck lion say what! i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
Trader Joe's Bohemian
Good ’n cheap.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 7:01 PM EST up reply actions
I find all Trader Joes beers pretty awful/undrinkable
that may just be my beer elitism sneaking out, though.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Eh
I’ll grant you that it’s not terrific, but at a buck a bottle I ain’t gonna complain.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 11, 2012 10:11 AM EST up reply actions
Sake!
Hello...BOOMSHAKALAKA!
by Kevin Mitchell is Batman on Feb 10, 2012 7:14 PM EST up reply actions
I have a high life right now
Later it’ll be vodka and sprite.
by crolfer on Feb 10, 2012 7:18 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I've not yet begun to flight.
Turns out I may be going to see some band at some bar at some late time tonight.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 7:54 PM EST up reply actions
Your A.A. meeting?
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Weezy is a raconteur
He doesn’t attend AA meetings. He turns them into par-tays.
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 8:20 PM EST up reply actions
Maker's
I’m sick!
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Feb 10, 2012 8:18 PM EST up reply actions
That reminds me
I have a pint of ol’ pappy’s cough medicine in the cabinet. Hooray for drinking alone!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 8:20 PM EST up reply actions
Woo!
I’m mixing mine with hot apple cider. It’s tasty.
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Feb 10, 2012 8:27 PM EST up reply actions
Ah. I thought about texting you for this rock n roll show.
I haven’t left yet so why don’t you text me if you’re not already sitting in your bathtub smoking cigars and eating ravioli.
I feel compelled to tell you that I know almost nothing of this band’s music. I’m seeing them because a friend of a friend is a part time drummer in the band. They play something like a Matthew Sweet-like geetar based power pop. And they’re playing at Outland which is evidently a Disney-fied/friendly Goth version of the old Outland which was an S&M club. I’m told there will be burlesque.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 9:13 PM EST up reply actions
Sounds like a good time
but I think I’m gonna hang low tonight. I’m beat.
Kick some of those goth buttholes in the soft bits for me though, will ya?
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 9:35 PM EST up reply actions
I'm tired myself.
But I am wearing my boots.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 9:40 PM EST up reply actions
That sounds delightful
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Feb 10, 2012 8:26 PM EST up reply actions
I had a cup of black tea after I went to the gym.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
since it is carbonated
is that like the champagne of gin?
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Gin and tonic was my friend on New Years Eve.
Oddly enough it was my enemy on New Years Day.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Good Grief...G & Ts are light and cheery drinks...
Always a friend to Holiday Celebrant.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
well it may have been the Jim beam i shotgunned after the gin and tonics.
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Where did you find Jim Beam in a can
"Aroldis Chapman is a seven course meal followed by four hours of sex on the table with a nymphomaniac model heiress who owns her own brewery." - jch24
by BK on Feb 10, 2012 9:48 PM EST up reply actions
by shot gunned
i mean high balled.
derp
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Really Yossi...
Everyone knows that you do an adult sized car bomb after your G & T
You should have already warmed up with a couple of shots Willits (or if you’ve limited taste Jim Beam).
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
tequila and soda is probably my go-to drink
for times when I don’t know where I am but know I need to start drinking.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
There sits a fifth of tequila
God, I swore I’d never drink it again, but my last little bout I had my hair pulled out by a man who wasn’t really my friend.
I love gin 'n seltzer!
It’s almost as refreshing and delicious as a gin and tonic, but with fewer calories! Hooray for diet drunk!
by Charlie Scrabbles on Feb 10, 2012 8:30 PM EST up reply actions
I'm doing my taxes and working on volunteer work, so I ain't drinking
Big refund coming though. I will have to buy a bottle of something nice once it comes through.
Turns out the one advantage to your wife spending the middle third of the year unemployed: lower income = tax refund!
The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who are nearly half people and half bicycles…
by RoastBeefKazenzakis on Feb 10, 2012 8:43 PM EST up reply actions
Commodore Perry with a Sapphire tonic chaser
Paul Newman’s “Harper” on the TiVo playing
Buy RED: My Uncensored Life in Rock by Sammy Hagar, today
Just finished reading 'Journey to the Center of the Earth' to the kiddos tonight.
Turns out they never made it the center. Unless you think maybe they did.
How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to email you the remaining eighty six photos of my dog dressed as a bear.
by Fat Vegas Alan on Feb 10, 2012 9:21 PM EST up reply actions
Well I would think that might have a lot to do with whom is doing the tonguing.
Scott Roland should retire tomorrow.
Step back from the computer, bugboy.
Before you drunkenly email someone!
"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 11, 2012 1:26 AM EST up reply actions
No drunk posting on the internet, young man!
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 11, 2012 1:43 AM EST up reply actions
x



![]()

"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 11, 2012 1:47 AM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Who is the in the first photo?
What hairstyle is in the second?
Add the letter in the third.
Who is in the fourth?
Part of the last name of the person in the fifth.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 11, 2012 10:54 AM EST up reply actions
'tHan is a smart one.
You young uns should listen to him!
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 11, 2012 5:59 PM EST up reply actions
I'm considering getting Civ V
should I do that, or should I have a life?
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
I bought it off Steam but haven't installed it yet
still playing IV!
expectations are premeditated resentments - cheshirecat
wow, three responses with exclamation marks.
It’s good. A little too good. I had a lot of stuff to do tonight that won’t get done.
"You said 'walks' twice."
"I like walks."
Is it terrible that he took the cakes or is it terrible that 40 is as many as four tens?
Either way, I couldn’t agree more.
This is an old favorite of mine.
"Good luck, National League managers – I have no idea how you’re supposed to get this guy out." - Dave Cameron on Joey Votto
by Grahamophone on Feb 11, 2012 5:58 PM EST up reply actions
Wee R
We Are ... Marshall!
by Thundering Turtle on Feb 11, 2012 3:21 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Anyone watching Australian baseball?
They have goddamn sewn on patches with ads.
And both songs I’ve heard coming out of commercial are connected to Dave Grohl.
Andrew Luck or something.
i had to go to something in teh 11th inning
who won?
"You know when I'm done ranting about elite power that rules the planet under a totalitarian government that uses the media in order to keep people stupid, my throat gets parched. That's why I drink Orange Drink".-Bill Hicks
Me, too.
It’s a natural tie-in to have Marshall sponsor giant speakers in foul ground by the bullpen…and call them the Marshall Stacks. Then when Sean enters the game, Jimi Hendrix’s feedback version of the Nation Anthem blares out of them to the cheering, patriotic masses!
"If she’s already pregnant, you’re gold." - Hawkeye00
by PeteyHendrix on Feb 13, 2012 1:36 AM EST up reply actions













































